Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 November 30

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User:Ashleymarieint/Scarf_Rings

I would like to have some feedback on my article. That would be much appreciated :)

Ashleymarieint (talk) 00:24, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

ACP Rail International

I've made changes to the article a while back and it still states "This article has multiple issues". I would appreciate it if someone could check it out. This is my first article and I'm a little worried it might be removed because of the issues. I've done all I can to add and remove what was necessary.

Acprail (talk) 01:29, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

Hello,

I've removed most of the tags, but want to point out that this sentence:

Since 1994, ACP Rail International has been a specialist marketing company [2] that European, British and other world railways have turned to for distribution, sales, strategy and marketing expertise.

really does sound like an advertisement instead of a plain old description, and I hope you'll find a more encyclopedic and less promotional way of saying that.

We don't usually delete articles for needing copyediting or things like that. However, we do delete articles about businesses that the outside world doesn't seem to have paid much attention to. The Ruggia source looks okay, but the others are weak—either self-published (like the press release) or merely mention the company in passing. So it's sort of borderline for meeting WP:CORP (the usual standard applied to businesses). If you're aware of any other media attention that the company has received (story in the newspaper when the business was started, maybe?), then you might like to add that. (It's okay to use dead-tree sources; there's no "online only" rule for WP:Reliable sources.)

Good luck, WhatamIdoing (talk) 01:55, 1 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Absolutionsinger/Enter your new article name here

Absolutionsinger (talk) 02:51, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

Morris Goldseker: Prominent Baltimore Real Estate Broker and Investor

This is a project for an assignment at University of Baltimore. Please let me know how to meet all the guidelines for my post. I need it to be scholarly,concise,grammatically error free. Thank you for your consideration and input.

Ublawstudent (talk) 03:48, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

WP:Welcome to Wikipedia.

I have fixed a few minor things in your formatting. Overall, I think the article looks pretty good.

Here's my suggestions for improvements:

1. Add WP:Wikilinks to important words that some readers might want more information about. For example, you might create a link in the first sentence for "real estate" and "philanthropist", because a reader might want to know more about these subjects. This is called building the web, and it's very easy to do. You just put double-square brackets around each word or phrase, like this: [[real estate]], which then looks like this: real estate.
2. Change your referencing style. Hand-typed numbers are a problem, because if you rearrange paragraphs, the numbers go out of order. Have you used the MLA format of author-date parenthetical references before? It's very easy—no <ref> tags needed—and it's perfectly accepted on Wikipedia.
3. Add appropriate categories to the end of the page. Take out the bit that says Category:Articles created via the Article Wizard and put in the best, most specific category (or categories) you can find. You might start by looking at some of the options in Category:People.

Good luck, WhatamIdoing (talk) 02:07, 1 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Uduria/Status Story

Uduria (talk) 05:32, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

You have blanked this page. Do you still want this article reviewed? WhatamIdoing (talk) 02:46, 1 December 2010 (UTC)

Untitledhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jaemikaiulani/Enter_your_new_article_name_here

Jaemikaiulani (talk) 08:10, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Tasteee/HotUKDeals

Adding a new article for a website. Would appreciate feedback on notability and formatting!

Tasteee (talk) 10:39, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

User:DavidPKnight/MaureenRice

This the first article I have actually written and would be grateful for feedback

DavidPKnight (talk) 11:37, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

Maya Zankoul

Any feedback/advice is appreciated! :-) How should book ISBNs be integrated in Wikipedia?

212.98.156.74 (talk) 12:08, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

You've got a solid start on the article. Please consider using the many interviews linked in the ==External links== section to expand the article content.

There's a "magic word" for ISBNs, so you just need to type ISBN 1234567890, and the software will automagically figure out what you mean. (See WP:ISBN if you want more details.) The list of publications deserves better than just a link, however. Please write proper, full bibliographic citations, as if you were writing it for a formal paper in a university English class—without the affiliate links to Amazon.com (which are banned by WP:ELNO).

