Wikipedia:Peer review/Supergrass discography/archive2

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Supergrass discography[edit]

Previous peer review
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate it for FAC again and want to make sure everything is sorted before doing so. What work does this article need to be able pass for a FA?

Thanks, TwentiethApril1986 (talk) 18:31, 7 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

  • First off, this has a better chance of being a Featured List than a Featured Article.
  • "This is a discography of Supergrass"—FL's don't start like this any more. Start off with "Supergrass is an English alternative rock band..."
  • This article needs copy-editing. That should be taken care of before submitting to FLC. If you want specific examples please ask at my talk page.
  • The main issues in the prose are wrong tense, awkward phrasing, and lack of commas or commas used in the wrong place.

Dabomb87 (talk) 17:43, 12 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Specific examples:

  • "The album reached number one in the UK where it stayed for three weeks." Needs a comma.
Done. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 11:50, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The album lead the band to four newcomer awards in the same year the album was released." "lead"-->led.
  • "'Alright' was released from the album which reached number two in UK Singles Chart." Comma needed after "album".
  • "In It for the Money which was the first album to be produced entirely by Supergrass peaked at number two in the UK album charts." Comma after Money.
  • "Their third self titled" Hyphenate "self titled".
  • "Both albums were included in the book "1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die"." This sentence does not belong in the middle of that paragraph.
Removed from article. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 11:50, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 2004 the band released a singles compilation entitled Supergrass Is 10 to celebrate ten years since the band formed."-->In 2004, the band released a singles compilation entitled Supergrass Is 10 to celebrate ten years since the band's formation.
  • "The DVD version featured a documentary film in which the band members recall moments during their career in the group." Comma after "film".
  • "behind the scenes" Hyphenate.
  • "Road to Rouen is the fifth studio from the band"—fifth "studio album"
  • "and was difficult for the band due to personal reasons including Danny Goffey's tabloid ordeal and the death of the Coombes' mother. " Difficult to do what? Repetition of "band".
  • "Diamond Hoo Ha is the sixth album from the band and only peaking at number 19 in the UK album charts this release makes it their lowest charting album to date."-->Diamond Hoo Ha is the sixth album from the band. It peaked at number 19 in the UK album charts, which made this release their lowest-charting album to date.

That should help some. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:29, 15 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Much better, but you missed a couple. Dabomb87 (talk) 00:26, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "an English alternative rock"—needs band after this.
Done. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 13:04, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "consists of six studio albums, seven extended plays, two compilation albums, one live album, 25 singles, 21 music videos and contributions to three soundtracks." Comparable quantities should either be in all figures or all words, not mixed.
Done. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 13:04, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "of brothers Gaz (guitar and lead vocals) and Rob Coombes (keyboards), Danny Goffey (drums and backing vocals), and Mick Quinn (bass and backing vocals)." Incomplete sentence.
Done. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 13:04, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The band was formed"—Use British English "The band were formed..."
Done. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 13:04, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The album led the band to four newcomer awards in the same year the album was released." This sentence doesn't make sense now.
Changed to "I Should Coco led the band to four newcomer awards in the year the album was released." Better? TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 13:09, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
How about "...led the band to receive..." Dabomb87 (talk) 12:35, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 16:01, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The track "Diamond Hoo Ha Man", one of the songs was first played at Guilfest, was distributed as the first single on a limited vinyl release, restricted to 1500 copies." Unclear.
Does it need a citation? TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 15:02, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
No, the wording of "one of the songs was first played at Guilfest" is off. Dabomb87 (talk) 12:35, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 16:01, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done. TwentiethApril1986 (want to talk?) 13:04, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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