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Wikipedia:Peer review/Avatar: The Last Airbender (season 1)/archive2

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Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review as a last review process before an attempted FLC nomination. Please, any and all comments are welcome.

Thanks, haha169 (talk) 20:34, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Guyinblack25

[edit]

Since I don't have that much time today, I can't dissect all the prose—I skipped the episode summaries too. Here are the issue that stood out to me.

The lead
  • I would change this "It" to "The series" as I'm sure it was the series that was created by these people and not just this single season. The article is about season one, so in this case "it" would refers to season one. "ItThe series was created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko with..."
Done --haha169 (talk) 05:42, 14 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • This sentence seems redundant. I would remove it. "The season was completely animated and did not feature any live-action actors."
  • The plot is summarized twice in the lead; once at the end of the first paragraph, and then again at the end of the second.
  • I would wikilink the DVD regions here. They play in other places besides the ones listed, and it is extra information that doesn't really pertain to the subject. "The original releases were encoded in Region 1, a DVD type that usually plays only in American DVD players. A couple of months later, Nickelodeon released Region 2 DVDs, which can play in Europe."
Production
Reception
Episodes
DVD release
  • I would combine the two subsections together. Most of the information overlaps, and the two sections give undue weight to the different regions. The two tables can be combined to save space and compare region release dates.

Sorry for the half review. I hope it still helps. (Guyinblack25 talk 22:29, 12 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Thank you so much. I'll get to work on it immediately. :) --haha169 (talk) 05:38, 14 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Wow, these are very thorough suggestions. Thanks greatly - I would've never have caught them. --haha169 (talk) 05:47, 14 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Question by NuclearWarfare

[edit]

Any other issues here, or can I close up this peer review and put it up for a FL candidacy? NuclearWarfare contact meMy work 18:22, 18 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]