Wikipedia:Peer review/Highlander: The Series (season 2)/archive1

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Highlander: The Series (season 2)[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this list for peer review because it will enter FLC as soon as this PR is finished. I would especially like reviewers to look at the prose because I'm not a native English speaker and report any other problem so that they can be fixed before FLC.

Thank you for your time, Rosenknospe (talk) 13:40, 27 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement.

  • A model article is often useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are a lot of FLs on television seasons, The O.C. (season 4) is the one of the newest FLs and may have some good ideas.
    • Indeed, I used it and also the Lost episode lists. Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • This article needs a copyedit to clean up and clarify the language - I think this is probably the biggest obstacle to its becoming a FL. Some examples
    • the household average for all dayparts scored 2.7/9, representing a 40-50% share increase among the key demographic rating groups.[25] I do not understand what "dayparts" are, it is not a word I know. I think that it should be either "40–50 percent increase" (spell out percent, use an n-dash per WP:DASH and a nonbreaking space per WP:NBSP) or perhaps even just "40 to 50 percent increase".
      • Dayparting is the practise of dividing a day into parts for audience measurement purposes; I have provided the link to the article. I also modified the sentence as you suggested. Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Or this MacLeod stabs Horton but Horton shots him dead. When MacLeod revives... I know he's immortal, but he can be killed, so dead does not seem the right word here.
      • When an Immortal is killed but not beheaded, it is admitted that for all intends and purposes, he is dead until he revives. This is not just me speaking like that; the producers use the words "dead" and killed" when talking about this kind of situation. They say things like "He was killed for the first time" and other characters ask immortals what it is like to be dead. This explanation has been accepted in the Season 1 FLC, so I hope it's okay if I leave it here. If you don't think so, please tell me. Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • OK, I have not seen the show or the movies. It should be "shoots him dead" by the way, still needs a copyedit ;-) Ruhrfisch ><>°° 19:46, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Or this In early 1993, Rysher TPE were one of the few international co-producers of the show that had already aired the first series. could perhaps be better as In early 1993, Rysher TPE were one of the few international co-producers of the show, which had already aired the first series. if I understand the meaning
      • Reworded as In early 1993, Rysher TPE were one of the few international co-producers of the show to have already aired the first series. Does that sound better now ? Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • I think the verb "aired" is what is confusing me - it generally means to transmit or broadcast and is what the television station does. Rysher TPE is a part of the production, not a part of the transmission, right? I am not really sure what the sentence means Ruhrfisch ><>°° 19:46, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
          • Good point. Indeed, usually the producer gives money for the filming and sells the rights to the networks. Highlander is quite unique in that the show was produced by those who would either air or distribute it. They got their investment back in advertising rights, if you like. But I got ahead of myself about Rysher, which was a distributor, not a network. I'll reword the sentence. Rosenknospe (talk) 22:37, 17 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Or MacLeod prevents Eli Jarmel (Tom Watson) to kill Drake, who has killed Eli's family years ago. could perhaps be clearer as MacLeod prevents Eli Jarmel (Tom Watson) from killing Drake, who killed Eli's family years ago.
      • That's my lack of vernacular showing again ;D Modified as you suggested. Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • You can ask for a copyediting help in the last section at WP:PRV
      • I did ask, but the copyeditor didn't find much to say, which encouraged me to go to PR. I certainly will ask someone else for more text wrestling ;D Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some places could do a better job of providing context for the reader - for example the ratings above are not explained fully (how many million households did this represent, what rank was the show for the sweeps period?). See WP:PCR
    • I have provided the percentage equivalent for the ratings, but that's all I can do. Please note that this season is 15 years old, and that ratings are extremely difficult to find before the days of online instant news. This is also why I didn't provide figures for every episode; I don't have them. The value of the rating point is variable even during one single day, and I couldn't find the value for 1993, neither the rank of the show on my favorite news database. If you have any idea where I can search for them, I'll be grateful. Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • I know newspapers sometimes have the week's ratings with explanations (how many households a share point represnts that week), but I do not have a particular source in mind. Sorry. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 19:46, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Notes probably need references, especially the last two (alternate titles)
    • Modo's credit and the episode titles are self-referential, so don't need a reference, as far as I know and if this hasn't changed since my last FLC. Otherwise I'd probably have to remove them, but I feel the information is useful. Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Perhaps more information could be provided about the airing and reception of the show in countries other than the United States. Otherweise seems to risk WP:NPOV issues if focused on the US alone.
    • As I said above, it is very difficult to find such data as ratings weren't such a big deal in the old days outside of the US. I certainly didn't find any British or French ratings. Rosenknospe (talk) 14:35, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • My thought was more information needed to be provided about where it was broadcast in countries other than the US - is even a mention of the channels and countries possible? Ruhrfisch ><>°° 19:46, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • I don't know if I can back that up with reliable sources. Even so, I feel that information would rather belong to the main article, not the season page. What do you think ? Rosenknospe (talk) 22:37, 17 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps. Thank you for peer reviewing other articles at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 23:16, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Music2611
Hi there, I just finished reading the article, I agree with Ruhrfisch the article requires a bit more cleanup and copy-editing before going to FL. My comments are listed below.

