Wikipedia:Peer review/Jerry Voorhis/archive1

Jerry Voorhis

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I intend to nominate it for FA and I'd like feedback

Thanks, Wehwalt (talk) 14:25, 19 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: Another excellent report from the wider shores of the Nixonapolis. I have only a few comments:-

"Voorhis" is an unusual name. Would it be possible to say something about its origin, which I imagine would be Dutch?
Excuse my ignorance, but what is a "receiving clerk", and why would Voorhis have to hire a room to be one?
You say he "soon married". It would help if at least the year was given, to assist with the overall chronology.
The Voorhis School for Boys disappears rather quickly from the article. Would it be possible to add a sentence summarising its later history, like when it closed down?
In the Record and campaigns section you have: "Voorhis' 12th district leaned Republican..." followed soon after by "Despite the Republican leanings of his district..." A slight rephrasing would avoid this repetition.
The story about Voorhis introducing his opponent to the crowd needs a citation
Years ago as a politics student I read a copy of Voorhis' Nixon book. I seem to remember that during the 1946 campaign, Nixon claimed that Voorhis' Congressional voting record was identical to that of Vito Marcantonio, the communist (?) congressman from New York. Is this so, and if so, worth commenting on?
Could the "bibliography" be renamed "Further reading" to avoid confusion with cited sources? Also, Voorhis' Nixon book shouldn't be listed here as well as with the sources.

That's it, really. (Still think you should do Dick Tuck, though) Brianboulton (talk) 11:43, 25 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. My responses:

Being originally from North Jersey, which has a Dutch influence on place names (including Voorhees), it didn't sound odd to me, but you are right. I will see if I can lay my hands on a copy of Jerry's biography of his grandfather, and see if it includes any interesting info on that.
Receiving clerk checks stuff coming in, kinda the opposite of a shipping clerk. I'll see if I can be more clear once I am home in 8 days and lay my hands on my copy of Bullock. Voorhis was living in University housing, and since he was graduating and staying on to work in New Haven, had to find housing.
Will check Bullock for year of marriage.
They shut it down and donated the land and buildings to Cal Poly-Pomona, I think, will doublecheck. Some of the buildings still stand. The farmland is a nature reserve named for the Voorhises.
Attribution on the "shy" is the same as the following sentence, but I will add.
It's not a very good book, is it! I gave up about a third of the way through and just skimmed it, looking for the good stuff. Lot of hate there. Yes, though Marcantonio was by comparison a minor issue. One of Nixon's backers caused editorials to be put in local papers about a week before the election, calling Marcantonio a Communist and saying Voorhis was closely associated with him. Nothing compared to what would go on in the Nixon/Douglas Senate race four years later, where both sides were slinging it. Remember that Voorhis had been given a martyr's crown by then as the first victim of Nixon, and that everything was seen through the prism of the Nixon/Douglas race. I'll drop in a comment. I'm afraid of going overboard on the 1946 race, even though that is very likely what the reader will want to read.
I'll do the renaming.
Thanks again. I'll consider Tuck if I can find some good refs that separate fact from legend on him. I'll look at the LATimes archives. Next from Nixonland is Checkers speech which is now at GAN, then I'll probably wrap that up, though I'm considering doing a from-scratch article on the 1950 Senate race, but I don't have all the references yet. The way I look at it, if I have Chotiner at FA and Voorhis just about ready for FAC, without a single complaint about POV, I must be doing something right! Once Franklin Knight Lane clears off of FAC, I'll probably nom this next, then the puppy dog after that.--Wehwalt (talk) 12:21, 26 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A few things more as I close this peer review. I see Karanacs has been looking at the Lane article, meaning it may well be promoted shortly and this is next up:

I've added details re Voorhis' marriage. Voorhis, as quoted in the Bullock book, described his job as a receiving clerk in a late life interview as keeping track of everything that came into the building, buy any means including the mails, and he described it as a lot of responsiblity for someone his age.
I'll reserve the Marcantonio bit for the article on the 1946 election I have started.
I've consulted with the people at Cal Poly-Pomona on the fate of the Voorhis campus. They say it is now owned by a Buddhist organization, and that Voorhis' son is very pleased by that, because that particular organization has goals similar to Voorhis' views (not the religious aspects). They wee kind enough to give me the address in San Dimas. I will likely be going to California sometime this summer and will try to visit there and get a photo or two of the original buildings if they are still extant.--Wehwalt (talk) 19:44, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]