Wikipedia:Peer review/Weezer (2001 album)/archive1

Weezer (2001 album)

This peer review discussion has been closed.

I am planning on making the Green Album into a Good Article. However, I don't know what else to do on the article. Hopefully, I can get some helpful comments on improvement. GamerPro64 (talk) 17:21, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

Thoughts from Seegoon

I'm just going to pick through one thing at a time, as thoughts strike me.

• "Following the commercial and critical failure of Pinkerton" – our article on Pinkerton states that although it was deemed a failure at the time, it eventually grew to be pretty well-regarded. I know you come to this later on, but here you could say something about the initially negative critical and commercial reaction to the album.
• "He retreated to Harvard, but eventually dropped out to focus on songwriting" – I'd be interested to know what he studied there. Again, just for the sake of context.
• "In the Winter of 1997-1998" – I'm not sure you need to capitalise here. Same applies to 'spring' later on. Also, date ranges should be linked by an en dash (–).
• "soundtrack entitled "American Girls." – I was under the impression that Wikipedia generally used logical quotation; i.e. the full stop should be outside the quotation marks. I might be wrong here, and you can just stick to Am-En if that's the case.
• "Brian Bell worked on his band The Space Twins" – either you drop 'the' completely or de-capitalise it, considering it's not part of their name (according to their Wikipedia page).
• "the internet" – I actually think it's normal Wikipedia style to capitalise 'internet'. Weird in my books, but seemingly the done thing.
• "The positive response to the Warped Tour performances lend to further shows being scheduled." – 'led to', surely.
• "The band eventually decided to hire Ric Ocasek--who had also" – as this is American English, you should replace the double-hyphen with an unspaced em dash (—).
• "I set out to design the package exactly how I would want it, and it just turns out that it's very similar to the first album. I'm the same person as I was then, pretty much. I have the same taste so I don't see why it should be different.[44][48]" – I don't think you need two citations, particularly.
• "Mystery Science Theater 3000. (Hence the liner note citation "MST3K..." – TV shows should be italicised, per style guides.
• "come home with me?"[50]." – you can delete the full stop here.
• "debuting overseas at #31 on the UK Top 40[56]," – citation should be after punctuation.
• "In two weeks the album had sold 215,000 copies." – in total? Internationally? Could do with some specificity.
• "but nobody else does it this [sic] so well" – there's a {{sic}} template.
• "Spin placed The Green Album as the 9th best album of 2001." – italics for 'Spin' and you could probably write out 'ninth'.
• "an additional bonus track, "I Do," which was" – there is a slight inconsistency regarding commas and quotation marks here. Somewhere earlier on you place a comma outside the quotations (which makes more sense to me) and you need to keep a steady style.
• Personnel section – some articles break the listing up into band members and other personnel, using minor headings (a semicolon in wikicode), which is something I like. Some also go as far as using a two-column layout, which isn't always necessary but aesthetically can be pleasing. See Wavering Radiant for what I mean.

That's my nitpicking pretty well done, at least what I've gleaned from a once-over. More generally, there are a couple of things that would have this batted away at FAC, although I think it'd likely breeze through GAC. A Featured Article would absolutely, definitely demand more in regarding to critical reception. You have the sources there, but they haven't really been utilised fully. Likewise, a 'Music' section, featuring reviewers' analysis of the sound and musicological musings would be a nice addition. Quite a lot of work, but certainly the difference between Good and Featured. Anyway, I hope this has been helpful. Good luck with it. Seegoon (talk) 16:24, 7 September 2010 (UTC)