Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Plymouth Argyle F.C. managers/archive1

List of Plymouth Argyle F.C. managers

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe it is close to FL standard. I've put in alot of extra work in the last day to bring it up to the standard of articles like List of Bristol Rovers F.C. managers and List of York City F.C. managers. I'd like to know if its lacking anything. I've included a history section so there is a possibility I might have overlinked or used the same words too often. Any feedback will be appreciated.

Thank you for your time. Argyle 4 Life (talk) 06:59, 7 March 2010 (UTC)

File:Dave Smith (footballer) manager.jpg is missing a Fair Use Rationale for this article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 14:08, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

Thats a shame, Dave is well thought of here. I've replaced him with Shilts. Argyle 4 Life (talk) 05:49, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

You could have left the image in, you just needed to add a FUR for this specific article..... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 09:42, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

Ah well, its done now. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not 100% savvy when it comes to image use on Wikipedia. Argyle 4 Life (talk) 11:19, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

• Comments from Cliftonian (talk · contribs)...
  • "Plymouth Argyle Football Club are" → is. Use "are" when referring to the team (as in the players, for example: "Plymouth Argyle are an inferior side compared to Luton Town"), but "is" when referring to the club ("Plymouth Argyle is a better run club than Luton Town"). Only use "are" after a proper noun, in the form I have given above, referring to the team of players. In all other forms, use "is". Your lead is conflicting on this point and this makes it sound awkward. Just be consistent, whatever you do here; but I find that what I've suggested reads best.
  • Why is the committee's nationality given as "United Kingdom"? I'd leave it blank, personally.
  • Promotion isn't an honour, it's an achievement.
  • You may get some trouble over Greens on Screen at FLC; I'd let it pass, but I know many wouldn't without a lot of backing up – just a warning.
  • I've just cast my eyes over the "history" prose; it's entertaining, but a little bit POV for some peoples' liking, I fear – It reads like a fansite in places. Try to tone down phrases such as "However, the team and all the work that had gone into it was undoubtedly the work of Sturrock", "he proved to be an immediate hit" and "Highly-respected administrator". A trick I used a lot in my Luton Town articles and lists was to use the books at my disposal to find phrases such as these and quote them from the text: for example, if one of your books describes Frank Brettell as a "highly-respected administrator", you can quote it and use it here with no problems. I remember having a great deal of hardship trying to describe one of our old owners, John Gurney, without sounding POV – in the end I had to quote the word "controversial" from the BBC!
• Well, Hope these help. God bless. – Cliftonian^{the orangey bit} 21:13, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback, I'll get to work on it during the next couple of days. Regarding a couple of issues; you're right about Greens on Screen. I hastily listed the Player of the Year article a while ago and its major sticking points was that website. I couldn't ignore it because its a fantastic resource but I can understand why it would be questioned as a reliable source. I have a few references about it that have been listed on When Saturday Comes, but I'm not sure whether I'll keep it or just reference it all to a couple of books that I now have.

I tried to keep the "History" section as neutral as I could, but it doesn't surprise me that a few journalistic phrases crept in occasionally. I'll have a gander at my books, see what I can find and replace certain parts. One more thing, the first example you gave is a blatent lie! ;) And the second isn't all that true (we posted a loss of £2.8m last year because of terrible signings - speaking of which, would Luton be interested in Steven MacLean and Simon Walton? They're very under-rated *whistle smiley*).

Cheers. Argyle 4 Life (talk) 17:48, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

• I think you know as well as I do that those examples were not so much tongue-in-cheek as in-the-next-country! ;) – Cliftonian^{the orangey bit} 19:23, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

I've been carrying out some work in one of my sandboxes, clearing up referencing issues mainly and better presentation, but I haven't had a crack at the history section yet. My laptop's hard disc is close to being written off, so I dare not work much on a large body of writing because it could easily crash and I'd have to start again. I've bought a new computer though, so once I've got that up and running I can focus on it properly. Argyle 4 Life (talk) 08:45, 24 March 2010 (UTC)