Wikipedia:Peer review/Uttar Pradesh/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a Uttar Pradesh. Please do not modify it. Further comments should be made on the article's talk page. No further edits should be made to this page.

Uttar Pradesh

Toolbox
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… The article has improved a lot recently, especially with citations and Manuel of style. Thank You -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 16:37, 17 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]


Comment On a quick glance, the article seems to be good in coverage. The references are poorly formatted. There are some bare URL, several references lack publisher info and access dates. The author naming style (author name versus last, first) is inconsistent. There are sources that may have wp:rs issue, such as kumbhamela.net, bharatonline, Indiafestivals. --Dwaipayan (talk) 05:37, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

 Done with wp:rs issue.Please list the section name where references are poor formatted and lack publisher info(I think it would be a history part).So that it will be easy to deal the problem.Thank You -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 06:32, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The references are nowhere near FA criteria in terms of formatting. Not any particular section, the WHOLE article lacks consistency of reference formatting. A great majority of web citations lack access date, some newspaper citations lack publishing date. Newspaper names must be italicised. Website name may or may not be italicised, depending on the way it is used. wp:mos is not clear cut in this regard. But, whatever you do ( either website name italicised or non-italicised) that should be consistently done in a given article throughout. Please read [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:ITALIC#Italic_face this].
All these rigorous rules are needed for FA candidacy, not GA. Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 11:56, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Done reference formatting,publishing date.Please list other mistakes also. -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 07:31, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Done All the above issues have been solved.I dont see bare urls anywhere,if it is please list the ref. number and citation will be italicised when i'll think this article for FA..for now i'm planning to GA. --25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 07:20, 26 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Considering that the final goal is FAC, the references are not consistently formatted.
FN2. 6 Land reforms in India. Google books. 1993-01-01. ISBN 9788185880099. Author, publisher info missing. And since url is linked, needs retrieval date.
FN1. "census of india". Census of India 2001. Government of India. 27 May 2002. Retrieved 14 April 2007. Why the first letter in census in small case?
FN 5. "Uttar Pradesh Legislative Council". Legislative Bodies in India. Retrieved 23 July 2012. The publisher should be some government here, likely Government of India. "Legislative Bodies in India" could go to work parameter.
FN6. "Very old and fascinating history of state". Government of Uttar Pradesh. Retrieved 23 July 2012. Government of UP is not the publisher of this website. Indeed it may not be RS.
Could not review further.--Dwaipayan (talk) 13:05, 26 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Compare FN 8. (Bridget Allchin, Frank Raymond Allchin (1982). The Rise of Civilization in India and Pakistan. Cambridge University Press. p. 58. ISBN 0-521-28550-X. Retrieved 23 July 2012.) with FN 20 (Agrawal, Ashvini (1983). The sceptre of Hindustan. Delhi: Motilal Banarsidass Publication. p. 277. Retrieved 23 July 2012.). The first one lists the author name as first last name; the second example has last, first name. One of the styles (either one is ok) needs to be followed consistently in the article.--Dwaipayan (talk) 13:12, 26 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Cool observation bro,problem is solved.I've corrected all of those.Please review further.I know reviewing such a long article,it's hard. -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 09:36, 27 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, you have to be really thorough for references. It is still filled with inconsistency. I see most of the author name now is consistent; but FN 4 still remains "Cook, William (1896). The tribes and castes of the North-western Provinces and Oudh, Volume II. Calcutta: Office of the Superintendent of Government Printing, India. Retrieved 23 July 2012."; FN 18 is "Stronge, Susan (16-Oct-2012). Mughal Hindustan is renowned for its opulence. London: The Arts of the Sikh Kingdoms (V&A 1999). p. 255. Retrieved 23 July 2012." Same for FN 28, 29. Change the pattern of these author names.

Newspapers titles need to be in italics; as of now some are in in italics, some are not.

Next, FN 20. "Fergus Nicoll, Shah Jahan: The Rise and Fall of the Mughal Emperor (2009)". No page number, publisher or isbn given.

FN 30. "Akshayakumar Ramanlal Desai Peasant Struggles in India, Oxford University Press, 1979. p. 349.", There will be a period (full stop) after author's name. Also, if the book has isbn, please provide that.

Next, FN 25. Dilip K. Chakrabarti (1 June 1997). Colonial Indology: sociopolitics of the ancient Indian past. Michigan: Munshiram Manoharlal Publishers Pvt. Ltd.. p. 257. Munshiram Manoharlal publisher is located in Michigan? Suspicious. Also, most of your book citation does not include publication city, so why here? Consistency is the key here.

