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Wikipedia:Peer review/Murder of Jesse Dirkhising

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Jesse Dirkhising[edit]

This article needs to be cleaned up for POV and ideas are needed for expansion. External links and citations from non POV sources are needed as well. It's difficult to find the same info anymore from non POV sites. --Strothra 03:34, 17 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Right off the bat I notice that the first sentence doesn't mention that he was killed, while the second sentence uses the noun "murderers." This conveys the meaning, but is very awkward for the reader. Themillofkeytone 06:22, 17 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

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