Wikipedia:Peer review/Flower of Life (manga)/archive1

Flower of Life (manga)[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to see how this article can be improved to GA-class or later, FA-class.

Thanks, Extremepro (talk) 10:13, 18 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: I feel that this article has been brought to peer review prematurely, as much more work needs to be done before it can be considered for GA-class. At present the prose content is so slight as to be not much more than a stub. I think in all honesty that the B rating is overgenerous.

Take a look at Kashimashi Girl Meets Girl. This is a manga article that has achieved GA, and could be used by you as a general model for the development of your own article. Note that it has a proper lead summarising the whole article, a detailed plot section, and other developed sections dealing with production, media and reception. Yours needs to approach this level of detail.

Within the little prose that is available, I have problems with sentences such as "Digital Manga Publishing released the manga's four tankōbon of the manga between January 17, 2007 and May 20, 2009." You also have three consecutive sentences of the Reception section beginning: "Comics Worth Reading's Johanna Draper Coulson..." Maybe you should get a little help with the prose as you develop the article. I also think that the ISBN table is an awkward and unnecessary intrusion.

I would like to see this worked up to a good standard, so I hope you won't be discouraged by what I've said, and will continue to work on it.

Brianboulton (talk) 17:39, 26 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for peer reviewing this. But I only created the article, Malkinann (talk · contribs) did most of the work. Wonder if you could look at the Brave Story peer review as well? It is slightly larger than Flower of Life (manga). Once again, thank you. Extremepro (talk) 22:43, 26 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]