Wikipedia:Peer review/Grey Cup/archive1

Grey Cup

This peer review discussion has been closed.
The Grey Cup is probably Canada's second most famous sporting trophy, and with the 100th Grey Cup coming in November, I am hoping it can reach FA status in time to appear as a potential TFA on the day of the game. As such, I am looking for feedback to guage how close to FA calibre the article is. A couple editors have already been kind enough to offer copy edits, but if there is more work to be done, please don't hold back! Thanks, Resolute 22:52, 18 July 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• "marks the 100th Grey Cup" seems a bit awkward. The game would mark the 100th anniversary, or would be the 100th Grey Cup, but I don't think it can mark the 100th cup. I don't know if that made any sense.
• The sentence "The Grey Cup has been broken on several occasions, stolen twice, held for ransom and in 1947, survived a fire that destroyed numerous artifacts housed in the same building." is probably correct, grammatically speaking, but the syntax is a little strange. Since the first items in your serial list could begin with "has been" (has been broken, has been stolen, has been held for ransom) the final part seems out of place. Perhaps dividing the sentence might do the trick: "The Grey Cup has been broken on several occasions, stolen twice, and held for ransom. In 1947, survived a fire that destroyed numerous artifacts housed in the same building."
• "Competition for the trophy has been exclusively within Canada" is a little ambiguous, since it implies that the game is only played in Canada, rather than only Canadian teams. Perhaps a better way to phrase it would be "Competition for the trophy has been exclusively between teams based in Canada,"
• "The" should be capitalized in the phrase beginning "the University of Toronto Varsity Blues defeated" because it's a complete sentence following a colon.

  I must be blind, as I am not seeing either example. Resolute 21:08, 25 July 2012 (UTC)

  • Same thing for "the Saskatchewan Roughriders defeated the Hamilton Tiger-Cats"
• "the Cup was forgotten" Forgotten or lost?

  The source I used specifically says "forgotten".

• Not suggestion, just an observation: Why do sportsmen and athletes from 1890 to about 1930 have the funniest names?
• "A push toward a more professional attitude" sort of implies that the players were not acting professional, personally speaking, but I don't think that's what you mean.

  No, I was intending to focus on the the sport from an organizational level, rather than the players. I will reword to clarify. !!!!

Otherwise I don't see any issues through a brief reading of the article. This clearly took plenty of time to put together, and the information is presented in a clear manner, without the jargon that often pervades sports articles. As an added bonus, it's an interesting subject to read about (or, um, aboot.) Runfellow (talk) 02:41, 24 July 2012 (UTC)

• Thanks for the review, as well as the compliments on the article! I will look to address these comments tomorrow. Regards, Resolute 23:30, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
  • And done. Everything should be addressed, specific comments left above as needed. Thanks again, Resolute 21:08, 25 July 2012 (UTC)