Wikipedia:Peer review/Keratosis pilaris/archive1

Keratosis pilaris[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for November 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to know how I can improve this to GA status. I would appreciate any input on the "flow" and conciseness of this article. Do I need more details or information in a particular section? Also, how can I insert pictures?

Thanks, Sleepless dreamer (talk) 04:14, 18 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement.

Expand the lead per WP:LEAD to two or possibly three paragraphs. Nothing important should be in the lead only (like acne) - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way.
There are several short (one or two sentence) paragraphs which break up the flow of the article. These should be combined with others, or perhaps expanded.
The article is pretty short, while length is not a criterion for GA (see WP:WIAGA), making sure it is broad in its coverage is, and the length may reflect a lack of broadness.
This needs a ref: Although it may clear up with treatment, reccurance of KP is very likely. Therefore, treatment should be continued regularly. It may take several months to years for the condition to completely clear up
The references could be cleaned up a bit - if the exact same ref is used repeatedly, you can use <ref name = "blah">Reference Blah</ref>, then next time you only need to put in <ref name = "blah"/> and the same ref will be used again.
The last sentence on diagnosis seems out of place in the Treatment section
A model article is useful for ideas on structure and examples to follow - there are many possible model FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Health_and_medicine

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:15, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]