I could see up to this. Please comb through the citations with attention. Regards.

OMG.  Done I've tried to solve all the reference issue thoroughly.But there would be chances that i've forget to correct one or more.Please check and list them.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 20:08, 4 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Review The overall coverage is pretty thorough, definitely what I would expect from a GA or even an FA. However, the History section seems incomplete; there is no mention of any post-Mughal history save the recent terrorist attacks (which are currently under a separate subheading).

There are a number of minor grammar issues (a few examples: "State is known tourist destination for domestic and international tourists." "the British East India Company had established it's supremacy", "Uttar Pradesh is home a number of languages, which are sometimes referred to as dialects", "Uttar Pradesh is electorally most important state", "Lucknow the World famous dress-manufacturing centre in the country, with strong auto-mobiles, engineering and chemical industries") but these are easily fixable by a bit of good copyediting.

One or two peacock terms have crept in over time; phrases like, "The diverse linguistic and religious ethnicities that are native to Uttar Pradesh combined with their long histories have contributed immensely to the varied cultural heritage of the state," "The Chaat in Lucknow is one of the best in the country," need to be toned down to comply with WP:NPOV.

I haven't checked all the references, but those I have looked at are sound; reliable sources that verify the information in the article. Some could use expansion (access dates, publishers etc.) and although most use the {{cite}} template, there are several which are just bare URLs. A few sections need additional citations to verify the information therein, such as Culture and Cuisine.

The wikilinking could use a bit of work; some terms are linked more than once (like Gangetic plain, Babool and Lucknow) or linked after their first appearance in the article, whilst others are common terms which do not require linking. Some terms and names in the article are currently unlinked and probably should be, such as the scholars listed at the end of the Education section or the various ghats under Culture.

Quantities in lakh should have their Western (million/billion) equivalent alongside, per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/India-related articles#Basic India conventions.

Overall, I'd say this wasn't far off a GA; there's some work to be done, but it's definitely getting there. Yunshui 雲‍水 08:02, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Actually i was told to add references just like [1].So i'v used the {{cite}} template most of the time.If there any other way please suggest.Thank You -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 16:04, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

 Done with terms are linked more than once (like Gangetic plain, Babool and Lucknow) and Quantities related stuffs Thank You -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 16:04, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Some minor comments
  • I don't think that the history section should start with something like "The state has undergone several name changes," I think that an another section named Etymology can be made or all that stuff.
  • Indian Mujahidin is a major terrorist group, so remove "little known group".
  • The Indian hockey legend Major Dhyan chand --> Allahabad born Indian field hockey player Dhyan Chand is considered to be one of the greatest players of all time.
  • The Language and Literature starts with "The Hindi language boasts a rich literary heritage". It should instead say that the Hindi language boasts a rich literary heritage in UP.
  • The whole Cuisine section has just one citation. Also facts like "due to Muslim dominance ... are meat based" applies only to certain regions like the Awadh.
  • Remove both the links from the See also section, as they are already mentioned in the article.
  • The Sports section goes a little off-topic.
 Done satisfied your 4,5,6 pint."Sports section goes a little off-topic" can you please quite descriptive. Thank You -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 16:04, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Dhyan Chandh and Buddh International Circuit doesn't need such a broad description. ♛♚★Vaibhav Jain★♚♛ Talk Email 16:18, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • It's ok with Dhyan Chandh but Buddh International Circuit is evolution in state's sports history,isn't ? Thank you -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 16:22, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments –

