Wikipedia:Peer review/Darknet market/archive1

Darknet market

Hi. I've spent several months working on this article due to brevity of detail you will find on any individual news article about the matter, the dubious reputation of various 'guides' on the internet and to showcase the serious academic research that is now happening in this area.

It's reached a point as primary editor that it's hard for me to obviously restructure it further, so I would appreciate feedback. I'm aware the 'History' section is not yet 100%, complete, this probably can't be done until Draft:List of darknet markets is completed and submitted.

Expert feedback would be appreciated to develop this further :)

Thanks, Deku-shrub (talk) 12:37, 8 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from RO

Lead

• The lead seems a bit short for an article of this length. Make sure you haven't neglected to summarize all important points.

1970s to 2011

• Though the earliest known darknet market started in 2006

This might be a good place to introduce that market.

• to be transacted using the Internet

Internet ought not be capped.

• Web-based drug markets

Also ought not be capped.

• This section has two stand-alone sentences, which is odd. Work them into the paragraphs.

2011 to present

• operated by Ross Ulbricht under pseudoname "Dread Pirate Roberts" from 2011[18][19] until October 2013 when it was shut down by the FBI.[20]

You need a comma to set off the nonrestrictive clause that starts with "when".

• described by news site DeepDotWeb as 'the best advertising the dark net markets could have hoped for' following the proliferation of competing sites this caused.

Those quote marks should be double, not single.

• Some former Silk Road site administrators went on to form Silk Road 2.0.

Needs a citation.

• This section also has several one-liners that ought to be worked into prose as part of an over-arching narrative.

Search and discussion

• Many market places maintain their own dedicated discussion forums and subreddits.

Whenever a sentence ends a paragraph or section it needs to be cited.

• allows the searching of multiple markets directly without login or registration.

Another sentence fragment that appears to be uncited.

• A further PIN maybe be required to perform transactions, better protecting users against login credential compromise.

Another

Payments and infrastructure

• Buyers may 'finalize early'

Single marks should be double, or even better avoided via paraphrasing.

Market types

• This section has four rather small "paragraphs". I'd combine these into one or two.

Vendors

• Evolution would ban 'child pornography, services related to murder/assassination/terrorism, prostitution, ponzi schemes, and lotteries' but allow the wholesaling

More single quote marks that should be double.

Commentary

• There's more single marks in the first paragraph of this section.
• James Martin's 2014 book 'Drugs on the Dark Net: How Cryptomarkets are Transforming the Global Trade in Illicit Drugs' discusses some vendors

Book titles ought to be italicized, not single quotes.

• even branding their opium or cocaine as "fair trade", "organic" or sourced from conflict-free zones.[83]

These quote marks are double, but superfluous.

• I'd combine the last two paragraphs, which are quite short.

Conclusion

A nice piece overall. I think the main issues are with quote marks and short paragraphs that ought to be worked into the prose. I found this an interesting topic that I know virtually nothing about prior to reading. The narrative needs to be tightened up some, but I think the bones of a good article are here. Nicely done, and keep up the great work! RO^(talk) 16:22, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

@Rationalobserver: Thanks very much for the feedback, all great points I'll incorporate! Deku-shrub (talk) 17:25, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

@Rationalobserver: All done! Deku-shrub (talk) 23:20, 20 August 2015 (UTC)