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Wikipedia:Peer review/Eiji Tsuburaya/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to get it to FA states in time for Tsuburaya's 122 birthday. I've been working on the page for some time now and expect the lengthy information that has been added to the page to pass the well-written standard. - Eiga-Kevin2 (talk) 06:04, 20 March 2023 (NZDT)

Comments from Z1720

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I suggest nominating this article at WP:GA first, as that is a step towards FA status and allows more thorough feedback. One comment after a quick skim: Multiple sections in the article are quite long, making the article less appealing to the reader. Try to removing unnecessary information or breaking up the article into more sections. Typically, I think the average section in an article should be 4 paragraphs. I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 20:53, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, for your advice. Do you have any suggestions of what "unnecessary" info should be removed? - Eiga-Kevin2 (talk) 03:58, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Eiga-Kevin2: Remove any info that is not directly related to the person's life or the reader's understanding of this person. You can rely upon wikilinks to pick up some of the explanation if needed. Also, read through WP:REDEX to remove redundant words, and remove editorialised words (ex. in "In 1933, Tsuburaya saw the groundbreaking American film King Kong," remove groundbreaking). Hope this helps! Z1720 (talk) 20:42, 30 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks. Eiga-Kevin2 (talk) 21:15, 30 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]