Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/Archive19

Paul Welday

 Done

I am a new wikipedia editor looking for this article's validity to be accepted. What do I do? It is for Paul Welday. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Soccer4926 (talk • contribs) 02:24, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

I see one or two problems. See WP:CRYSTAL. This appears to be about someone who might be nominated or elected to office. I don't know whether announcing one's candidacy for office is sufficient for notability, but I kinda doubt it. (I'm not admin, I'm just an editor like you, so don't take this as gospel!)

There's also the issue of regional interest. If a person is running for a federal office, I think the person needs to be notable on their own until they actually win the race. Think of Al Franken of Minnesota (or Sonny Bono of CA, or Fred Grandy of IA). He had already established a notable career before running for the US Senate. I don't see notability yet for Mr. Welday. My 2 cents. BTW, remember to sign your entries. Dcs002 (talk) 11:52, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Your analysis is correct, please see WP:POLITICIAN. The article has been speedily deleted. – ukexpat (talk) 20:06, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Bog turtle

 Done

Bog turtle is being actively worked on and is getting closer to being GA quality. But it isn't there yet. If anyone is interested, could you make a comment or two regarding things you see in the article that are problematic (and things that are working). Cheers, Wassupwestcoast (talk) 02:53, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

2 comments: 1) This looks really good to me! You have high standards I think. 2) In the "Scientific Classification" section (taxonomy), class and order are missing. Any reason? Was it intentional? Again, I think this article looks really good. Nice pictures, and I like the endangered species scale graphic. Dcs002 (talk) 11:59, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for taking the time! Very good point about needing a taxonomy section. Cheers!Wassupwestcoast (talk) 15:12, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, we appreciate all the help we can get. I am going to check the taxonomy box right now. Thanks to both westcoast and Dcs002.--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 21:10, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

I have added the class and order on the page, again thanks for the feedback.--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 21:23, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for your help. --Merry Beth (talk) 16:52, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

Homeowners of Texas

 Done

How am I doing? Please check out Homeowners of Texas. It describes a non-profit that seeks to protect people from corporate abuse. I’m the Communications Director, so I had to work extra hard to be neutral and unbiased. In the spirit of full disclosure, I declared my potential Conflict of Interest in the DISCUSSION page, where I also address potential issues of notability and copyright. Is that the best place for that? I rewrote my original article (as a draft this time) to address issues raised by an administrator, andI hope I got it right this time with an article acceptable to the Wikipedia community. Thanks for your help. Wayne Caswell, Communications Director, Homeowners of Texas
(waynecaswell AT homeownersoftexas.org) TXhomeowner (talk) 03:59, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

I can see you've put a lot of thought into the notability issue, but unfortunately I don't think you've quite got it yet. I think it's still at risk for speedy deletion.

First of all, I don't think there should be a notability section per se in the article. Notability is established within the text of the article. But in the notability section, you cited your organization's website three times as the source for the good works your organization has accomplished. Articles about organizations can't cite themselves in order to establish notability. (Imagine a person doing that. They make their own website listing all the good things they've done, and then start a WP article about themselves, citing their own website as evidence of notability. People can't do that, and neither can organizations. It lacks verifiability.) The two remaining sources cited in that section are cited in support of the claim that two state agencies also criticized the TRCC. I didn't read through those sources (the first one I opened was 54 pages long), but unless they satisfy the notability criteria directly for your organization they won't work either.

Because of these issues, it still reads like a self-serving publicity piece. I don't think that's what you intended, but that's how it looks when an organization claims certain accomplishments and then cites itself as the source for those accomplishments.

I think your organization might very well be notable by WP standards. I just don't think you've established that yet. Look for news or magazine reports, maybe quotes by prominent people... If the organization is notable, it should be pretty easy to find this kind of documentation for it. Good luck! Dcs002 (talk) 11:37, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

And of course there is still the problem that TXhomeowner has a huge conflict of interest here. It is not an insurmountable problem, but will lead to the article receiving considerable scrutiny, as indeed it has in the past - it has been speedily deleted at least twice. TXhomeowner has also been blocked as a WP:SPAMNAME. – ukexpat (talk) 15:44, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Oops! I said "Look for news or magazine reports, maybe quotes by prominent people..." There are already news reports cited right below the paragraph I had commented on. Sorry!