  • The most important thing for any article, to move it up in quality, is to make sure that everything is sourced. I see some places here that could do with more citations. The last paragraph of History lacks any sources, as does the last paragraph of Terror attacks, and there are other areas that are light on references.
  • From the Terror attacks section: "On 7 December 2010, another blast has occurred at Sheetla Ghat...". No need for "has", since the article should describe an incident like this in past tense.
  • Two citation needed tags are present, one in Flora and fauna and the other in Demographics. These could cause a good article review to fail by themselves, so they should be dealt with.
  • Reference 49 is a dead link.
  • Would be nice if all references included publisher, date of publication where known, and the date of access. With those items, they would look much nicer than they do now.
  • Also, all caps are discouraged in the titles of references. Removing them would be another positive change.
  • Geography: "Uttar Pradesh is India's fifth largest state, situated on the northern spout of India, shares an international boundary with Nepal stretching from the Himalayas in the north." Feels like "and" needs to be placed before "shares".
  • "The state has a total area of 243,290 square kilometers. It spreads over a large area". Second part is redundant to the first. The statistic shows that the area is large; this doesn't have to be repeated immediately.
  • Crime: Fourth word of "The history of Crime in Uttar Pradesh is perhaps as old as the history of human civilization" shouldn't be capitalized.
  • "Among the most backward in the country, have done better in improving the lot of their marginalized Dalits and tribes." What is the subject of this sentence? Uttar Pradesh?
  • Shaky writing here: "As of now Uttar Pradesh has the second highest number of Civil Police 107840 accounting for 9.5% of the total civil police in the country." I think putting the 107840 inside surrounding dashes is enough to fix the major issue. And should "Civil Police" be capitalized or not? This sentence is inconsistent in that regard. Giants2008 (Talk) 00:26, 20 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Terror attacks: More shaky writing in "Uttar Pradesh is the second state where most of the terror attack took placed after Maharashtra." Finding a good copy-editor and having them make a run through the article is the best way to address problems like this, and "Other blast followed at the Varanasi Cantonment Railway Station". Giants2008 (Talk) 00:27, 20 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

 Done Please list other issues.Thank You -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 13:01, 23 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

    • One issue I notice in many places is that paragraphs conclude without a reference, leaving items after the preceding reference uncited. This will need to be dealt with before the article can reach GA level, and should be the focus of future editing. I'm also seeing a large number of prose issues—too many to list here—so my recommendation that a copy-edit be done stands. Giants2008 (Talk) 01:11, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'v already requested for copy editing,but didn't get any reaction. See here -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 07:13, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Tito Dutta

25 Cents FC, thanks for inviting in the review. I can see some Giants2008 has started very well. Excellent. I'll also try to add few more points–

 Done dead link problem is solved.Other dead link number is not given.(Please tell the ref. number). Lead is considered as summary of the article.I've also gone through some of geo. articles having FA status. I was told to cover at least few important stuffs. -25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣
  • There are 5 paragraphs, it is suggested to not create more than 4 paragraphs MOS:LEAD#Length
  • Don't collapse population growth box (if it is content of article MOS:SCROLL)
  • Also image alt (as above, I know it may take some time)--Tito Dutta ✉ 11:10, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Buddh International Circuit hosted hugely successful India’s inaugural F1 Grand Prix on October 30, 2011 – change to DMY date format!
  • 1000–1200 mm received mostly during the monsoon season extending from July to September. – don't link month! --Tito Dutta ✉ 11:16, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Recovered all the above issues.Please tell other issues also. --25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 13:01, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
With no scrolling population growth box destroying the whole section. PS--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 07:36, 26 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Veda Vyasa attributed to have compiled the Vedas– in the caption or article body, you can mention how Veda Vyasa is relevant in this article! I can find name of Vyasa only once (in the caption)
  • Pandit Ravi Shankar– drop Pandit, we are not using honorific in the article
  • Both Uttar Pradesh(Khyal and Dhrupad)– give a space– I have  Fixed
  • Overlink "Hinduism"! --Tito Dutta ✉ 13:20, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Done with the above given four issues.Please list more.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 14:02, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
CorrectKnowledge

While copy-editing your article I noticed a few minor errors-

  • Akbar has been called a Muslim Rajput in the caption to his image. Akbar was of of Timurid descent. Please check and correct this.
  • The sentence "A large number of Indian Scholars are educated at different universities in Uttar Pradesh" has not been substantiated with any references and should be removed as per WP:WEASEL.
  • "The history of crime in Uttar Pradesh is perhaps as old as the history of human civilization". Please reword this to better represent the crime data of Uttar Pradesh, obtained from National Crime Records Bureau.  Fixed

On the whole, the article is detailed and well referenced. It still needs substantial copy-edit though. But it looks good to make it to the GA class. CorrectKnowledge (talk) 13:52, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

 Done completed,kindly list other problems also --25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 14:07, 25 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

A few more suggestions-

  • The statement "Summers are extreme with temperatures fluctuating anywhere between 0 °C and 50 °C in parts of the state." in the climate section is unreferenced and incorrect (UP can't include Uttarakhand anymore).  Done
  • I have added two citation needed tags, one each in Government and Politics and Economy.  Done
  • In Language and Literature section, the sentence "The Vedas are a large body of texts originating in Uttar Pradesh" needs to be modified. The reference states "Many great sages of the Vedic times like Bhardwaja, Gautam, Yagyavalkaya, Vashishtha, Vishwamitra and Valmiki flourished in this state. Several sacred books of the Aryans were also composed here." So please change the statement to → Several texts and hymns of the Vedic literature were composed in Uttar Pradesh.  Done
  • The sentence "The Hindi language boasts a rich literary heritage in UP" should come after the description of Vedic and Sanskrit literature composed in UP for chronological consistency.  Done
  • This section also refers to Vyasa, but it does not mention how he is connected to UP. Was he born in the region, did he write the Mahabharata there etc.  Done

