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Wikipedia:Peer review/Harry Shearer/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'd like to eventually take this page to FAC and any and all comments would be most welcome. -- Scorpion0422 17:59, 10 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Jafeluv

Infobox:

  • Occupations: Uncapitalize all but the first one. Also wikilink the occupations.

Lead:

  • Expand the paragraph about The Simpsons. You should give the role due weight since it's the one he's most known for.
    • Will do.

Early career:

  • "Shearer received the role when he was seven-years-old seven years old."
  • Done.
  • The second paragraph uses quotation marks a lot. A part of it could be reworded to avoid a direct quote.
  • "The show, which starred Christopher Guest, Tom Leopold and Michael McKean, was not picked up." – Either wikilink Michael McKean or omit the first name.
    • Done.

Spinal Tap:

  • "The film satirizes the wild personal behavior and musical pretensions of hard-rock hard rock and heavy-metal heavy metal bands..." (Note also that heavy metal should point to heavy metal music, not heavy metal.)
    • Done.

The Simpsons:

  • The second paragraph talks about "Flanders" and "Monroe" and seems to assume that the reader knows who they are. When I read the last two sentences, I had to look back to see where "Monroe" was introduced (way back in the first sentence).
    • Done/

Le Show and radio work:

  • Quote box: replace -- with dashes.
  • Done.
  • "Since the merger of the XM and Sirius satellite radio services the program is no longer available on either; on which Shearer commented, 'because I guess, you know, mergers are good.'[42]" – What does the last part add?
    • Removed.

Further career:

  • The part about Not Enough Indians uses too many "quotes", some chould be reworded to avoid a direct quote.

Personal life:

  • "Shearer was married to Penelope Nichols in 1974"
  • Done.
  • "...divorcing in 1977" → "They divorced in 1977."
  • Done.
  • "has been to every edition of Jazz Fest since then, except one." – Why is this relevant?
  • "Shearer often speaks and writes about the Hurricane Katrina disaster, belittling the coverage of it in the mainstream media[65] and criticizing the role of the United States Army Corps of Engineers in causing it." – Causing what?
    • Fixed.

Filmography:

  • Probably large enough to warrant a separate article.

Awards:

  • "On June 19, 2008, it was announced that Shearer would receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in the radio category." – This has been already stated twice in the article.
    • Removed.

I hope this helps. Jafeluv (talk) 03:18, 14 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It does. Thanks for taking a look. -- Scorpion0422 18:22, 14 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]