Additionally, all of the WP:External links in the main text (such as the clickable links to her blog) need to be removed. WhatamIdoing (talk) 02:17, 1 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Allroad04/Simon_Lee_Gallery

Allroad04 (talk) 12:16, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

The article doesn't really have any references, and those are really important because they help to verify statements in an article. Without them, the article is likely to get deleted for either lack of notability or just no references. Chevymontecarlo 07:04, 3 December 2010 (UTC)

Domestic liability dollarization

Dear Wikipedia Editors: I created the wiki-article: Domestic liability dollarization over a month ago, and I have not received any feedback. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Regards, Andrés (AKA LAC.ideas)

LAC ideas 14:15, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

DynaVenture

Greetings Editors,

Please edit my article on 60 year old DynaVenture Corp., one of the largest private companes in Saskatchewan. Feel free to give me some pointers on how to improve the article. I am going to add an infobox soon.

Advance thanks for taking the time to review.

Best,

Suzy Huber (talk) 17:08, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

Justus Velsius

I would like some feedback on this new article, which I wrote from scratch. The original sources are mostly in Dutch and German, with one notable exception that describes V's activities in London One section is in need of expansion, i.e. on his final years when he was an itinerant preacher and faith healer in Holland

JdH (talk) 18:42, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

I don't really see any problems with the article - the sources are great and the overall formatting and language style is ideal. Nice job! Chevymontecarlo 07:00, 3 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Nitramyor/William_K._Summers_M.D.

This is an initial page of a note worthy individual. Please critique in preparation for Submitting.

Nitramyor (talk) 18:56, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

I've looked over the article. You're using a lot of primary sources and original documents, and Wikipedia usually wants to see a couple of solid, in-depth secondary sources. This is particularly important for biographies of living people, because we need secondary sources to show that they should have an article inflicted on them.

Some of it is also a bit wordy and unnecessarily detailed. For example, we don't need to know the names of patients, or the back-and-forth about the patent-issuing process, or how many times a paper had to be revised, or any details like that.

Try splitting up the long "career" section so that it doesn't contain information about his post-graduate education or divorce. (Perhaps a section on ==Education==? Or perhaps put all of the information about Alzheimer's research into a section called ==Alzheimer's research==?)

As minor stylistic points, Wikipedia never marks trademarks with ®. Physicians are referred to by their last names ("Summers"), without any preceding honorific like "Dr". The "quotes" section is a WP:QUOTEFARM and should be removed.

I can see that you've done quite a lot of work, and I hope this feedback is helpful. WhatamIdoing (talk) 02:42, 1 December 2010 (UTC)

Barton decarboxylation

There was no page dedicated to the Barton decarboxylation chemical reaction. I wanted to start a page that people could add to and build on. This is my first wikipedia page so comments would be greatly appreciated! --Zacaris15 (talk) 23:36, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

Nice work. I've tidied it a little. You can take a look at our Manual of Style. We prefer .PNG images. Let me know if you have difficulty generating them. Also, if you can number rather than label the image, we can re-use this image in other languages. --Rifleman 82 (talk) 04:30, 1 December 2010 (UTC)

In this case, it may be best to use SVG files, since the images can easily be represented as simple vector graphics. --NYKevin @948, i.e. 21:45, 4 December 2010 (UTC)

Hi Kevin, yes, they definitely are preferable philosophically. In reality due to software limitations, many chemists are unable to generate high quality SVGs, while they may be able to generate high quality SVGs; historically, many SVGs which have been uploaded have had quality problems and were subsequently deleted. There remains glitches like characters scaling properly, etc. Pragmatically, WP:CHEM does not recommend SVGs replacing PNGs unless they are clearly superior (and many are not), and actively discourages well meaning but inferior replacements.--Rifleman 82 (talk) 22:05, 4 December 2010 (UTC)

Hmm, I would assume that a black and white line drawing with simple text would be easy to do as SVG. I just traced one of the images with Inkscape using an automated tracing function and it looks fine to me (it's now in the article, specifically the lead). --NYKevin @990, i.e. 22:45, 4 December 2010 (UTC)

Do drop by WT:CHEMISTRY, where you can find other chemists. --Rifleman 82 (talk) 04:39, 1 December 2010 (UTC)