However, the clear majority of citations still point to the organization's website. I think the problem still exists that it looks like a self-promotion piece. It might be best if you remove all information that's supported by citations pointing to the organization's website and see what you have left. Try to build the article based on existing media reports. Remember, verifiability usually requires that key information comes from sources other than the subject of the article itself. Dcs002 (talk) 11:13, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

Eric Gillette article

 Done

Hello, I am requesting feedback on an article I created, which can be located at Eric Gillette. I appreciate any pointers or criticisms that anyone could provide.

Joebjay20 (talk) 14:25, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Please take a look at the tags that have been placed on the draft. If moved to the mainspace in its current form, it would almost certainly be speedily deleted as advertising. – ukexpat (talk) 18:40, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Hi ukexpat,

I have made changes to the article and I would appreciate your assistance with further feedback.

Joebjay20 (talk) 16:06, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

This article still lacks notability IMO. A contributing author who owns his own business? I'm not at all as well versed in WP policies as ukexpat is, but my gut is telling me this article still isn't gonna make it based on notability, and it appears to me still as a promotion piece. Dcs002 (talk) 13:59, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

Novus Biologicals

 Done

Novus Biologicals - I created a new page for an international antibody company that has recently won a few awards. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

AmyChamberlain (talk) 19:28, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

First of all, as Product Marketing Manager for the company you have a huge conflict of interest and are strongly advised not to create or edit articles about the company, as it is very hard for you to mantain a neutral point of view. I have looked at the article and the tone is a little promotional, and you need some more reliable sources to support notability. Please take a look at WP:CORP and WP:FAQO.  – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Paper and Pulp Industry in Dryden

 Done

Hello all!

I have written an new article onPaper and Pulp Industry in Dryden. So, I am hoping that someone would take a look at it ,and hopefully someone give me any feedback for my article.

Thank you for your time!

User:MT0220 17:35, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Wikipedia does not use capital letters for common nouns in its article title - see WP:CAPS - so I have moved the article to Paper and pulp industry in Dryden, Ontario. In terms of content, it is fine. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:50, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

Elizabeth Needham article

 Done

Help!! There are so many choices I don't know where to go to comment on the article about Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper. I was actually looking to see what you had for Elizabeth Needham the First Fleet convict, and I was intrigued to see that Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper had the Earl of Winchelsea as a client. Was he the son or the husband of Lady Charlotte Finch? Elizabeth Needham the convict was born in 1762 Elizabeth Gore, the daughter of George Gore and his wife Elizabeth nee Lake. George was the coachman to Lady Charlotte Finch and Elizabeth their daughter, was brought up in their house. Elizabeth Gore married Henry Needham, a butcher, on 11 Feb 1782 and they had a child. Shc was convicted of stealing two pairs of silk stockings and transported to Australia for seven years, where she served her sentence and married three more times, becoming a useful and very wealthy member of the new colony. Having seen your article, I'm wondering if this Elizabeth Needham the brothel keeper could have been Elizabeth Gore's mother-in-law? Is there anything known about her possible children? Merilyn Pedrick Aldgate South Australia —Preceding unsigned comment added by 118.210.255.218 (talk) 02:17, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

Wikipedia has a reference desk (click WP:RD) for questions like this. Go there and click the Humanities link to ask your question. Dcs002 (talk) 11:22, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

Popup camper

 Done

Popup camper I created a new article about popup campers, a popular type of recreational vehicle. This is my first article, so advice is appreciated. Korey99 (talk) 15:06, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

