Wikipedia:Peer review/Rushmore (film)/archive1

Rushmore (film)

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have put a lot of work into this article and, aside from beefing up the lead paragraph, I would welcome any comments and/or suggestions on how to improve it so that I can get to GA status.

Thanks, J.D. (talk) 21:11, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Casliber

OK, I will post some notes below. My time is limited at the moment but I am an anderson fan so thought I'd help out: Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:32, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

• Max's cocksure attitude - maybe cocksure is a bit too vernacular for an encyclopedia...

• Watch for over-repetition of words, eg "Max" in plot section. See if you can get rid of a few without losing meaning.

• "One of the things that was most appealing to us was the initial idea of a 15-year-old kid and a 50-year-old man becoming friends and equals" - can be reworded not as direct quote. Should be easy to do, a bit jarring for flow as is. There are some others as well.

I saw the stuff on the talk page - it would be great to be able to source some of these. I am fascinated how influences go back and forth in pop culture. Also, if the DVD had alternate ending or deleted/alternative scenes, they would be good to discuss. Anderson is always so polished and detailed and thorough, even minor changes in his films are fascinating.

As it is, the article might pass GA, I think it is on the way to FA but needs some more 'depth' if there is any out there. Any more insights from reviewers on aspects, or legacy etc. reading it, it is very concise in some way. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:32, 15 December 2008 (UTC)