Wikipedia:Peer review/Stage works of Paul Goodman/archive1
Stage works of Paul Goodman[edit]
Toolbox |
---|
This peer review discussion is closed. |
I stumbled into this article as part of my larger project on Paul Goodman oeuvre, finding that rather than writing a stub about Jonah, I could write a little on each of his major plays.
I'm looking for any feedback in advance of taking this neat little morsel to FAC. czar 14:12, 6 February 2024 (UTC)
- @Czar: This has been open for over a month without a comment. Are you still interested in receiving comments? Z1720 (talk) 19:15, 15 March 2024 (UTC)
Comments from Z1720[edit]
Comments after a prose read-through:
- Page description is missing
- It has
{{short description|none}}
because the title is descriptive of its contents
- It has
- "Put another way, the plays each have three characters: a traveler (the audience), a spirit (the idea of the poem), and the chorus (that interprets both for each other)." I think this explanation can be worded better, but I'm not sure how. I don't like the "Put another way" sentence starter.
- Edited
- I do not think that the names of the plays are supposed to be bolded, as this article is about all of the Stage works, not specific entries. Typically I do not see bolded statements in the body of the article.
- It's not often needed but it's the common technique for highlighting redirect targets per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Text formatting#Article title terms
- "The sets and invitations were primitive and the 20-person seating arrangements intimate." Was this chosen by Goodman? If so, why? If not, it should be removed.
- It was a production decision by the Living Theatre
- "Attendees included John Cage, Merce Cunningham, and Carl Van Vechten." I think this is off-topic for the article: the reader does not need to know who came to see the performance unless it is important for its development.
- They were major figures in the New York scene, so I thought it was useful for context, and Cunningham became a collaborator later in the article, but I can remove if it reads as trivia
- The last paragraph of "Jonah" falls into the "X said Y" pattern. Consider WP:RECEPTION for ideas on how to reword this paragraph.
- I thought it was rather varied, for the material
Those are my thoughts. Based on prose I think this is almost ready for an FAC. Z1720 (talk) 20:36, 15 March 2024 (UTC)