Wikipedia:Peer review/List of bow tie wearers/archive1

List of bow tie wearers

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like it to be a featured list candidate but current participation at the article is a bit thin. Having another viewpoint on the article would be extremely helpful in this process.

Thanks, ~TPW 20:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

• Comments from Cliftonian (talk · contribs)
• I may be better known for my football work, but I am an old hand when it comes to lists and FLC and so am weighing in with some suggestions.
  • First things first: The first sentence is non-engaging and rather confused. I would start with the paragraph starting "Bow tie wearing can be a notable characteristic for an individual." and move the New York Times quote to the bottom of the lead.
  • "Those who write about bow ties often mention famous people who wear or have worn them. These writers often make the point that the image conveyed to others by a bow tie can be affected by associations with celebrities and famous people in the past." Some in-line citations would help this a lot – as it is, it doesn't really work.
  • There are a lot of places throughout the first few sections where events are referred to with no context. Try to provide times and dates when possible. For example "Beau Ties Ltd., an online bow tie seller, has featured a "C. Everett Koop" bow tie complete with an endorsement by Koop, U.S. surgeon general in the Reagan administration."
  • The list itself seems fine and well-done, though I would provide some sort of criteria for inclusion as this can be a very hard obstacle to overcome. Do you have any sort of third-party list of notable bow tie wearers you can refer to? This could be helpful.
• Good luck pal, and God bless. – Cliftonian^{the orangey bit} 17:20, 22 March 2010 (UTC)