Wikipedia:Peer review/Paul Bako/archive1

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Paul Bako[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have done a lot of hard work on it. For a player that has a relatively minor amount of coverage (Bako is no Babe or Albert Pujols), I think it is well-written, comprehensive, and fully referenced. I would appreciate reviewers giving input; my eventual plan for this article is GA. I don't know where else I could expand it (I don't have any info beyond what I've included), but I'd like outside opinion. Thanks in advance. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 17:03, 22 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This reads well, is stable, neutral, well-illustrated, and sourced. I think it could be considered broad in coverage if you expanded the 2005–2009 section to include the 2009 World Series and expanded the "Personal" section to include more details about family, hobbies, pets, work for charities, or anything else you can find that would flesh out his non-baseball bio.

  • The link checker tool in the upper right of this review finds two dead links.
  • The images need alt text for readers who can't see the images. WP:ALT explains how to write alt text and where to put it.
  • I know how to do this; I just get lazy sometimes when I'm not doing FL work. Done now. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 00:20, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • Bako is an example of the term "journeyman" - He isn't an example of a term; he's an example of a journeyman. I think "Bako is an example of a baseball "journeyman" would be better.
  • Since the lead is to be a summary of the entire article, it would be good to at least mention the high school and college subsection and the minor league subsection and the personal section, especially after you expand it.

High school and college

  • "Bako led the Ragin' Cajuns to two consecutive conference championships... " - How exactly did he do this? Was he a catcher? Did he have a good batting average? Did he drive in a lot of runs? Was he a good mentor for younger players?
  • He was a catcher; always has been. I clarified this as best I could and added some more detail about the seasons. I couldn't find any statistical sources for the 1991/92 baseball teams, though I'm still looking. Almost every player on the Ragin' Cajuns' athletic network website has a page about them, but of course, just my luck: Bako doesn't. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 00:50, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Minor leagues

  • "Brett Tomko, who played with Bako in 1996 and 1997, recalled a mound conversation with him in 2006" - This is a bit confusing because the mound conversation must have happened in 1996 or 1997 rather than in 2006. Also, which team were they both playing for? A better sentence might be: "Brett Tomko, who played with Bako in 1996 and 1997 as members of the XXXXXX, recalled one of their mound conversations."
  • "recalled a mound conversation with him" - Wikilink mound?
  • Wikipedia's generally conservative when it comes to bolding. (See WP:MOSBOLD for details). For this reason, I'd suggest using italics or even plain type for the speakers' names in the mound dialogue.

2005–2009

  • Blockquotes are used for quotations of at least four lines. The ones in this section are only two lines long on my screen. I'd suggest simply embedding them in the text inside ordinary quotation marks. MOS:QUOTE has details.
  • Since the Phillies are in the World Series, this section would seem to be incomplete. Has Bako played any games in the playoffs? Will you add more data in a couple of weeks?
  • Bako has not participated in the playoffs, which is why I haven't added any data. I was going to wait until the playoffs were complete and then add a statement regarding the outcome (whether he was a member of the World Series-winning team or just the pennant winner, etc.).

Personal

  • This section cries out for expansion. Is Bako married? Does he have children? Does his mother come to watch him play? Does he have interests outside of baseball? Is there a Bako fan club? Can you find any published interviews with Bako? (I Googled "Bako wife" and immediately learned from a Phillies bio of Bako here that he has a wife, Laurie, a daughter, Abbey, and a son, Will). Maybe the Philadelphia Inquirer has run stories about Bako.
  • I have scrutinized Google News and Google Books to see if I can find further information; I haven't been able to locate any. Backup catchers just don't seem to get any press... KV5 (Talk • Phils) 23:58, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 22:39, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Waiting until the World Series is over to add a further statement of some kind sounds good. For the "Personal" section, you could at least use the family info from the Phillies site. I don't know if it's possible to find more from any reliable source; you just have to go with the best data you can find. Finetooth (talk) 02:39, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I have done so. I do appreciate your comments; they were very helpful. If you find anything else, please let me know. Otherwise, I will likely close this peer review and move to a GA nomination within the next week or so. Thanks. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 21:27, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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