Wikipedia:Peer review/Black Eyed Peas discography/archive1

Black Eyed Peas discography

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I've listed this article for peer review because i have been working on improving the article recently. The sourcing, formatting, prose etc and would like some further ideas on how to improve the article. There was a previous FLC discussion in which there was unresolved issues, these have now all been sorted.

Thanks, Mister sparky (talk) 00:18, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: No big problems leap out at me. I have just a few suggestions of a nit-picky sort, and they will be easy to deal with.

Lead

The Manual of Style generally deprecates extremely short paragraphs. I'd suggest merging the one-sentence orphan with paragraph 2.

"The band's debut album, Behind the Front, was released by Interscope Records in the United States in June 1998. The album was well received, gaining a four-star review by Allmusic,[1] but only managed to chart lowly in the United States and France." - I'd suggest flipping the first sentence to active voice and re-casting the second to make it more direct. Suggestion: "Interscope Records released the band's debut album, Behind the Front, in the United States in June 1998. Although the album got a four-star review from Allmusic, it remained low on the charts in the US and France."

"In June 2003 the band released their third album... " - If "band" is singular, then you'd write "its album" rather than "their album"

"It spawned their two highest-peaking Hot 100 singles at the time... " - If the band is an "it", this one should be "its two highest-peaking".

"The Black Eyed Peas released their fifth studio album... " - This one is trickier because "Peas" looks plural but might not be. I'd consider ducking the awkwardness by using "the group" instead of "Black Eyed Peas"; i.e., "The group released its fifth studio album... ".

The next one could be ducked too if written as "It quickly became Black Eyed Peas' most successful album in the US by reaching number one."

The last one, "making it their first US number-one hit", could become "making it the band's first US number-one hit." All of this nit-picky stuff is meant to work around the awkwardness of whether a band or group is one thing or two or more things.

References

I'd suggest changing BLACK EYED PEAS in citation 23 to title case, Black Eyed Peas, even though the source has it in all caps.

Citation 15 has its date formatting backwards.

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 23:22, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

heeeey, thank you soooo much for your comments :) Mister sparky (talk) 00:21, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]