Wikipedia:Peer review/Brave Story/archive1

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Brave Story[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to see how this article can be improved to GA class

Thanks, Extremepro (talk) 02:05, 25 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Prose/Style/Layout

  • Why isn't the article called Brave Story (franchise)? There seems to be little about the novel itself.
Lead
  • Inlines generally aren't required in the lead.
  • Removed
  • The infobox is huge. Does it need to be that big? If so, could it be auto-collapsed?
  • I have no idea how to collapse it.
I'm really only familiar with video game templates. You might need to ask someone at the anime project about the template, {{Infobox animanga}}. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 12:25, 27 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Characters
  • The list form would probably be better expressed as prose. Also, consider losing this section and merging the information with Plot.
  • Merged character section into plot
Media
  • Could there be a List of Brave Story media article?
Film
  • Could the film itself be discussed in more detail? It's mostly a laundry list of release dates.
  • The Cast and Film festivals subsections are unnecessary. Merge them with the Film section and think about creating an article for the film itself, and including a {{Main}} tag here.
Games
  • There could be a {{Main}} tag for the games.
Reception
  • The Game section seems to only include the PSP version. If that's the case, it's a little big. Could there be a series template along the lines of {{VG Series Reviews}}?
Where? — Levi van Tine (t – c) 06:48, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Removed template because of Collectonian (talk · contribs)'s comment that "I'd drop the ratings table, it adds no real value to the article and is completely meaningless to the majority of readers." Extremepro (talk) 09:58, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Clearly I'm in the minority, then. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 11:00, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I moved it to the game's individual article - people who look up "Brave Story" and decide that they meant the PSP game "Brave Story:New Traveller" will get value and meaning out of it. --Malkinann (talk) 21:48, 30 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sources

  • Make sure all of the sources are reliable—GayGamer and RPGLand are probably not, for instance.
  • Unreliable sourced removed

Looks pretty good, otherwise. I think it needs some work before it could be put up at GAN, but it's definitely headed in the right direction. The "philosophy" of the article may need to be modified, though. The article reads like a Brave Story (franchise) article, but the lead suggests that it's about the novel only. Personally, I think a franchise article makes more sense, and every entry in the series (book, film, games, etc.) should have its own article. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 08:32, 27 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Collectonian (talk · contribs)

Sorry, but I strongly disagree with Vantine84's suggestions of splitting the article. It goes completely against WP:MOS-AM. None of these formats is significantly different enough to warrant such a split at all. Nor should there be a "list of media" article, no reason for it at all. Nor does the article need renaming as it does not need disambiguating. The infoboxes are fine, though the film one needs fixes. Studio is for the original producing studio only. There are separate fields for licensors. It should only list the Japanese release date, not the rest. Now, my comments regarding improvements needed for GAN:

  • A production section is needed, if possible. Any author notes in the novels, the manga, etc? Making of features in the film DVDs? Etc.
Started production section by stating the UNICEF donations from the film. Extremepro (talk) 09:35, 6 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • There is a 40 minute production section on the DVD but I can't seem to get my hands on it. Extremepro (talk) 10:38, 6 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • The plot does not appear to be complete, or does it just end with then agreeing to journey together? Also, as the novels are the primary work, the listing of actors from the films is not appropriate.
Removed listing of actors from plot.
  • The novel section is missing the author and illustrator information; was it originally serialized? Where?
  • Miyuki Miyabe is both author and illustrator. I don't think novels are serialized in magazines.
  • The manga section says it was serialized and when it ended, but does not have the start date. It should include how many individual chapters there were. French release dates are unnecessary.
  • Removed French dates. I can't find when the serialization started. As for individual chapters, I can't get my hands on the last Japanese volume of Brave Story.
  • The film section has too much excessive detail on foreign language releases. Noting it was licensed in specific countries by specific countries is all that is needed. It is also very redundant, with releases being mentioned twice for every country it seems. The film award nomination belongs in the reception section. Whole section should be in country/chronological order: cover original theatrical release and home video releases first, then English, then note other language releases briefly. Film festival section should be removed - not major releases. The film's cast should be in list format and cover only the major characters.
  • Removed film festival section entirely and tweaked the main paragraph. Listed four main characters.
  • Any more details on the game? Ideally there should be a short paragraph on each giving release details, type of game, and a 1-2 sentence summary of the plot.
  • In the soundtrack section, avex trax should be Avex Trax, per Wikipedia guidelines. Ignore stylizations like that.
  • 2x avex trax -> Avex Trax and rice (Japanese band) -> Rice
  • In the reception section, the subsections seem unnecessary, particularly with each being only one paragraph. I'd drop the ratings table, it adds no real value to the article and is completely meaningless to the majority of readers.
  • Removed subsections and the ratings table
  • The article has excessive non-free images. DVD and CD cover images should be removed as they do not meet WP:NONFREE guidelines.
  • Removed both images
  • Check the references to ensure they are using proper casing (like #38), have publisher info (like #42), and meet WP:RS.
  • Done
  • Check the ELs - the first two are not necessary from what I can see
  • Removed 3 ELs
  • The lead needs tweaking to better reflect the article and meet both the MoS and WP:LEAD

Look at current GA/FA anime/manga articles, such as Tokyo Mew Mew (FA) and Fullmetal Alchemist (GA), for guidance as well. -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 02:12, 28 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Just to clarify, I did not suggest splitting the article. It doesn't contain much information beyond what a (series) or (franchise) article would offer, anyways. It has brief summaries for every entry in the series; that's it. The article's first sentence also made me think it was about a novel, which is not true. It's about the franchise as a whole, including a little bit about the novel. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 06:29, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Without knowing too much about the series, this looks good, but I hanker to know more about the film, in particular. --Malkinann (talk) 07:01, 12 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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