Jump to content

Wikipedia:Peer review/St Scholastica Day riot/archive1

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A forgotten footnote to a footnote in history, this riot ensured the University of Oxford held prominence over the town's authorities for several hundred years, which allowed it to develop and grow and get rich all at the same time. Any comments and suggestions are welcome. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 16:52, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Serialis Numerus V-IV-I-II-IX

[edit]

Let me look properly at it tomorrow, but thanks for the invite. Off the top of my head:

  • The picture postcards from the university should probably be labelled as 19C. depictions somehow.
  • Ref #39 (Jeaffreson 1871) has a pp error.
  • Likewise Chance, Colvin, Cooper et al. needs, apparently "pagenums for book chapter".
@SchroCat: replied, links etc. ——SN54129 15:30, 5 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Gog the Mild

[edit]

I have boldly copy edited all over; revert at will.

  • "The violence following the bar brawl" Possibly 'The violence started by the bar brawl'?
  • "University halls and students' accommodation was raided" 'were raided'? (Tim would know.)
  • "concerned murders by students" It may be worth pointing out who the victims were.
  • "In the centre of the town, on the corner of St Aldate's and Queen Street, at Carfax, the Swindlestock Tavern was based; the tavern was a regular drinking spot for the students." This sentence seems misplaced. It would fit better as the second sentence of "Dispute".
  • I suggest borrowing Sn's footnote explain what a mark is. Link mark at first mention.
  • "12 of the 29 coroner's courts held between 1297 and 1322 concerned murders by the students" Yet the two examples you give just before are both murders of students.
  • Are you deliberately leaving "de" uncapitalized when it starts a sentence?
MOS:SENTENCECAPS suggests to me that they should be capitalised. Gog the Mild (talk) 23:22, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

A quick run through. I will try and have a proper go through later. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:10, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Further thoughts
[edit]
coroner's court
baptism
honorary
freeman
vice-chancellor
excommunicated
cudgels
staves
proclamation - at first mention
master
tonsure
privies
cesspits
penny
  • "attend a mass for those killed at the University Church of St Mary the Virgin" Switch "for those killed" to the end of the phrase to avoid ambiguity.

Excellent stuff. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:48, 5 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for these - now duly attended to here. - SchroCat (talk) 11:15, 7 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Tim

[edit]

I say! It sounds like the Athenaeum on Boat Race Night. A few comments:

  • Lead
    • "The students became quarrelsome with the taverner, which quickly escalated to blows" – this doesn't quite work. What is the which? You could do a lot worse than judicious repetition here – a standard rhetorical device since Aristotle's time – "The students became quarrelsome with the taverner; the quarrel quickly escalated to blows…" but there are plenty of other ways to make the sentence grammatically OK.
    • "resulting melee" – the OED hasn't given the noun a full English passport so far and insists on mêlée.
    • "armed gangs coming in from the countryside to assist the townspeople" – assist sounds a touch genteel in this context. Perhaps "reinforce" or some such?
    • "Violent disagreements between residents and students" – here and throughout I'm not entirely comfortable with "residents" to label the townspeople. The students resided in the town too, and so were just as much "residents".
    • "12 of the 29 coroner's courts" – I don't swear to it but I think this should be coroners' with the possessive apostrophe after the ess. (At a pinch I could argue a case for coroner's – each coroner had a coroner's court and there were 29 of them – but I don't think that quite holds water.)
    • "The University of Cambridge was established in 1209" – perfectly true, no doubt, but the date didn't oughter be in the lead if it isn't in the main text, which it isn't.
  • Background
    • You might link "plague" perhaps.
    • "deeply affected by the event" – I'd be inclined to omit the last three words.
  • Dispute
    • "The tavern … the inn" – I am unfamiliar with places where alcohol is consumed, as you know, and others like me may wonder what is the difference between a tavern and an inn and why both terms are used in the one sentence.
    • "the university, who were given additional powers" – not sure about a plural verb for "the university". The university authorities, possibly?
    • "de Croydon refused" – does one leave a "de" like this in lower case when it is at the start of a sentence? I'm not 100% sure but I think I'd begin a sentence, e.g. "De Gaulle was President…" not "de Gaulle was President".
    • "any student who was found in their rented rooms" – there being no female students the politically correct singular "their" is unnecessary and "his" is unimpeachable.
  • Resolution
    • "When each new mayor or sheriff was sworn in, they had to swear to uphold all the university's rights." – another otiose PC pronoun. These personages were all men, and so "he" is wanted here.
    • Tim, shouldn't this be a "they" for plural? If you think singular is best, then yes, it will be "he". - SchroCat (talk) 15:40, 5 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • "each" and "or" both require a singular, and indeed you have very properly used "was", so it should be a singular pronoun, i.e. "he"

That's all from me. An invigorating article, which I look forward to seeing at FAC. – Tim riley talk 14:42, 5 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]