Wikipedia:Peer review/Sentimiento (album)/archive1

Sentimiento (album)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I would like to get Sentimiento to GA status. I greatly appreciate any reviews.

Thanks, DivaKnockouts (talk) 01:53, 14 July 2012 (UTC)

Comments:

• "songs that did not include Ivy Queen on them": Better to put a period after this sentence instead of a comma. Begin a new sentence with what follows.

• "having guest artist": "artists" (plural)

• "did not include herself on them": Remove "on them"

• I don't get why having songs where she was not included told listeners "we have all loved at least once in our lives". This doesn't really follow for me. Perhaps we could put in some additional explanation.

• "the platinum edition of Sentimiento, or as stylized by Ivy Queen Sentimiento Remix" --> "the platinum edition of Sentimiento, stylized by Ivy Queen as Sentimiento Remix"

• "the Top Latin Album chart at number 4": "the" needs to be capitalized. And I'm not sure what this means...there's no verb.

• "Becoming her fastest-selling album, Sentimiento received a platinum certification" --> "Sentimento became her fastest-selling album and received a platinum certification"

• "and the title track": Period after this and a new sentence with what follows.

• "and was only able to chart on the Bilboard Dance/Club Play Songs chart at No. 44.": "and" should be capitalized, because this is a new sentence, but there appears to be some mixed-up prose here. Might consider rephrasing.

• " before switching" --> "before she switched"

• The "Background" section is almost entirely uncited. It should have inline citations throughout; they're mandatory after the quotes.

• "After the divorce from her husband" --> "After divorcing her husband"

• "romantically."": Stray quotation mark here.

• ""I want people to listen to my growth as an artist and as a woman, I want people listening to my album to feel this growth." Doesn't need to be a blockquote, and should be cited.

• Same with the next blockquote: "They (men) also suffer. They also cry. I'm going through the feeling of growth. It's time to be myself. Sometimes women believe that we must always be with a man and forget about us. So we blame them if the relationship fails."

• "She says it affected the Sentimiento": Remove "the"

• There's a stray quotation mark in the final blockquote of the Background section. It also needs a citation and some sort of attribution.

• The "Recording and production" section is entirely uncited.

• "Release and promotion" also has no citations.

• Not sure what "(Latin field)" means. Best explain this further.

• "it marks the first time": "it marked ..." etc.

• "Composition" also needs citations.

• This is a good start, but I think you'll need to address some of the issues with the language and citations before it's ready for GA status. Fix these and you'll be well on the way. You might also consider including more information about its reception and background, which relies almost entirely on quotes from Queen. I hope this helps.--Batard0 (talk) 17:09, 23 July 2012 (UTC)