Wikipedia:Peer review/Helen Shiller/archive1
Helen Shiller[edit]
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I intend eventual GA.
Thanks, Hugh (talk) 05:23, 6 January 2012 (UTC)
Comments:
- Lead is too short, it should summarize the article, see WP:LEAD
- There should be information about date of birth and place of birth, see again LEAD
done Hugh (talk) 04:23, 11 January 2012 (UTC)
- Remove the flag icon in the infobox, see WP:MOSFLAG
done Hugh (talk) 04:23, 11 January 2012 (UTC)
- One-sentence sections should be merged somewhere or expanded
done Hugh (talk) 04:23, 11 January 2012 (UTC)
- Replace {{cn}} templates with references
- The prose does not flow, eg too many short sentences which should be merged with other.
done Hugh (talk) 02:38, 12 January 2012 (UTC)
done Hugh (talk) 04:23, 11 January 2012 (UTC)
- I can't see the picture File:HelenShiller.jpg in [1]
- Do not link publishers in references; non-printed sources should be de-italicized, see MOS:ITALICS
done Hugh (talk) 03:26, 12 January 2012 (UTC)
- Do not link the same article multiple times, see WP:OVERLINKING
- The article generally needs copediting. You can request one at WP:GOCE/REQ
- Just a few examples regarding the prose:
- You have "Schiller ... Shilller ... Shiller's ... Shiller's" in the first section. How about you rewrite it like this: "Shiller was born to middle-class home owners in 1947[2] and raised on Long Island[3] in New York.[1]"
done Hugh (talk) 04:23, 11 January 2012 (UTC)
- "Her father "perfected fake suede."" - how is that important? Write only important aspects, and remove anything unrelated, see WP:TRIVIA
it is a quote from the subject of the article, attribution added in text Hugh (talk) 04:23, 11 January 2012 (UTC)
These are the major factors. Once you fix those, this article will have better potential at GAN. Regards.--♫GoP♫TCN 12:34, 10 January 2012 (UTC)
Thanks for the notes! Hugh (talk) 04:23, 11 January 2012 (UTC)