Wikipedia:Peer review/Palsgraf v. Long Island Railroad Co./archive1

Palsgraf v. Long Island Railroad Co.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because… I'd appreciate some feedback on the article for this iconic (to lawyers) case.

Thanks, Wehwalt (talk) 06:03, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GregJackP

General comments

Although not required, I would consider following the style guide from WP:SCOTUS/SG - I know that this is not a SCOTUS case, but it is the highest appellate court in New York and I believe that the style would lend itself to this article.

Also, I'm not a great copy-editor, I would recommend getting someone who knows what they are doing to look at the actual prose. GregJackP Boomer! 03:24, 10 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

You may want to split the second sentence into two sentences, one on the court and the other on Justice Cardozo. GregJackP Boomer! 03:24, 10 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Background

I would make "Facts" and "Procedural history" subsections under a "Background" section.
You probably need to clarify that in NY, the Supreme Court is a trial level court at its first mention, rather than later in the paragraph. A note should be sufficient.

I'll follow with more later. GregJackP Boomer! 03:24, 10 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I've done those things, with some slight variation on the format. Thank you.--Wehwalt (talk) 06:18, 10 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

((u|GregJackP}}, as my slot at FAC has become open, I've moved this over there. You'd be very welcome to comment over there as you see fit.