Wikipedia:Peer review/Oklahoma City bombing/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Oklahoma City bombing[edit]

This is my first peer review and I would like to know what needs to be fixed in the article to help it reach FA status. It is currently in GAC right now behind a large backlog. Over the last few weeks I have scoured the Internet and found large amounts of information in a related book. I'm open to any suggestions to improve the article in an attempt to get this to FA, hopefully in time of the anniversary of the bombing. Thank you in advance for your time and effort. --Nehrams2020 01:02, 14 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Is it reasonable to include a section with the names of all of the victims (168 total) in a side bar similar to Columbine High School massacre? --Nehrams2020 00:46, 16 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

2nd attempt July 11, 2007[edit]

I didn't receive any feedback the last attempt except for the automated peer review suggestions. The article has become a Good Article, but I would like to know what it needs before it goes to FAC. --Nehrams2020 21:53, 11 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Just 90 minutes after the explosion" is too journalistic in style, just state the facts.
Changed to "shortly after the explosion".
  • Needs to summarise the main points in the article, looking at the headings, it appears that the "response and relief" section isn't summarised here.
  • The statement "Except where noted, all statements in this section are sourced from the book American Terrorist." would be best as a footnote or as part of the first reference in this section.
Converted to note.
  • "After finishing the configuration" maybe "construction" would be a better word.
Changed
  • Not clear from the text how the VIN number linked McVeigh to the bombing, since he used an alias and false ID to rent the truck.
  • The sentence "The missing leg appears to have been a sort of "clerical" error, but nothing after 1996 could be found about it" is unclear and confusing.
  • "(Michel & Herbeck 234)" should be moved to references if this is what it is. These also need to be moved from (Giordano 34), (Linenthal 140), (Linenthal 142-44) and (Michel & Herbeck 249) in later sections.
  • Reference 38 would be best using the Template: Cite journal.
  • The "see also" link seems unnecessary if there is no evidence to link this man to the crime. This link could also have libel issues, I'd strongly recommend removing it.
Removed the link and his name from the See Also section.
  • In the "See also" section, there are serious legal problems with linking living people with this crime.
Removed the majority of the names.
  • The image Image:OkcW.jpg may need a fair-use rationale.
The license appears to have changed from several months ago, but I'll add one.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Peer_review/Oklahoma_City_bombing/archive1&oldid=144227973"