Wikipedia:Peer review/Hurricane Cora (1978)/archive1

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Hurricane Cora (1978)[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because while it's been upgraded to GA, I personally want to know what the article needs for an A-Class listing (if one can be given alongside the GA badge), and, if by some chance it'd last, an FAC run. While I'm only just contemplating FAC, I really want to know what it needs for A first, as I'm aiming one step at a time. I especially want the prose and wording looked into.

Thanks, Hurricane Angel Saki (talk) 07:30, 3 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks decent. At a first glance, I'd love to see more met. history, such as why it maintained such a westerly track at such a low latitude. Actually, I realize you might hate me for this, as it might jeopardize it staying at GA status, but the NHC actually has a whole archive of info on it, namely discussions but also some other fun things to fill out the article. Here is the link. I suggest you trawl through all of that before considering FA status. I was impressed with how much you got for the "Impact, Records, and Naming" section. Keep it up. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:28, 3 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This is interesting, especially because of the material about the balloon and the swim. I see quite a few prose and Manual of Style problems in the text that would certainly prevent the article from FA consideration, and I agree with Hurricane Hink that the content is thin. Even if you only aim for A status, it would be good to make the article as close to comprehensive as possible and to polish the prose and adhere to the Manual of Style as closely as you can. I did not analyze every sentence in the article, but here is a representative list of things that I noticed.

Lead

  • WP:MOS#Chronological items says that dates such as August 7 in the lead are not normally wikilinked. Suggestion: Unlink all of the linked month-day dates and plain months such as August further down in the lead and throughout the main text sections.

Meteorological history

  • "In early August, a disturbance was observed in satellite images moving off the coast of Africa on August 4." - How about "On August 4, satellite images showed a disturbance moving off the coast of Africa." This would change the sentence to active voice and eliminate the repetition of "August".
  • "a forward speed of roughly 20 mph (32 km/h)" - MOS:CONVERSIONS recommends spelling out the main units and abbreviating the secondary units in the imperial–metric conversions. I find the {{convert}} template handy for doing the conversions because it not only does the math but inserts the correct spellings and abbreviations. Here's what this conversion looks like using the template: 20 miles per hour (32 km/h). Further down in this section, the 980 millibars can be converted to inches of mercury like this: 980 millibars (29 inHg). You can force the rounding in this template by adding another parameter with the desired degree of rounding; e.g. |1 or |2. You can force a hyphen with |adj=on. Suggestion: Use the template to make all of the conversions consistent throughout the article.
  • "The hurricane would continue in this direction throughout its lifespan." - It would be better to stick to straight past tense for this event in the past; i.e. "The hurricane continued in this direction throughout its lifespan."
  • "After becoming disorganized, a Hurricane Hunter aircraft... " - The aircraft wasn't disorganized.
  • "The dissipating storm continued on, striking the island... " - Suggestion: "The dissipating storm struck the island... "

Impact, Records, and Naming

  • Suggestion: "Impact, records, and naming" per MOS:HEAD.
  • "While passing through the Lesser Antilles, reports of squalls... " - The reports weren't passing through the Lesser Antilles.

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 20:32, 11 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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