Wikipedia:Peer review/Iraq War in Anbar Province/archive1

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Iraq War in Anbar Province[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm developing this as a WP:FA, and would like some guidance. It has already achieved WP:GA status.

Thanks, Palm_Dogg (talk) 00:33, 1 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: I have not studied the prose of this impressive-looking article, but I have a few general points:-

  • It seems to me that many of the section titles breach MOS requirements expressed in MOS:HEAD, specifically through the frequent use of "The..." and "the" in titles. In some instances the title seems overcomplicated, e.g. "The Marines take over and the Blackwater killings".
 Doing... I just reordered the article by year. I still need to figure out to to rearrange the "Aftermath" section, but am not sure how. Advice is welcome. Palm_Dogg (talk) 16:57, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Likewise, date ranges rendered as "January 2005 – December 2005" rather than "January–December 2005" seem unnecessarily repetitive.
 Fixed Palm_Dogg (talk) 16:57, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Citations appear to be lacking in the following instances:-
    • Latter part of first paragraph of the "The Marines take over..." section
    • Final part of third paragraph of the "First Battle of Fallujah" section
    • Last sentence of first paragraph of "Haditha killings"
    • Last sentence of final paragraph of same section
    • Last sentence of "The MRAPs" section
 Fixed Palm_Dogg (talk) 21:43, 12 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Use of boldings in quotations contrary to WP:BOLDING
 Fixed Palm_Dogg (talk) 16:57, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I appreciate the vast amount of work that has gone into the article, but perhaps 31 images and 14 highlighted quotations is overcrowding the prose? Some of the quotations are no more than decorative soundbites.
 Doing...I tried to trim the fat, but were there any specific ones you had in mind? Palm_Dogg (talk) 16:20, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • What is the purpose of the "See also" links to Diyala campaign and Ninawa campaign?
 Fixed Those were other campaigns in Iraq, but I removed them for clarity. Palm_Dogg (talk) 16:57, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I hope these few comments are helpful. Brianboulton (talk) 00:38, 9 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

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