I think overall it looks nice -- much better than my first article. Just three things: Did you license the photos properly? (They look great, illustrate the topic very well.) And did you mean to say AC to DC converters instead of DC to AC? (I'm not a camper -- I don't know. It's just that if they have deep cycle batteries and you want to run AC items, it would be the other way around. Again, I ask because I don't know.) Finally, just concerning visual appearance, it seems that most of the article space is taken up with lists. I personally think that makes it a bit clunky to read. Hope this helps! Dcs002 (talk) 10:56, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the help! The photos are all my own work, and I submitted them to Wikimedia commons. Only one of them got a request for "permission" though. The AC to DC is actually correct (it's a device to get DC power when plugged in). About the lists - Do you think I should collapse them into paragraph form? That is the way I originally had it. Thanks for all the comments! As an aside, I'd love if someone could help getting my image annotations to work on the article page, but I'll seek help through a more appropriate forum. --Korey99 (talk) 22:59, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

Well, remember I'm kinda new at editing too, but I think the lists of features would look better if they were trimmed down and put back into paragraph form, with sentences that give just a few examples at each level, such as "Low price models might include features such as..., while mid-range models might offer features like... For more extravagant amenities, such as..., customers can expect to pay top dollar." I don't think every available feature needs to be mentioned (though I'm sure there are more that you already left out). I'm just giving an opinion as a person who loves to read WP articles, not as someone with a lot of expertise in this kind of writing. And thanks for clarifying the AC to DC thing. :o) Good luck also with your photo annotations. I'm afraid I'm not the guy to ask. Dcs002 (talk) 14:21, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

The Cameron Knowles Show

 Done

The Cameron Knowles Show Knowlamp (talk) 19:00, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

A good draft article. I think it is ready to be moved into main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:55, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

Are you serious that there's no page for the Bill O'Reilly show???? Xcviii (talk) 01:21, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Sears Hometown Stores

 Done

SearsHTS/Sears Hometown Stores

SearsHTS (talk) 22:03, 21 November 2009 (UTC) SearHTS November 21, 2009

Your draft article is not ready for main article space yet, because it has no sources. I have moved it back to your user space, User:SearsHTS/Sears Hometown Stores. In addition, your choice of user name indicates that you may have a conclict of interest when writing about this company, in which case it may be inappropriate for you to be writing this article at all. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:09, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

μWatch

 Done

I have just written a brief article on an unusual DIY watch called the User:NigelFraserKer/μWatch. I'm cautious about the fact that the name includes the symbol "μ" and therefore may cause problems with people searching for it...perhaps the title should be "μWatch or uWatch"?

NigelFraserKer (talk) 11:19, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

While this watch sounds fantastic, I'm afraid the article reads like an advertisement. That plus notability problems might easily make this an article for speedy deletion if moved to the main space. Dcs002 (talk) 14:27, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

When you say it reads like an advertisement, is there any guidance to make it sound less advert-like? (I deliberately avoided any subjective language - there are only facts.) I agree that it would be good to establish the notability better...I'll look into this one. NigelFraserKer (talk) 15:37, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

See WP:SPAM, WP:N and WP:RS.  – ukexpat (talk) 22:58, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

I don't know if you've made changes since the last comment, but it seems very factual and non-advert-esque. However, until you bulk it up with some notability stuff, it is premature to publish. Xcviii (talk) 01:19, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Tarif Khalidi

 Done

Tarif Khalidi Tarif Khalidi http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Angiebean1256/Tarif_Khalidi&oldid=327104465

Angiebean1256 (talk) 11:53, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

A good article. I have removed the unreviewed tag. Gandalf61 (talk) 10:51, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Corby & Baily

I am looking for feedback and guidance on the above article on British Artists Corby and Baily.

Corby & Baily

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corby_%26_Baily

Many thanks. Mothas

(Mothas (talk) 18:07, 22 November 2009 (UTC))

This reads like a resume. After reading it, I would not be able to tell a Corby & Bailey work if it hit me in the face. What movement does it belong to? What are their influences? Whom did they influence? How can their work be identified as opposed to that of other artists? Xcviii (talk) 01:14, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Camp Mar-Y-Mac

 Done

This is the first article I have ever posted. It is based on original research about a camp that I attended and worked at which fell prey to a growth-driven hydroelectric project. Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_Mar-Y-Mac_Dinkey_Creek,_California The article title is Camp Mar-Y-Mac Dinkey Creek, California

