Wikipedia:Peer review/Draconian (band)/archive1

Draconian (band)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
Fair amount of reliable sources is available. The article was completely unreferenced, so I added some references, but it is still too short. There should be more sections about band's albums and style instead of pushing everything into Biography section. Also, if possible, some images of the band performing live should be found. Since I am not experienced with finding free images, I would kindly ask someone who is to take that responsibility. — NikFreak (leave message) 18:30, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

This review began two months ago, but has not been properly formatted with {{subst:PR/subst}} and {{Peer review page}} per PR instructions. Listing at WP:PR now with those templates in place. --Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 16:17, 9 November 2010 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for adding references and for your work on this article. Peer review is a place for pointing out areas where improvement is needed, but not necessarily a place for doing those fixes. I agree with your description of some of the issues with the article, and below give some other suggestions for improvement.

• The current lead is one short sentence - it needs to be expanded so that the lead is an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. Please see WP:LEAD
• My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but I agree that the article's structure needs to be reorganized first.
• I agree that some images would really help. Unfortunately, when I went on Flickr and searched for freely licensed images, I could not find any that appeared to either be o the band or the lead singer. If you know of a website that has some images, it might be worth contacting them and asking if they would consider releasing an image or two under a free license.
• A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are many WP:FAs on bands that might be useful models. See Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Music for a list of all Music FAs
• There are several major issues remaining with the article. One of the most important is still a lack of references, despite the refs which have already been added. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
• Make sure refs that are used are complete. Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. So the first ref (from Allmusic.com) has an author, which needs to be listed. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• The language is rough in spots and could use a copyedit. One example The demo counted with flutist and vocalist Jessica Eriksson, keyboardist and vocalist Susanne Arvidsson and with a special participation of Andreas Haag on the introductory section of “My Nemesis”. I have no idea what "The demo counted with" people means, and the special participation part is just awkward. This sounds as if it were perhaps written by someone who did not speak English as a native language.
• The article also has many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that break up the flow and need to be either combined with others or perhaps expanded.
• The article has comprehensiveness issues. The "Biography" section (usually called something like History) ends in 2006 and does not mention their 2008 album.
• Not much else to say now as the article is still pretty short.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:20, 16 November 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for your review. It has been very helpful. I don't really have time for editing articles on Wikipedia at the moment, but if I find some time, I will try to follow your suggestions. — NikFreak (leave message) 23:08, 29 December 2010 (UTC)