Wikipedia:Peer review/Kicks (song)/archive1

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Kicks (song)[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I plan to eventually nominate this for GA status, but would greatly appreciate some assistance first. I'm open to any suggestions for improvement in regards to the article's content, grammar, style, or other areas that need attention.

Thanks, Gongshow 19:21, 14 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: Not a lot to say, really. By my reckoning this should gain GA status fairly easily, as it is well-written and appears to cover the subject fully, in a neutral fashion. I have several nitpicks with the prose:-

  • Background and composition: "The song contained..." Present tense should be kept, therefore "contains"
  • Release and reception
    • For consistency and per MOS, "fourteen" should be 14
    • 500,000 copies - non-breaking space per WP:NBSP
    • "It was the highest-charting U.S. hit to date for Paul Revere & the Raiders, eclipsed only by 1971's Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)." Couple of suggestions: "to that date" instead of "to date", and "later eclipsed" rather than "eclipsed".
    • Some censors" needs a bit of explanation; who were they, what was their field of activity, what were their powers? I would expect something briefly like: "Broadcasts were then subject to censorship; some censors, ..." etc (if indeed this was the situation)
      •  Done. Clarified with sentence added. Gongshow 16:14, 29 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Ambiguous phrasing: "...one his favorite works that Terry Melcher produced." I assume the meaning is one of his favorites of Terry Melcher's works, and the wording should more clearly reflect this.
  • Other versions: "Surf rock group The Challengers covered the song..." My ignorance, but what does "covered the song" mean?
    •  Done. Clarified meaning of "cover" with link in previous sentence. Gongshow 16:14, 29 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That's about all I can find. I shall not be watching this article (too many on the list already) so if you want to query something or want me to look again, please call my talkpage. Brianboulton (talk) 18:49, 28 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you so much for the suggestions. Gongshow 16:14, 29 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]