I would greatly appreciate feedback; one question I have is why does the last part of the article appear unformatted in a box--is it too long? Thanks. Dulcie Chatwood Dulcie2c (talk) 01:49, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

I have removed the unreviewed tag. I have also fixed the formatting problem that you mentioned - if you start a paragraph with a space then Wikipedia does not wrap the text in the paragraph. Easily fixed by removing initial spaces in paragraphs. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:00, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

I have moved the article to Camp Mar-Y-Mac - the location is not necessary in the title. I have also removed the personal recollections as references. Personal recollections are not reliable sources as defined on Wikipedia. I also have concerns about notability generally. Only a couple of the sources cited would appear to be relevant to the notability of the camp, as opposed to the ups and downs of the hydroelectric project, so I think we need more sources dealing with the camp itself. – ukexpat (talk) 18:38, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

If there are any court cases involving the camp, that might be a good notability reason (public record) to maintain this page. Xcviii (talk) 01:11, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

North Wilkesboro Fire Department

 Done

Looking for feedback on a new page relating to the User:Nwfd/North_Wilkesboro_Fire_Department. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Nwfd (talk) 05:39, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

I think you have some notability issues here. Please read WP:ORG, WP:FAQO and WP:RS - in order to meet notability requirements you will need to show significant coverage in reliable sources, the FD's own website doesn't count I am afraid. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

Jonathan Westhues

 Done

Jonathan Westhues http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Westhues

This entry needs to be reviewed to update its "new, unreviewed" status. Thanks.

Wkp123 (talk) 11:30, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

I think that an article about a person should be biographical, and thus it should have a section on early life and family life, education, stuff like that. Not just a curriculum vita (or resume). I've got many more academic publications than that, & I'm certainly not notable. He seems marginally notable -- I can't say one way or the other. Good luck! Dcs002 (talk) 14:44, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

Sears Hometown Stores (2)

 Done

Sears Hometown Stores

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sears_Hometown_Stores

Shaunak Dave Nov 24, 2009Shaunakhdave (talk) 18:34, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

It is still way too spammy and has been tagged for speedy deletion. Please read WP:YFA, WP:CORP, WP:FAQO, WP:RS and WP:SPAM. – ukexpat (talk) 18:49, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

This page reads as if I'm reading off the sears.com website.. didn't check, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's copy-pasted considering the first-person style. Find outside sources and make the article neutral instead of promoting Sears so much (Actsoccer (talk) 19:05, 24 November 2009 (UTC))

Temple Touch Thermometer

 Done

I could really use someone's help editing the User:Grchapman5/Temple Touch Thermometer page I have created. I have done the best I can to ensure that the article is written from a neutral perspective devoid of any sales bias. Any and all comments you guys could send my direction would be great as I want to launch the page soon without running the risk of speedy deletion. Thanks in advance for your help.

Sincerely,

Graham Chapman <e-mail redacted> Grchapman5 (talk) 19:22, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

We still have some big issues here. The draft still reads like a promotional piece for the product and its manufacturer and I suspect that, had it been in the mainspace, it would not have survived the speedy deletion nomination. Are you associated with 919 Marketing Company and if so, does that company provide marketing services for this product? If so, you have a huge conflict of interest and are directed to read WP:COI. In addition, the images in the article that have been uploaded to Commons do not show any evidence of permission from the copyright owner and have been tagged as such. If this product really is notable someone will write an article about it sooner or later. Please also take a look at WP:YFA, WP:CORP, WP:FAQO and WP:RS. – ukexpat (talk) 20:01, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

Seriously...this needs a lot of work. You need to omit all references to where it can be purchased and who markets it. Imagine you are describing the device to somebody who has never heard about it. That's what your article should say. You should also say how it works/science behind it, and whether it has been FDA approved (or whatever agency). You should also cite links to newspaper articles talking about why this device is important. You also need to delete the promotional section about Medism. Xcviii (talk) 01:06, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Grooming Lounge

 Done

User:Bluelinenine/Grooming Lounge is an article that I recently posted and I'm looking for feedback.

