Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 April 21

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Arinn Dembo[edit]

Following up on the response to my previous request for feedback, I've cleaned up the links in the reference section of the article. Likewise, article itself and bibliography have been expanded by another member.

Other than linking it to related pages on Wikipedia, I'm wondering what else might be required to get it reviewed.

Aidan001 (talk) 00:46, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Architectsea/High Tech High charter schools - new article[edit]

I would appreciate feedback on form and content before taking this "live". Thanks

Architectsea (talk) 02:32, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Architectsea/Lakota Middle School - new article[edit]

I would appreciate input on form and content before taking this "live". Thanks.

Architectsea (talk) 03:31, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Flaneured/Notion_(magazine)[edit]

Are the sources valid? I believe them to be so, and the subject notable.Flaneured (talk) 11:23, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am obviously hoping to publish the page (first of many I hope!) and would hugely appreciate any feedback you provide.Flaneured (talk) 11:24, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Edinburgh838/Stornoway Coastguard Helicopter[edit]

A new page still in the planning stages with more information to add but I would request someone has a look at it to check I am going along the right route.

Many thanks.

Edinburgh838 (talk) 11:54, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I glanced over the article a bit, and I'm still confused as to specifically what it's about. Is it about a specific model/s of helo, is it about the institution of rescue flights in the UK, is it about a specific coastguard hangar on the Isle of Lewis? Try thinking on any inclarity in the flow of sections, and make sure the lede addresses specifically what your topic is. Even the title part is confusing, as the title is "Stornoway Coastguard Helicopter" but the lede term is "Stornoway HM Coastguard Search & Rescue flight". So that needs to be clarified. That aside, you need to add WP:Categories, and also your citations need to be fleshed out. Where the footnote says "Hansa - BBC News" (which tells us almost nothing about the specific article you're citing), it should instead say "Queen marks coastguard bravery. BBC.com, 18 February 2004." That way we know the title and date of the article, so even if the link changes we can still find it. You'll want to do that for each of your footnotes. The article looks interesting, and you've clearly put plenty of effort into it, it's just not explicit to a casual reader exactly what your topic is. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:47, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

List of minimum wages in China (PRC)[edit]

Hello. I've created this new artcile ("List of minimum wages in China (PRC)"), and have made it live. If possible, I would like to have someone review it. Would you please help?

Also, the article page does not have a "Categories" section. Would you please advise if that is needed? And if so, how do I create it?

Thank you very much!

Marcopolo112233 (talk) 13:14, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I've added categories for you; check the "History" tab and use the "Difference" buttons to see what coding I added. Looks good overall, but you need to fix the WP:Bare URLs and turn them into full citations. Check the Bare URL policy link, or look at the coding of the footnotes on any well-established WP article to see what I mean. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:30, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for your help. I will fix the URLs in the next day or so. Marcopolo112233 (talk) 15:15, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Jakeyboy1989/Queensland Young Greens[edit]

Just wanting to make sure this page is adequate enough to be accepted.

Cheers

Jakeyboy1989 (talk) 16:09, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Greetings, your draft is not yet ready to publish, so I've moved it to your userspace. Per Wikipedia:Notability (organizations and companies), you need multiple neutral 3rd party references to substantiate notability, whereas you have two links to the groups Facebook page. You need to establish that independent academics/journalists have produced in-depth material on your subject before it publishes. MatthewVanitas (talk) 18:42, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I've updated the links now. These references are no different to what other young wings of political parties use. Can you explain how other articles such as Young Labour, Young LNP and Young Greens of Sweden are any different to the article I am trying to move to the mainspace? Thanks for your assistance. Jakeyboy1989 (talk)

Not seeing any updated links; the only links on your draft are to Green websites. So far as other articles that don't have proper references, they're eligible for deletion at any point someone runs across them. The goal of RfF isn't for volunteers to help folks fake the funk into publication, we're genuinely here to help y'all make the best and most unassailable articles possible so that they won't be speedily deleted (like many first-time articles have been in the past), and as a result so new editors won't get discouraged when they get speedily deleted. Just bear with me here, find a few newspaper articles that cover the YGs from a neutral perspective and provide some additional info, footnote those, and you'll be solid. If you don't have outside references, it's not an encyclopedia article, it's just a self-description. MatthewVanitas (talk) 03:32, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Natriumchloratum/Contactless Atmospheric Pressure Ionization[edit]

I am a beginner. I would be grateful for your help editting my entries.

Natriumchloratum (talk) 16:12, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Jclewi/Curbside Value Partnership[edit]

Request for feedback - Thank you!

Jclewi (talk) 16:15, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Colbymorgan/Aspen Institute Initiative on Financial Security [edit]

I have reliable sources (www.aspeninstitute.org and www.aspenifs.org) and believe I've followed protocol with

to cite the article but am still coming up with citation errors. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated!

Colbymorgan (talk) 18:31, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Jaz Banga[edit]

I'm not sure if I've provided enough sources. Please give me any other feedback. I'm new to this.

TrinaMark (talk) 20:00, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The main thing you need to do is turn your footnotes into citations: footnote #16 "San Francisco Chronicle" tells us almost nothing and doesn't help at all in finding the article if its ever moved. "Banga Startup Off to Great Start. San Francisco Chronicle, 14 July 2008" tells us everything. See WP:Citations for details, but you want to do this to all your footnotes and external links. You also need to add WP:Categories (specific cats, not Business, Computers). Also, note the format change I made to your image: "gallery" is only for showing big groups of images. Also, don't bold or capitalise section titles, just type them naturally. MatthewVanitas (talk) 20:11, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Howardrandallsmith/Doris Buchanan Smith[edit]

Thank you editors for your valuable assistance. I have what I believe to be the final draft. But before I go "live" I wanted my article to have another chance at feedback. Thanks so much! Randy

Howardrandallsmith (talk) 20:13, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done Your categories were too broad, so I narrowed them, and added birth/death categories. Looks good to move to articlespace. MatthewVanitas (talk) 21:02, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

hyperhydricity[edit]

The article try to illustrate the importance of hyperhydricity in tissue culture. MY question is to ask if someone can edit some issues or topics mentioned here.

160.36.206.27 (talk) 20:40, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Made some minor format changes for you. You also need to add WP:Categories, as specific as possible, so not "Plants", "Water", etc. If you want help on subject-expert issues, you can probably ask at the Talk page of WP:WikiProject Botany. The main thing you want to fix is your footnotes; you've typed them manually, but WP has a nifty auto-footnoting feature which preserves all your footnote details even when new info is inserted (which would disrupt and require a full re-numbering of traditional footnotes). For details, see WP:Footnotes, and feel free to check back here if you have any trouble with them. MatthewVanitas (talk) 21:34, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]