Wikipedia:Peer review/Kenhardt, Northern Cape/archive1

Kenhardt, Northern Cape

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to know in which areas to improve it. Any comments are welcome.

Thanks, LouriePieterse 08:55, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting start, but this needs a lot of work, so here are some suggestions for improvement. This is so short that there is not a lot to say about it.

• Current lead is two sentences and should be expanded. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - see WP:LEAD
• The lead image strikes me as odd - it is of a farm, but I do not recognize anything that looks like cultivated crops or even animals grazing. Is it more like a ranch?
• Article needs more references, for example neither the Geography nor the Activities sections have any refs now. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
• Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• Make sure that the refs that are used meet WP:RS - refs 2 and 3 do not look especially reliable.
• The language needs to be much more encyclopedic - do not use "you" in things like If you travel south from Kenhardt towards Brandvlei, you will pass through a huge landscape of nothingness for the next 200 km and more.
• Much of the article reads like an advertisemnent and needs to be written in a more neutral style
• Units need to be given in both metric and English - the {{convert}} template is very useful here.
• Much information seems to be missing - what is the approximate population? What was the history besides 1868 and 1909?
• There are many city articles that are FA that would be good models to follow for ideas and examples to follow

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:22, 22 October 2009 (UTC)