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Wikipedia:Peer review/Everton F.C./archive2

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Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it was formerly a featured article and lost its status therefore it needs improving

Thanks, SenorKristobbal (talk) 01:05, 4 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Casliber

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I'm copyediting as I go. I'll place [citation needed] tags where they are needed as a pointer. I'll jot questions below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:48, 5 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • In the Everton F.C. article, there's very little about the club's most notable players other than mentions with transfer fees (and a little about Dixie Dean)
  • e.g. are Tommy Lawton and Joe Mercer worth a mention in the parent article, and then embellished more in the daughter/history article. i.e. what did Lawton, Mercer and Jones do that was so successful....

Comment

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Is club singular or plural? It can't be both--86.163.16.221 (talk) 14:25, 5 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

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Seriously, these comments are just on the lead. I'm happy to help further, but this needs more work.

  • Yes, club/team singular plural thing. Clearly much more of an issue for our US readers than us, we have something like a discretionary plural which allows this kind of bad-ass grammatical behaviour. But for me, a general rule would be refer to the "club" as a singular and the "team" etc as a plural. Not going to please all the people all the time, particular the US readers, but better than nothing.
  • Link association football.
  • No need for "the city of".
  • Should be able to find a link for English football.
  • "immediate post World War Two period" probably a bunch of hyphens missing here!
  • Is League Championship capitalised or not?
  • "The club's most recent major trophy was the 1995 FA Cup. The club's .." The club's... boring repeat.
  • "averaging over 36,000 people per game" no need for "people"
  • "and a few players. " - vague, not encyclopaedic.
  • What's an "expandable stadium"?
  • "50,000 seater " hyphen.
  • Link Kirby in the lead.
  • "The club's home colours have traditionally been royal blue and white, since the 1901–02 season." either traditionally or since a season. Not both.
  • "Their most famous player is Dixie Dean," that's pure original research or opinion. I would rephrase it to be neutral.

The Rambling Man (talk) 19:53, 8 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]