Wikipedia:Peer review/Cavalier King Charles Spaniel/archive1

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because while I want to see if improvements can be made to it in order to move it up to at least GA, I'm wondering about the major differences it has compared to some of the other dog breed articles.

For instance, it's health section is massive - should those enormous paragraphs be culled and potentially moved into their own relevant pages?

Also I'm always wondering if a gallery generally has any place in such an article.

Thanks, Miyagawa (talk) 20:18, 3 November 2009 (UTC)

Comments from Dana boomer

Hello! This is a very nice start to a dog breed article - and they're such a beautiful dog that it's nice to see their article get some TLC. The first thing I would suggest would be to look at some other recent dog breed GAs, to see if they give you any ideas. None of them are perfect, but they may spark an idea - I'd start with German Shepherd Dog and English Cocker Spaniel. As for specific comments for this article on its way to GA:

• The lead needs to be expanded. For an article of this length, two to three solid paragraphs (each a little longer than the current one) is appropriate. The lead should be a summary of the entire article, while including no new information.
• In the infobox, the FCI and ANKC links are not working.
• Ref #2 (Dog Breeders in Denial) deadlinks, and blogs are generally not considered reliable sources anyways.
• There is a complete lack of references in the first three sections, which will need to be remedied before GAN. Two subsections of the Health section are missing references, while the Syringomyelia section is missing references in its last paragraph. The History section is also completely unreferenced.
• The formatting of the web references needs some work. They should always include publishers and access dates, and should include authors, publication dates and other info when available.
• The article needs extensive work on spacing and punctuation - please comb through it thoroughly, and possibly get another editor to also look through the prose. Perhaps post on the dog breeds project talk page?
• The article isn't that long, so I don't think the health section needs to be removed to its own article. However, it does dominate the TOC, and has several short sections. Perhaps work on combining these based on type of disease? For example, Keratoconjunctivitis sicca and Other eye disorders could be combined into simply "Eye disorders", while Hip dysplasia and Luxating patella could be combined into "Joint disorders". Primary Secretory Otitis Media and Deafness could also be combined into "Ear disorders".
• The Health section has no images in it. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, it would be neat to include images, either of a couple of the specific diseases or of the breed in general (possibly the photos you keep from the gallery, see below).
• The gallery is probably not necessary in this article, especially as many of the images do not show anything new about the breed or give the reader any additional information. I would keep the first photo (of the Blenheim sitting), and only then if it is really an especially good representation of the color. I would also keep the last photo, of the best in show dog, and maybe even use this as the lead image, because it is a wonderful representation of the dog, showing its full body, well groomed, and even facing into the article (a huge plus!). The middle three show nothing new and could be tossed.

I hope the comments above help you in your quest for GA or more. I realize that it may seem like a lot of work to do, but as I said above, this is a really good start on the article. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I will be watchlisting this page, so either ask me here or on my talk page. Dana boomer (talk) 22:09, 9 November 2009 (UTC)