I can see that a lot of copy-editing has been done. The article has improved vastly since the last time I checked it. Regards. CorrectKnowledge (talk) 06:44, 5 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Earlier, i've used Vyasa pic next to Harivansh Rai and wrote some texts related to him.I've changed it now.

I have added two more citation tags, one each in Climate and Language and Literature. I don't see any more errors on a cursory glance. Cheers. CorrectKnowledge (talk) 11:36, 5 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Starting afresh on reference formatting. Again, I implore you to really comb through the whole reference section, not only the ones I point out. FN 5 (Gibling, M.R.; Sinha, R.; Roy, N.G.; Tandon, S.K.; Jain, M. (2008). "Quaternary fluvial and eolian deposits on the Belan river, India: paleoclimatic setting of Paleolithic to Neolithic archeological sites over the past 85,000 years". Quaternary Science Reviews 27 (3–4): 391. ) still mentions the author name in "last, fist" style while most of the other references do not, so do FN 146 (Dikshit, Ragini (July 10, 2007). "चित्रकूट: दुनिया का प्रथम विकलांग विश्वविद्यालय [Chitrakuta: The world's first handicapped university]" (in Hindi). Jansatta Express.) and FN 181 (Das Gupta, Uma (1977). "The Indian Press 1870–1880: A Small World of Journalism" (see pages 233–234). Modern Asian Studies 11 (2): 213–235. ) and may be more.  Done

FN 126 ("Faizabad to get international standard sports complex". Tuesday, 20 June 2006, 20:06 [IST]A A A. Retrieved 2 February 2006.) what is this? Totally wrong. Why Tuesday and the time? What is "A A A "?  Done

Why is there a comma between first and last name in FN 162 (Subhash, Kak. "The Mahabharata as an encyclopaedia". Louisiana State University. Retrieved 5 August 2012.).  Done

FN 134 ( literacy rate works out, While the overall. "Uttar Pradesh Profile". Census of India 2011. Retrieved 16 Oct. 2010.) seems to have incomplete title/comment.  Done

Why are some months mentioned in abbreviation (Oct.) and some are not (April). You have to be consistent. --Dwaipayan (talk) 16:52, 5 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Some more randomly noted errors in reference

What style are you exactly following? Title case (capitalizing the first letter of every word except propositions or conjunctions) or Sentence case (only capitalizing the first letter of the first word, and capitalizing as per the other rules of grammar)? Chhose one, and stick to that in references, consistently. As an example, "Banarasi paan or tobacco". The Times of India. 28 Apr 2012. Retrieved 14 July 2012. This follows sentence case. If you had written ""Banarasi Paan or Tobacco". The Times of India.", it would be Title case.  Done

  • "North Indian: Kathak". DANCE STYLE LOCATOR. Retrieved 23 June 2012. Why in all caps?  Done
  • FN 172. Bhatkhande music institute". Uttar Pradesh education department. Retrieved 25 July 2012. Should be "...Education Department". It's the name of an organization.  Done
  • FN 180. Banarasi paan or tobacco". The Times of India. 28 Apr 2012. Retrieved 14 July 2012. ToI should be italicized.  Done
  • FN 47. in UP are important in many ways, The Forests and biodiversity. "Miscellaneous Statistics". Ministry of Environment and Forests. Retrieved 22 July 2012. Done
What are you meaning by "in UP are important..."? Ministry of which government?  Done
  • FN 50. S.k.agarwal. Environment Biotechnology. APH Publishing. pp. 61– ISBN 978-81-313-0294-1. Retrieved 25 July 2012. Jeez.. so many errors! "S.k.agarwal"???? It would be "S. K. Agarwal". Than, "pp. 61–"??? why is there pp and dash if you are mentioning just a single page?--Dwaipayan (talk) 18:01, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done All the issues have been covered.I've tried my level best,If still i'm missing something do tell. 25 CENTS VICTORIOUS☣ 14:41, 16 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Peer_review/Uttar_Pradesh/archive1&oldid=1076197530"