Thanks, Adam

Bluelinenine (talk) 21:53, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

I think your draft article needs more third party sources to demonstrate notability. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:31, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Corinne Kempa

 Done

Corinne Kempa

[[1]]

Andybuiadh (talk) 22:13, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

Your draft article is very short. It needs to be longer, and it needs to show that this actress is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:32, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Shared Hope International

 Done

I just created a page for User:Karinandrew/Shared Hope International and was wondering if anyone could look at it and give me feedback or tips. Thanks!! Karinandrew (talk) 22:31, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

Your draft article is looking good. I think it is ready to be moved to main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:36, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

User:GregBeaver/Chiara Quartet

 Done

User:GregBeaver/Chiara Quartet User:GregBeaver/Chiara Quartet

GregBeaver (talk) 06:31, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Not a bad attempt. I think this could go into the mainspace with just a little bit of work. I did not see articles on quartets that are highly assesed but it looks like you might have shown that the general notability guidelines are met.

• Sources

• More coverage such as this review to assert notability. Sources like this will improve the article. Without these, notability is questionable.
• cdbaby.com and smsclassical.com really are not appropriate reliable sources. Since they are sales, it comes across promotional which gets new articles deleted.
• Throw the citations into templates. See [Wikipedia:Citing sources/example style|examples]]. For reviews, Template:Cite news is a good template.

• Layout

• The layout needs to be changed. See Wikipedia:Layout.
• The lead should be a summary. The lead should not go into any detial that is not expanded upon in the main body. Try moving most of that into a new "History" section. The following section could go into that section as paragraphs or subsections as well.
• The discography should be part of a "Works" section which should come after the prose and before the "References". I recommend taking it out of the table and putting it in the format seen here A good format is:

• Title (year), label – notes

• The external links needs to be trimmed. See what should be linked, maybe linked, and not linked. For example: The Brick, Kansas City does not provide a unique resource needed in this article. The line in the body is sufficient.
• Other

• "In this and the following season, the quartet will be performing all 16 of Ludwig van Beethoven's string quartets at Harvard University, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Music at Deerfield in Northampton, MA.": This isn't their webpage. It is an encyclopedic article so watch out for promotion. Something like this could be in but needs to be worded as if it was not going to be updated "In the 2009 and 2010,..." See Wikipedia:Manual of Style#Chronological items.
• I'm not terribly familiar with the topic. What is "Quartet-in-residence". Write the article so that those unfamiliar with the topic can fully grasp the subject. Wikilinks might help, too.
• This] is a good mention from a critic. OK for the article but should not be in an "Award" section.
• "Club Premieres project." does not need to be bolded. See Wikipedia:Manual of Style (text formatting). There are other minor things that I can grab if you want. Years need en dashes for example (2009–2010)

Cptnono (talk) 00:19, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

Chandka Medical College

 Done

Chandka Medical College i have wriiten this article for first time, plz check wether the Refrences i have given are considerable or not. i should also mention here that i myself am a student f Chandka Medical College. Dr.Schayan (talk) 10:22, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Your draft article at User:Dr.Schayan/new article name here still needs a lot of work. You need to improve the grammar and spelling in the article. You need to improve its layout and format - look at how other Wikipedia article are formatted, and try to make yours look the same. Most importantly, you need to provide references to third party sources which demonstrate the notability of the college; a single link to the college's own website is not enough to show notability. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:05, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Jewel Kid

 Done

Requests for feedback on new article Jewel Kid please

Xer014 (talk) 11:14, 25 November 2009 (UTC) xer014 25/11/09 Xer014 (talk) 11:14, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

The article has been speedily deleted as spam. Please see WP:Spam. – ukexpat (talk) 18:40, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Dynamic Language

 Done

Dynamic Language

The article is based on a communications company based in Seattle, WA. They focus on translations and etc. Their article should asses their credibility. Thank you for helping edit this page!

