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Wikipedia:Peer review/L. Ron Hubbard/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because it was recently declined for Good Article status and our reviewer, at a loss for precise suggestions to improve the article, recommended peer review. We could use brainstorming for ways to improve the article.

Thanks, Feoffer (talk) 23:36, 5 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Z1720

[edit]

Comments after a quick skim:

  • "They retrieved wiretap equipment, burglary tools and some 90,000 pages of incriminating documents." This, and the subsequent sentences, need citations Done
  • "Hubbard claimed to have been the youngest Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts history, but in fact the organization kept no records of the ages of Eagle Scouts." Needs a citation  Done
  • "Prior to the episode, the story was almost completely unknown in mainstream culture." Needs a citation  Done
  • "The film depicts a Navy washout with psychological issues who is unable to hold down steady employment after the war. Facing potential legal troubles, he flees California by stowing away on a ship captained by self-proclaimed nuclear physicist and philosopher Lancaster Dodd, leader of a movement called "The Cause"." Needs a citation  Done
  • "The birth of Hubbard's second daughter Alexis Valerie, delivered by Winter on March 8, 1950, came in the middle of the preparations to launch Dianetics." Needs a citation  Done
  • There are references that are just quotes, without any citation to where the quote came from. I suggest removing these quotes and citing the source instead. The reader can look up the information later if they want.  Done Quotes now properly formatted with explicit sourcing
  • I'm not a fan of block quotes in articles, as I feel that the information should be summarised for the leader instead. Consider if they are truly needed for the article or if they can be removed.
  • Page size is a little bit of a problem. At 158,000 bytes its over the recommended length at WP:SIZERULE. I would take another readthrough of the article and remove any information that is not directly related to Hubbard or not the most important.

That's all I have for now. I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 20:13, 16 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Z1720, thanks for the feedback, I'll get on it. What tool did you use to calculate page size? The Wikipedia:Prosesize gadget reports: Prose size (text only): 58 kB (9328 words) "readable prose size". Feoffer (talk) 23:15, 16 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, I've addressed the specific critiques. Per above, I'm not sure that page size is actually a problem. Feoffer (talk) 02:16, 19 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]