Wikipedia:Peer review/Joey Hamilton/archive2

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Joey Hamilton[edit]

Previous peer review
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's currently a GA and after a peer review and an additional review it failed an FAC. After which it underwent another review on the talk page. However, I'd like to request another review (mainly on copyediting) before I bring it to FAC again. Thanks,--Giants27(c|s) 21:38, 26 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]


Comments by 66.213.50.2 (talk) 16
13, 10 October 2009 (UTC)

Your lead looks great. All your references are formatted correctly and the links still work. I didn't see any contractions (outside of the one that was in a quote). I really like the custom made table you have instead of a generic infobox. I think for this particular article it works better. I also liked how all of the information presented was in chronological order with "After baseball" at the end. The last section serves as a good conclusion for the article. While copyediting, I found the following mistakes:

  • "As a rookie with the San Diego in 1994 he was fifth in the Major League Baseball Rookie of the Year Award voting for the National League." - need to add Padres.
  • "Basically, he lied to us. We had no idea. That's why half the time, you don't know who he represents. He's (Scott Boras) very good at that. His clients are very good about keeping their mouths shut." - When quoting someone while trying to explain to the reader who or what that someone is talking about, you should put the informative material in brackets like this --> "Basically, he lied to us. We had no idea. That's why half the time, you don't know who he represents. [Scott Boras] is very good at that. His clients are very good about keeping their mouths shut." Click here for the wikipedia policy on quotes.
  • "Hamilton suffered a shoulder injury which was described as an inflammation of the rotator cuff and bursa sac, forced Hamilton onto the disabled list during the 1997 season." - Consider this --> "Hamilton suffered a shoulder injury which was described as an inflammation of the rotator cuff and bursa sac. This injury forced Hamilton onto the disabled list during the 1997 season."
  • "At the conclusion of the 2002 season, he was offered arbitration by the Reds along with Jose Rijo, which both rejected in mid-December, meaning the Reds could not sign them until May 1, 2003." - I had to read this a couple times to figure out what the sentence meant. I think it would be clearer if you added "they" like so --> At the conclusion of the 2002 season, he was offered arbitration by the Reds along with Jose Rijo, which they both rejected in mid-December, meaning the Reds could not sign them until May 1, 2003.
  • "Since he had not pitched in a professional game for five years, Hamilton became eligible for election into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2009 but for the first year was only listed as a write-in candidate.'" Consider this --> Since he had not pitched in a professional game for five years, Hamilton became eligible for election into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2009 but for the first year he was only listed as a write-in candidate.

Those are my thoughts. Great job so far. 66.213.50.2 (talk) 16:13, 10 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, is there anything else you noticed in the article?--Giants27(c|s) 17:21, 10 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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