  1. Maybe this is because I'm not a native speaker of English, but the word beheaded seems a bit unclear, I saw the first two Highlander films so I know it means decapetated, but couldn't you rather put that instead.
  • Decapitation and beheading actually are synonyms, with beheading carrying a bit more the meaning of murder or assassination which is in my opinion more accurate in this context. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Well, than it is because I'm not a native speaker of English, thanks for the explanation. checkY Check.--Music26/11 15:28, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. In the production section, "In early 1993, Rysher TPE were one of the few international co-producers..." Should a company be refered to as multiple people, I think it should be "was" instead of "were".
  • Good point. That's probably British English showing up (too much CHERUB reading ;). Corrected as you suggested. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. In the production section, "pre-production started in April.." what year, I assume 1993, but can you make it more clear, like "pre-production started in April 1993, and filming in June that same year".--Music26/11 15:28, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Still in the production section "Like the first season, the second one was...", "the second one?" sounds a bit... I don't know... un-encyclopedic. I'd suggest rephrasing it to "Like the first season, Highlander: The Series, Season 2 was..."
  • Hm, I tried to avoid repetition of "season", but maybe it's unavoidable. Rephrased. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Well, you've done a good avoiding it in the rest of the section, so it's not that repetative. checkY Check.--Music26/11 15:28, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Again in the production section. "The executive producers were Bill Panzer, Peter S. Davis, Christian Charret and Gaumont co-production executive Marla Ginsburg." needs a ref.
  • They are mentioned in the credits of each episode and so are self referential and don't need a ref. (or it was so the last time I went to FLC) Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • I didn't knew that, but alright. checkY Check.--Music26/11 15:28, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "Filmline president Nicolas Clermont[6] became the only co-executive producer." why is the ref in the middle of the sentence.
  • Because the reference only applies to the fact that Clermont is president of Filmline, not that he's co-executive producer. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • checkY Check. Not much to add to that.--Music26/11 15:28, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "There were no supervising producers anymore, and Ken Gord replaced Barry Rosen and Gary Goodman as the new producer." why were there no more supervising producers? it also needs a ref. Also, make it seperate sentences, Ken Gord, Barry Rosen and Gary Goodman have nothing to do with the supervising producers.
  • Okay, maybe this sentence is a bit confusing. There are no supervising producers anymore because of the reorganization mentioned in the paragraph above. I put that here because there were two of them in the first season and I thought people would wonder where they'd gone. I'll remove that bit. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "The head writer..", "The executive script editor..", "the regular directors..", "the opening theme was.." these are just a few examples of "the" being really repatative, try some variety, like "... served as executive producers" or "Regular Directors throughout the season were.."
  • You're right, but this paragraph is really just a list in prose, so sometimes it's hard to keep it fresh. Rewritten as suggested, only two "The..." left, to spice it up ;D Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. The image of the vancouver skylight makes the page a lot wider, I'd suggest using the {{Panorama simple}} template.
  • Are you using IE6 ? I know it has that effect, but IE7 and Mozilla are unaffected. Panorama simple doesn't work on Mozilla. It does work, but the bottom of the image is cropped for some reason. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • I've added the the panorama simple template myself, I hope you don't mind. I won't mind to much if it was to be removed, because I checked the article using Firefox where it was automatically cropped. checkY Check.--Music26/11 15:28, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. In the cast section "...Vandernoot returned to make a guest appearance as murderer Lisa Halle in the two-parter season finale "Counterfeit"." needs a ref.
  • Again, she is credited in the episode so this is self referential and doesn't need a ref. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. There's no such thing as a season pilot, I think, there's a season premiere though.
  1. In the reception section, IGN can be unitacalized since it's a website and per WP:ITALICS
  1. Still in the reception section, explain what Charret is, and who Abramowitz is.
  • They are mentioned in the production section above, Charret is executive producer and Abramowitz is creative consultant. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Personally, I think you should refer to them with their full name (and wikilink them if possible) in each seperate section. But that's my opinion.

Furthermore the article looks fine, I hope my comments are usefull.--Music26/11 13:13, 13 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Your comments certainly were useful, and I appreciate your time. Thank you so much for reviewing this list, it is a great help. Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Seriously, great job, the article used to be really awful.--Music26/11 13:14, 13 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
You can say that twice. EEK! ;D Rosenknospe (talk) 09:36, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
You did a great job on the article, and I think it's about ready for FL candidatecy.--Music26/11 15:28, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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