Wikipedia:Peer review/Buffalo, New York/archive3

Buffalo, New York[edit]

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like feedback on what improvements will need to be made for consideration as a featured article, as it would be my first nomination. The article passed GA earlier today with Wugapodes providing insightful feedback. I also plan on taking pictures of the skyline that Commons and other free-license websites lack, as I have the equipment to do this. Thanks, dekema (Formerly Buffaboy) (talk) 03:58, 15 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Femke[edit]

Great you're bringing this to FA. A few comments

{{lang|nl|Jonge Tobias}} -> Correct pronounciation for text-to-speech.

I am not sure what this is referring to? Should I put the pronunciation in the first sentence?

If you use the lang template around non-English words, text-to-speech software will know how to pronounce it. No need to put in the pronunciation otherwise. FemkeMilene (talk) 08:01, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Like much of the Rust Belt, Buffalo has focused on recovering from the effects of late-20th-century deindustrialization. needs citation

Done

After the Revolutionary War, settlers from New England and eastern New York began to move into the area. needs citation
With changing demographics and an increased number of refugees from other areas on the city's East Side -> I'm not sure this is supported by the source (FN118, FN119 comes closer at a quick glance). It is the area east of the city or the east part of the city? What is special about the East side?
The term Bible-minded is a bit weird. I'm not sure it's due, but if you think it is, it needs explaining.
The sports section seems underreferenced. Are you sure Buffalo Beauts play in a minor league? This section may benefit from talking about normal/nonprofessional sport too
The Great recession started in 2007. The source you cited only shows the house prices, not whether Buffalo did well overall in the recession
I think you can just say Tesla, instead of adding Inc.
ethnic restaurants -> dunno about US English, but to my ears this sounds a bit insensitive to race, pretending that white people are the normal and don't have an ethnicity.
Is it necessary to list that many highways? Feels a bit unbalanced with the section about walking/cycling.
runs at grade -> dunno what that means
The Buffalo area has a larger-than-average pay disparity than the rest of the U.S -> between men/women, between white/POC?
The table with private employment has two empty columns. Is there a reason to not mention public employment?
FN244: don't shout in titles, even if the original source does

I'm going to leave prose nit-picking to others. FemkeMilene (talk) 18:59, 2 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Quick comment from Sdkb[edit]

Not reviewing the full article, but just one quick thing I noticed: there are a few ways in which you could probably improve the lead image collage. The whitespace gaps aren't all the same width, so some tiny cropping is needed to get them aligned. Also, some of the images are re-used in the body, which isn't prohibited (as far as I know) but probably isn't ideal if you have a good selection to choose from. I can't comment on the choice of images without knowing Buffalo better, but something to generally consider as you're making changes is that you want the images to represent the full spectrum of life in the city: not just one ward, or not just touristy areas, or not just one type of building, or not just nice-looking wealthy areas. Cheers, {{u|Sdkb}} ^talk 18:16, 25 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Dekema: to ensure that they saw the above comments. Z1720 (talk) 12:25, 6 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720, Sdkb, and Femkemilene: Yes, I believe I will have time this weekend to shore things up for a change. dekema (Formerly Buffaboy) (talk) 05:29, 9 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Dekema: ready for more comments? If so, ping the above editors when they are complete. Z1720 (talk) 17:40, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, I'll handle them this weekend. Thanks. dekema (Formerly Buffaboy) (talk) 21:17, 6 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: I am closing this PR because it seems like Dekema is not editing at the moment. When they return, they can address the comments on their own time and open a new PR once the above are addressed. Z1720 (talk) 02:23, 22 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Understandable @Z1720, I just have to find time to take care of everything. dekema (Formerly Buffaboy) (talk) 03:09, 25 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]