DynamicDLC (talk) 14:49, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

The article has been proposed for deletion. – ukexpat (talk) 18:26, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Richard H. Bernstein

 Done

I just wrote my first Wikipedia entry on Richard H. Bernstein after seeing him speak at a conference earlier in the month. Any feedback that you could offer for improving this piece would be most appreciated! --Edtechgal (talk) 15:24, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

I have reviewed and removed the "unreviewed" template. It does still read a little like a curriculum vitae, so the tone may need some work. – ukexpat (talk) 18:49, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

user:emiliephelps/Daniel Lorenzetti

I've created a page about the documentary photographer Daniel Lorenzetti at user:emiliephelps/Daniel Lorenzetti, who is an author of The Birth of Coffee. I'm not sure if all aspects of his career are considered notable (his contributions to the technology and the internet seem worthy in my opinion), or just his documentary work. I'm ready to hear any and all feedback! Thanks, Emiliephelps (talk) 19:17, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Mcs102/Zina Saro-Wiwa

 Done

Hello,

I am looking for feedback for an article I have created as a subpage (User:Mcs102/Zina Saro-Wiwa). I've read the tutorials and help pages, and would like to hear if there is anything I should do before moving the article to a public page.

Thanks very much.

Mcs102 (talk) 23:58, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

I have reviewed the draft and I think it is ready to move to the main space. Let me know if you need assistance with this. Also, some additional third party references will be necessary - when it's moved it will be tagged as requiring additional sources. – ukexpat (talk) 19:16, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

I moved it for you to Zina Saro-Wiwa. – ukexpat (talk) 18:50, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

Complication

 Done

The problem remains at least for me and a few other people is that Wikipedia blocks are insufficient. It's very easy to find an open proxy list and change your proxy server and port number in a matter of minutes. Thanks! South Bay (talk) 00:57, 26 November 2009 (UTC)

This is not the correct forum for this discussion, please try WP:VPP. – ukexpat (talk) 19:17, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Linnda Durré

 Done

Linnda Durré Just want some advice on how I can improve it. Thanks. User:Tnegron14/Linnda Durré --Tnegron14 (talk) 04:17, 26 November 2009 (UTC)

I have taken a look at the draft and I think the subject probably meets our notability guidelines. However, the article should be broken down into sections - please peruse WP:LAYOUT and WP:MOSBIO. The article also requires some third party reliable sources to support notability. – ukexpat (talk) 19:24, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Russian Scientist Valery Dudyshev

Hello. I am new to Wikipedia and wrote an article about Russian scientist Valery Dudyshev. As of now, I left the entry on my talk page User:Ruye and I would appreciate it, if you could take a look at it and see if it meets Wikipedia's criteria. I am very grateful for your help. Thank you very much! Ruye (talk) 21:02, 26 November 2009 (UTC) Ruye

Hello once more. Since I don't want to add to the long list of entries, I'll just attach this to the first question. The article I wrote is now published under Valery Dudyshev and I would really appreciate some feedback. Thank you very much in advance. Ruye (talk) 19:33, 3 December 2009 (UTC)Ruye

Naz Foundation v. National Capital Territory of Delhi

 Done

Naz Foundation v. National Capital Territory of Delhi

Hi, I noticed that this important recent decision was linked on several Wikipedia pages, but no article exists as yet. I have tried to scrupulously follow Wikipedia guidelines, but since this is my first full length article, I may have gone astray. I would be really grateful for any feedback. Thanks in advance! Sroyon (talk) 21:52, 26 November 2009 (UTC)

Congratulations on your first full length article. Better than my first attempt for sure! A few things:

• There is already a Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code article. Do you think the case deserves its own article or would it be better merged? I think that this amount of of content may disrupt the weight of the main article and I have been surprised before at how well legal articles come together. however, it looks like there is the risk of the articles duplicating themselves to a certain extent. That would be the only barrier to it going into the main space that I can see so I'll leave that up to you.
• It looks like you accidentally said the exact opposite f what you meant (or this is some new sort of vandalism ;) ) with "This phrase was interpreted to mean all forms of sexual activity other than homosexual penile-vaginal." did you mean "heterosexual" Try: "...heterosexual penile-vaginal intercourse".
• Is "160 (2009) DLT 277" the appropriate citation template? I don't recognize the format.
• Do you have the sources available to add an "Arguments" section? It seems to be lacking content since it jumps from Background to Judgment.
• The blockquote may not be long enough for a blockquote (see: WP:MOSQUOTE) but I'm not sure.
• "It should be noted..." is something to avoid (see WP:EDITORIAL). Don't note it just say it.
• "Activists[15],..." should be "Activists,[15]...".

