Wikipedia:Peer review/Royal National College for the Blind/archive1

Royal National College for the Blind

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to get it up to featured article status and would like to know what changes/improvements it might need. My plan is to get it ready for consideration either for the World Blind Football Championships in August, or the 2012 Paralympic Games, both events in which the college has a role.

Thanks, Paul Largo (talk) 21:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: I haven't had time to check out the prose, but here are a couple of issues that require attention

• Lead citations: there are 16 citations in the lead, all of which appear to be repeats of citations that occur in the main text. If material is cited in the text it should not be cited separately in the lead. My view is that since everything in the lead should be reflected or expanded upon in the text, the lead needs no citations at all.
• Reference formats
  • A good many of your on-line sources are unformatted bare urls. All references should minimally contain title, publisher and last access date.
  • I assume that the Ann Lee references are to articles in New Beacon. The article titles should be given.

Also, from a glance I saw "principles" in the lead instead of "principals". And the geographical coordinates of the college appear twice, once in the infobox and once above it. While such coordinates might be useful in articles dealing with remote corners of the world, for towns in heavily populated areas they are completely pointless. I suggest knock both of them out.

If I can find time, I'll try and make some comments on the prose. Brianboulton (talk) 13:10, 24 January 2010 (UTC)