Wikipedia:Peer review/Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814/archive2

Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because… I'd like to nominate this for Wikipedia:Featured article candidates and I'd like the most critical peer review possible to work it up to FAC presentation.

Thanks, The Bookkeeper (of the Occult) 23:56, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Calvin999

This has been waiting a few weeks without response, so here's some comments from what I found looking at the article.

• Alphabetise the genres in the info box
• Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814 is the fourth studio album by American recording artist Janet Jackson, released on September 19, 1989, by A&M Records. → Long winded. Try: Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814 is the fourth studio album by American recording artist Janet Jackson. It was released on September 19, 1989, by A&M Records.
• Despite label executives desiring → Although label executives wanted
• Collaborating with record producers → Collaborating with musical duo (since they are songwriters and producers)
• for youth because → for youth groups because (I doubt she was a role model for all youth)
• Notable for → Noted for (?)
• Songs range → The songs range
• appeal along multiple → appeal across multiple
• sixfold → six-times
• , among other publications "best of" album lists. → Unless you're going to give an example(s), I'd remove this.
• It has been cited as an influence in various musical trends, inspiring numerous artists. → Such as?
• It is only album → A word is missing here
• For further promotion, → What was the previous promotion in order for this to be further?
• She became regarded → To me, to reads a bit awkward
• She became regarded as a fashion icon, with her "Rhythm Nation" attire being emulated by youth. → What attire?
• producer Jimmy Jam later → Link Jimmy Jam.
• Jimmy Jam stated → Jam stated (Use surname only following the first mention)
• The Background section, I think, is too reliant on long quotations.
• According to Jimmy Jam, → Same here, use Jam
• Actually, make: According to Jimmy Jam, he, Terry Lewis and Jackson → Jam, Lewis and Jackson
• Prior its recording, → Missing word
• sixfold platinum → six-times platinum
• The first two paragraphs of Release and commercial performance should remain as so. But the following paragraphs discussing the singles should be in their own section called Singles
• You start Composition and production, Release and commercial performance and Critical reception with "The album"
• Elizabeth the Queen Mother → Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother
• Rhythm Nation World Tour 1990 is far too detailed. It should be one, perhaps two, paragraphs at the very most. There's no point having a Main article tag if this much info is being used.
• In the Accolades section, you either have prose or a table, not both, as it's repeating the same thing.
• The Organization column should be marked up for access (shaded grey) and I would rename it to Ceremony. I don't think magazine ranks should be included here, they aren't 'awards' as such.
• Tables like this should also go at the bottom of an article, with the others.
• All songs except interludes and "Black Cat" are co-produced by Janet Jackson. → A bit irrelevant.
• United Kingdom Albums → UK Albums Chart
• There doesn't seem to be many charts?

I'm actually going to buy this album now, I want to listen to it after reading this. Please ping me if you have any comments of questions. Hope this helps.  — Calvin999 15:48, 25 August 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for the notes. I hope to continue editing the article over the weekend. The Bookkeeper (of the Occult) 14:03, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

You're welcome. I actually bought this album yesterday.  — Calvin999 15:24, 28 August 2015 (UTC)