Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 5

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R. Callner[edit]

Please review this new entry for american contemporary painter Richard Callner.

~~Melissamykal (talk) 02:52, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

 Done The article is well-written. I've done some copyediting and tweaking to wikify it. Wikipedia articles need a lead. Can you insert it in? Bejinhan talks 07:04, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christensen_Failure_Criterion[edit]

To understand easily, I have improve this article.


I Add See Also of background information,internal link of jargon to explaining it and a picture.


~~Sungkha777 (talk) 03:18, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

 Done The article looks good. I did some very minor copyediting to it. Unfortunately, the mathematics jargon used is still too deep. For those not familiar with mathematics/mechanical, it might be a problem-poser. Bejinhan talks 10:00, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, I think you need to try and either add links to related articles that explain this to help the reader out or write an opening section that is easier for the reader to understand. Chevymontecarlo 08:20, 8 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Micro-Mechanics of Failure[edit]

Could some people who have background in solid mechanics and are interested in failure theories of composite materials leave your valuable opinions to help improve this page, please. Thanks in advance.


~~Sungkha777 (talk) 05:46, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm afraid I can't help with you with the content, but as an article, it looks pretty good - though I might suggest making it easier to understand(as the tag suggests), Ex. by explaining complicated terms or concepts in a simpler manner. If you'd like someone to check the text, a member of a related WikiProject may have the expertise to help. :) ~ QwerpQwertus · Contact Me  · 22:19, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Again, I think you should write a more general opening section so that the average reader can understand it. Chevymontecarlo 08:21, 8 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MichaelKOFarrell/Enter_your_new_article_name_here[edit]

Hi there, this is my first article and I'd like some feedback please. Go gentle! - Thanks....

~~MichaelKOFarrell (talk) 13:31, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You definitely need some more references in the article to prove the statements you make in the article. Chevymontecarlo 08:17, 8 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helene_D._Gayle[edit]

This is my first Wikipedia article, so I would love some feedback. Thanks!


~~Careusa (talk) 17:05, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Try and add some names to the references, like this -
This is an example sentence in the article <ref>[http://www.examplereferenceURL.com|Reference name goes here!]</ref>.

I hope you understand, please send me a message if you have any further questions. Thank you. Chevymontecarlo 08:12, 8 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Grietaong/BIOLIEF[edit]


~~Grietaong (talk) 19:56, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:OtterBox/OtterBox&oldid=370808034[edit]

This is my first post to Wikipedia. Could I get some feedback, please? Additions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


~~OtterBox (talk) 20:08, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_Climb_(baseball)[edit]

Could I get some people to help me out with this new article that I made. It is called "Wall Climb (baseball)". It is about the art of fielding the ball by climbing a wall to get the out. Anyone who could help me out with the new article in any way would be greatly appreciated. Thanks


~~Awolf58 (talk) 20:52, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to try and add more references to the article - it appears to be quite a notable subject so there must be other articles on sites out there somewhere that you can use for the article. Try and display these references using inline citations, like I have done with the one reference you have at the moment. Finally, consider maybe adding a picture and sections, if you can. Chevymontecarlo 08:07, 8 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Voodoo_Jets[edit]

This is my very first Wiki page. Am seeking feedback to see if I did everything correctly. Thanks!

~~LeaveDogLights (talk) 21:28, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article. Consider adding a infobox as well, though, and maybe a picture. Finally, try and find some web references as well as the book/magazine references you have at the moment, as that's always a good idea. Other than that a very interesting and well-written article - well done :) Chevymontecarlo 08:01, 8 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ankur1389/Saint_Margaret_Engineering_College[edit]

I am a old student of the College .I updated it with best of my knowledge and all possible genunie resources.Please add it to wiki


~~Ankur Goyal 23:44, 5 August 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I made a very minor grammar correction but I do think you need to add more reliable references to the article if you can, as one reference just isn't enough. Chevymontecarlo 07:56, 8 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Lemley[edit]

I have written a Wiki page for film and tv producer Jim Lemley. I am seeking a review so the template box will be removed from his page.

I have outlined his early life, personal life, career, and upcoming projects. Additionally, I have added his filmography and linked all directors, actors and producers to their own wikipedia pages.

I have provided credible sources to prove he's a credible producer, including links to Focus Features, imdb.com, deadline.com, etc.

Please let me know about the review. I am excited for feedback.

Thanks.


~~BrookieFisher (talk) 23:51, 5 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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