Wikipedia:Peer review/Democratic Left Movement (Lebanon)/archive1

Democratic Left Movement (Lebanon)[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review to further advance its standing, receive much-needed feedback, and fix any errors.

Really, any and all feedback would be much appreciated. As I am quite new to Wikipedia, and this is the first article I wrote, I'm not entirely sure how to concretely interpret the article guidelines. I've sourced everything in the article thoroughly but would like to know if I've done so correctly. Bottom Line: I'd like to see an example of a correct Lebanese Political Party article so I can go on and write some of the others, which all suffer criminally from POV, unencyclopedic tone, and unsourced claims.

Thanks, Mnation2 (talk) 21:22, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A few initial comments

First, apologies for the delay in reaching your article, but the Peer Review process is currently suffering from a heavy backlog arising from a chronic shortage of reviewers. I have only skimmed the article up to now, but thought I would leave these initial comments in the hope that they will prove helpful.
There are numerous Wikipedia articles on political parties, none of which are currently featured articles. This could be due to the point you raise above about POV. There are 14 Good Articles on political parties and movements, among which is Hezbollah, a long article which you have presumably looked at. I haven't read it, but its GA status was reconfirmed after review in June 2008, so it must be in reasonably neutral. Is it in any way a helpful model? You could look at the other 13 GAs - go to WP:GA and scroll through until you reach the "Politics" subheading.
In your own article, you need a better understanding of the function of the lead section, which is to act as a general summary of the whole article, not just an outline of the subject. All significant information in the article must at least be touched on in the lead. In this case important events, such as the assassinations, are not mentioned in the lead. Take a look at WP:LEAD, a MoS article which has useful information about how to construct a lead.

That's all I can do at the moment. I will try and come back with a more detailed review in a few days, but I am a bit occupied at the moment, what with the backlog and my own work so I can't say exactly when this will be. Feel free to leave a reminder on my talkpage if I leave it too long. Good luck, Brianboulton (talk) 16:36, 6 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the reply. I'll be sure include in the lead an overview of all content mentioned. While the Hezbollah article is helpful to an extent, it is limited by the reality that Hezbollah is much more than just a political party. It is as much a socioreligious organization, a charity, a paramilitary force, and effectively a quasi-state as it is a political institution. Mnation2 (talk) 01:29, 7 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]