Wikipedia:Peer review/Damageplan/archive1

Damageplan[edit]

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I hope to get this article to FA standards. Short but sweet eh.

Thanks, M3tal H3ad (talk) 04:42, 12 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

J Milburn[edit]

"US marine" Shouldn't that be "U.S. Marine", and a link to United States Marine Corps would be good.
"and that they had stolen his lyrics" Claimed that they had? Believed that they had?
"vocalist as Rob Halford rejoined Judas Priest and he did not have a job" I really don't like this sentence.
"The album was recorded at the brothers' backyard studio, Chasin' Jason in Arlington, Texas where previous Pantera albums were recorded." Comma after 'Texas'.
"music critics, Christine Klunk of PopMatters commented" -> "music critics, with Christine Klunk, of PopMatters, commenting"
"The murder of Dimebag Darrell" Remove "the"- avoid definate and indifinate articles in section/page titles.
"Thompson, however was killed" Comma after 'however'.
"however he was approached" I think 'but' would sound better than 'however'.
"was setup called" In that case, set up is two words.
"of drum technician John Brooks, and tour manager Chris Paluska" Either remove that comma, or add another one after 'Paluska'.
"Niggemeyer was nominated for a bravery award on the TV show America's Most Wanted, although did not win." Reference?
"studio, Chasin' Jason where" Comma after 'Jason'.
He found the quote was authentic and referred to him" Too many 'he's and 'him's.
"Anselmo is the vocalist of the bands Down and Superjoint Ritual." Ref?
Can we have refs for the chart positions?
""Ashes to Ashes" was featured The Punisher: The Album and contains a guest appearance by Jerry Cantrell." Ref?

It's not bad, expecially considering the fact the band has only released one album, but still lacks something. J Milburn (talk) 14:23, 12 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. I will continue to read interviews to find info to bring it to FA. M3tal H3ad (talk) 03:02, 13 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR _t 05:30, 14 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]