Wikipedia:Peer review/The Howard Stern Show/archive1

The Howard Stern Show

This peer review discussion has been closed.
The article was reviewed just once since its creation, and was given a B-Class quality scale rating back in February 2007.[here.] The article has undergone a big change since then, including many improvements. I would love any guidance to improve this rating to a GA-Class or even an A-Class.

I do realise there needs referencing and general work for the "Satellite radio" and "Regular guests" sections of the article.

Thanks, LowSelfEstidle (talk) 16:09, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is interesting, though I think it would be more interesting if trimmed in places. Somehow the essence of the show gets lost in the details of what happened in what particular time frame. I'd be inclined to think about expanding the "Overview" section to include a description of the essential nature of the show and how it evolved over time. Then I might eliminate some of the detail in each of the chronological sections. For example, we are told in the 1979–80 section that "Although radio consultant Dwight Douglas advised against the offer, Wally Clark, general manager of "W-4", flew into Hartford to confirm the deal." Is this level of detail important? In the next section, 1981–82, we are told that "Because Stern was not allowed to say goodbye on the air, he presented a "farewell show" two weeks later on rival Washington station WAVA without Quivers." Is this detail important to a reader's understanding of the subject? What I'm saying is that the article as it stands includes unnecessary detail that slows the reader down and masks the more essential details. In the 1982–85 section, we read "The show's last broadcast on WNBC was on September 27, 1985, with the show being cancelled the following Monday on September 30. This followed a "Bestiality Dial-a-Date" segment on September 20, although relations between management and the show had been strained from the beginning. As per his contract, WNBC still had to pay Stern for the following two and a half years. Norris and Dell'Abate however, continued to stay for a short while, even hosting their own show, until they were brought along to WXRK in November." I believe this could reasonably be compressed to ""After a "Bestiality Dial-a-Date segment further strained a tense relationship between Stern and WNBC management, the show was cancelled. The final broadcast occurred on September 27, 1985." I'd look for ways to compress and trim throughout the article.

• MOS:INTRO says in part, "The lead section should briefly summarize the most important points covered in an article in such a way that it can stand on its own as a concise version of the article." The existing lead doesn't mention the topics covered in many of the sections, and it includes material, such as the television show, that is not mentioned in the main text. I'd be inclined to re-write the lead to make it into a true summary mentioning the highlights of the whole article. I'd suggest doing all the compressing and re-organizing first, however. Even thought the lead comes first in the article, it's hard to get it right until the article is in something close to final form.

• In the "Overview" section, rather than limiting this to a single quote from a book, I think I would attempt a paraphrase and add further information to it, citing sources. To do this, I'd assume an audience of people who had never heard of the show and knew nothing about it. Somewhere in this overview, I'd want to include "shock jock" and "satire" and something about controversy and the FCC and the show's continuing popularity. If, on the other hand, you stick with the quote, it should be a blockquote without quotation marks or fancy quotes. See MOS:QUOTE for details. In addition, quotes like this should not have any of their parts wikilinked since the original material had no links.

• Many of the section heads and subheads seem too long to me. An example would be "1985–1988: Move to mornings, Philadelphia and Washington". Why not "1985–1988: Philadelphia and Washington"?

• Rather than using all-caps for SIRIUS, I'd suggest Sirius. Ditto for iN DEMAND, which appears in the lead. Ditto for things like "STERN PRODUCER FLOURISHES BY THE SKIN OF HIS TEETH". Title case is preferable even if the source uses all caps. The preferred form would be "Stern Producer Flourishes by the Skin of His Teeth".

• Bolding in the lead should probably be limited to the repetition of the article title in the first sentence. "Howard Stern on Demand" and "Howard TV" would then appear in italics but not bold letters.

• "and was on the air from 6:00 am to 10:00 am" - Time references like this are more succinctly expressed without the "00"; i.e, "6 am to 10 am. and should be held together by an nbsp code to prevent them from being separated by line wrap on computer screens. WP:NBSP has details.

• "After a year at WCCC, Stern decided to leave as he could not get a $25 raise that he asked for." - In the places in the article where you discuss salary, it would be helpful to specify salary per unit of time. Does the quoted sentence mean $25 a day, $25 a week, $25 a month?

• "The October–November 1980 ratings book showed that Stern, with his 1.6 share, trailed behind his competitors WRIF and WVMV with their 4.7 and 4.6 respectively." - I think it would be very helpful to include a brief explanation of how the ratings work and what the word "share" means in this context. Also, what do the numbers mean? What is the scale?

• "On September 4, 1984 Dell'Abate... " - Throughout the article are quite a few full dates that lack a comma after the year. It really should be "On September 4, 1984, Dell'Abate... ".

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 22:37, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Many thanks for your time and comments! Very helpful indeed. :)92.0.61.251 (talk) 01:39, 31 August 2009 (UTC)