Wikipedia:Peer review/Australian Crawl discography/archive1

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Australian Crawl discography[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is intended to put it forward as a Featured List candidate in the near future. I believe that it satisfies the requirements but would appreciate any other editors input.

Thanks, Dan arndt (talk) 02:10, 24 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Giants2008 comments - Discographies are a group of pages that I have no experience with, but I didn't want this to be archived without any feedback. Here are some thoughts on the prose in the lead:

  • Openings like "The discography of" are actively being discouraged at FLC. To avoid issues with the beginning, just start it off like an article on the band: "Australian Crawl was an Australian surf / pop rock band. The band released...". The current third sentence would also need an adjustment with this change.
  • Done First sentence adjusted; note I avoided repetition of 'releases' in second sentence. Started third sentence with, These include releases credited to...
  • "with Little River Band's guitarist David Briggs producing." A better sentence structure would be "which was produced by Little River Band's guitarist David Briggs." Also add a comma directly before this.
  • Done Note subsequent sentences were re-written slightly. Maintained wikilinks on LRB and DB.
  • Comma after "and ahead of AC/DC's Back in Black".
  • Done
  • "Their third album, Sons of Beaches released in 1982, also reached number 1." → "Their third album, Sons of Beaches, was released in 1982; it also reached number 1.
  • Done Added Kent ref.
  • Comma after Between a Rock and a Hard Place.
  • Done
  • This was followed by the announcement that they would disband after another tour, the live album, The Final Wave recorded their last performance on 27 January 1986, which was released in October and peaked at number 16." Split this in two sentences, with the first about the announcement and the second on the album.
  • Done Added a ref for first sentence, slightly reworded second sentence.
  • "After, Lost & Found in 1996" Remove comma following "After". In addition, the article already has this album's release date in the previous paragraph.
  • Done Also deleted in 1996.
  • Another comma after "followed by the live Reckless 1979-1995".
  • Done
  • Last sentence of the lead should be split into two sentences.
  • Done Split sentence at 1998. Keeps the two Australian Crawl and David Reyne releases in the same sentence.

Hopefully these will help polish the writing for a future FLC nomination. Giants2008 (17-14) 14:37, 8 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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