Wikipedia:Peer review/Endgame (album)/archive1

Endgame (album)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because my ultimate goal is for it to become a GA, but need a little help verifying if it meets the standards to do so, and if not, what needs to be fixed. Any assistance would be appreciated.

Thanks, Bruce Campbell (talk) 19:40, 20 November 2010 (UTC)

No formalities here, but one comment. The first paragraph in the intro strikes me as "mixed up". One sentence mentions the label and guitarist together, for reasons that escape me. Then there's something about producers and chart ratings. Then the bassist. Might I take a stab at cleaning it up? Maury Markowitz (talk) 13:15, 25 November 2010 (UTC)

I fixed the coherence issue in the opening paragraph, I believe. If you had something better in mind feel free to over-ride my changes to your own. Bruce Campbell (talk) 19:40, 25 November 2010 (UTC)

Yes, that's exactly what I was going to do! I did move one whitespace though, to group the description of the songs in the second para. Maury Markowitz (talk) 22:24, 25 November 2010 (UTC)

Ok I've read over the rest and like it a lot. Some more minor touchups you might consider:

• • Separate the critical review comments in the intro to a third para.
  • Move the first sentence of the following section about the producer. Again, this just seems like it would be better placed lower down?

That's about all I can think of given the current content. It's in-depth, well written, and reads well, definitely GA quality IMHO

I do wonder though... There's a couple of good bits on the basis of the individual songs, that the inspiration was. But is there something similar for the album as a whole? Is the album just a collection of songs, or was there an overarching theme? Maury Markowitz (talk) 22:31, 25 November 2010 (UTC)

Made the review portion of the intro into a third paragraph, and lowered the part about the producer to a more fitting part I think. As for the album as a whole, there are overlapping concepts and most of the songs share similiar ideas, but the album itself doesn't really have a core theme or anything, no. It's no 2112, anyway.

Thank you for your help, and I'll be nominating it for GA after some final reflections. Bruce Campbell (talk) 19:40, 25 November 2010 (UTC)