Wikipedia:Peer review/Phi Sigma Alpha/archive1

Phi Sigma Alpha[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have worked in it for quite a wile now and I would like to know any improvements that can be made to it.

Thanks, El Johnson (talk) 00:39, 13 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, here are some suggestions for improvement.

The lead does not meet WP:LEAD and needs to be expanded so it is an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but the article is mostly about the history.
The article uses bold text where it should not - generally it is only for alternate names in the lead, see WP:ITALIC
My Spanish is not very good, but the History section seems to be copied (and translated) from the official website. It is good to use reliable websites, but you have to put things into your own words - see WP:Plagiarism
Article needs more wikilinks - for example Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and Troy, New York could be linked.
When using abbreviations, make sure to give the abbreviation in parentheses after the first use, so "Phi Lambda Alpha (ΦΛA)", for example
The image licenses may be problematic too - for example File:Fundadoressigma.jpg is dated 1928, so it is still copyrighted under US law. I strongly doubt you took the photograph and thus are not the copyright holder. It might be able to be included as a WP:FAIR USE image, see also WP:COPYVIO
Lists of notable people usually only include people who already have articles on Wikipedia and thus meet the criteria for notability
See also is generally for articles that have not been mentioned in the article already
A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - Alpha Kappa Alpha and Alpha Phi Alpha are both featured articles and seem like they might be useful models.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch poeer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:09, 21 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]