Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Awake episodes/archive1

List of Awake episodes

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to see it at FL.

Thanks, TBrandley 04:51, 17 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• A good start, will be good for FLC soon I think.
  • Thanks.
• "In one reality, his wife Hannah Britten (Laura Allen) was killed in the crash, where he wears a green wrist band" I think perhaps "In one reality, in which he wears a green wrist band, his wife... The other reality, in which he wears a red..."
  •  Done
• "It aired its last episode " just "The last episode aired..." is fine.
  •  Done
• " after it was canceled after eleven of " avoid quick reptition of "after"
  •  Done
• You talk about the series conception after you talk about its air details. This seems counter-intuitive to me.
  •  Done
• "its script was cited as potentially being too complex for mainstream American television." ref?
  •  Done
• "had averaged only 4.8 million " no real need for "only".
  •  Done
• "were particularly praised. Various cast members were praised, particularly " repetitive.
  •  Done
• Lead says first episode originally aired on NBC but makes no mention of the online premiere which took place a month earlier.
  •  Done
• Lead has "green reality" but summaries have "green" reality. Be consistent.
  •  Done. Also with the "red reality" too.
• "Hannah is finding comfort " finds comfort (to avoid the old ...ing ....ing issue).
  •  Done
• "himself preparing to have a new " preparing for a new life?
  •  Done
• Episode 13 summary is too brief.
  •  Done

The Rambling Man (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2012 (UTC)

Thank you for PR review. I think I have fixed most issues. TBrandley 09:37, 2 July 2012 (UTC)