Wikipedia:Peer review/Spirit Fruit Society/archive1

Spirit Fruit Society[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am particularly fond of this article and would eventually like to see it go to Featured Article status. Passed GA in January 2012 and I am interested to know generally and specifically what the weaknesses are so I can improve the article.

The Spirit Fruit Society (don't be put off by the name!) was a commune founded in 1899 and is said to be one of the most successful and longest-lived groups of its kind. I find it an interesting topic, I hope others do as well!

Thanks, Wikipelli ^Talk 10:49, 15 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

comment: There were comments left on the article's talk page, which I appreciate greatly! I'd be very pleased to have any other comments as well! Thanks! Wikipelli ^Talk 12:57, 30 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Lead seems a little heavy, four paras for a short article, check out WP:LEAD.
"existed longer and more successfully than any other American utopian group.[1]" some claim. You source it to one book. Is there any other evidence that this claim is true?

Doing... Re: the first two bullets: I've reduced the lede to 2 paras. Started a section at the end (don't like the name, though, "Success of the society" Suggestions? I'd like a 'post-mortem'-like section where the success in retrospect could be examined. Wikipelli ^Talk 17:35, 4 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

On a vaguely related note, I don't see refs in the lead in most FAs these days, they tend to expand upon the lead in the main part of the article and ref stuff there.

Fixed I agree. I prefer not to have refs in the lede. Took them out except one since there was a direct quote. I felt uneasy taking that one out. Wikipelli ^Talk 17:35, 4 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Direct quote must be cited per WP:LEADCITE

Not sure soul needs to be linked.

Fixed Unlinked Wikipelli ^Talk 17:35, 4 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"The Ottawa Free Trader -. 27 November 1908" odd space/hyphen combo here.

Fixed typo Wikipelli ^Talk 17:35, 4 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Shouldn't the further reading work titles be in italics?

~~will check and fix Wikipelli ^Talk 17:35, 4 June 2012 (UTC)~~[reply]

Fixed

"Full text at Internet Archive (archive.org)" well that's why we have archiveurl as part of our {{cite web}} template, so fix that.

~~Checking on that, too... Wikipelli ^Talk 17:35, 4 June 2012 (UTC)~~[reply]

Fixed

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:50, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for the input! I appreciate it... Wikipelli ^Talk 21:07, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]