Wikipedia:Peer review/Trivium (band)/archive1

Trivium (band)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to make this this article good. It would boost my mainspace activity greatly.

Thanks, MrLittleIrish ^(talk) 申 09:20, 11 May 2012 (UTC)

Comments a few quick things.

• Okay, WP:LEAD suggests that an article of this size should probably have at least two, if not three paragraphs which summarise the whole article.
• " in February of 2012" no need for "of".
• You link the discog but only by albums. I would suggest a reword, like "The band's discography consists of...."
• 2 dab links, Machine Head and Cronos, need to be fixed.
• Check your dashes. For year ranges, WP:DASH normally suggests an unspaced en-dash, not em-dash.
• "The pair went over to drummer" -> "The pair went to drummer .."
• "they accepted him into the band known as Trivium" which they called Trivium.
• "The band entered a studio to record its debut album" reads a little odd, would say "The band recorded its first studio album" or something. Perhaps you could have a look into WP:LOCE for a really thorough copyedit.
• Avoid using # to mean "number" per MOS:HASH.
• "To this day..." see WP:ASOF.
• Avoid re-using the band members' first names once you've introduced them.

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:13, 17 May 2012 (UTC)