I'm sure there are other minor things but I feel the biggest next step is adding some content to the actual legal proceedings. I personally wouldn't object to this going live. Consider taking a look at the best of the best (according to WikiProject Law's Category:FA-Class legal articles) and some of the other cases seen at Category:GA-Class legal articles. Consider checking out [Wikipedia:WikiProject Law/Assessment]] if this is moved into the main space.Cptnono (talk) 04:01, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your kind words and your meticulous and helpful feedback. It is extremely appreciated. I will address your suggestions in order:

• I think the decision was important enough to merit a separate article. I'll just take your advice and move it into mainspace, and let's see what the community thinks.
• Whoops! Huge blooper. Corrected that.
• Sorry about that. I am now using the citation template for court decisions.
• I have lots of sources for an "Arguments" section; I didn't add it only because I feared it might make the article too long and tedious. However, since you advise it, I will add the section.
• I have removed the blockquote formatting.
• Changed that too.

I'm moving it to mainspace now. Thanks again!Sroyon (talk) 10:00, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

mainspace:Rapid Tears - the History of

Mainspace:Rapid Tears - the History of

Requesting feedback please

Michael J. Miller 18:00, 27 November 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mickstars5 (talk • contribs)

Environmental Health Foundation of Canada (EHFC)

 Done

Environmental Health Foundation of Canada (EHFC) Hello to all you great volunteers. I am trying to post this information and I keep going around in circles. I guess I have to edit a few more in order to be able to post it. Can you please tell me if this is an acceptable addition. I am Vice chair of the foundation and a volunteer as well. And learning how to do this. I need to report back to the others if it is not acceptable. Thank you for your time. --Shenwiki (talk) 19:11, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

I did not read it, but in general it's "dangerous" to edit on a subject you are closely connected or linked with, as it may cloud your NPOV. I would say that a vice chair is never a good judge of a NPOV. Also, you may be prone to include original/own research. Jalwikip (talk) 14:55, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Zameer_Rizvi

Just correcting the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Samuel.chaudry1/Zameer_Rizvi —Preceding unsigned comment added by Samuel.chaudry1 (talk • contribs) 22:31, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

Hi,

I have written an article about musician Zameer Rizvi Zameer_Rizvi. I would appreciate your feedback.

User:Samuel.chaudry1/Zameer_Rizvi

Thanks, Samuel

Samuel.chaudry1 (talk) 21:10, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

Not bad. Xcviii (talk) 00:55, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

German Gymnasium http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gymnasium_(Germany)

Gymnasium (Germany) So that would be very kind of you if you could proof the article and tell me: 1. If that article makes sense to you 2. If you have questions about the school that have not been answered by the article 3. If I should add some stuff about scientific studies dealing with the Gymnasium. Recently a lot of studies about Gymnasium and social class have been done and this is a "hot topic" in my home country... but I am not sure if that is so interesting for people from other countries and I already covered it in the article (did not cover the studies, but covered what political parties said about Gymnasium and social class). Thank you very much.--212.201.83.59 (talk) 21:37, 27 November 2009 (UTC) PS: That article was not written by me. I only contributed to it.--212.201.83.59 (talk) 21:39, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

Would be also nice if you could tell me, if I prensented both sides in a fair light, when I wrote about that political discussion.--212.201.83.59 (talk) 22:26, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

Forgotten Fish Memory Orchestra

please can you provide feedback and guidance on this page. Forgotten Fish Memory Orchestra (FFMO) have been a notable phenomenon in Global Music and art theatre in the Netherlands and throughout Europe for the last ten years. Can you let me know if the article as it stands shows notability? If so and it can be made a Wiki page how do I upload images? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Vidura108 (talk • contribs) 03:25, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Le Butcherettes

 Done

Le Butcherettes Please provide feedback for this page. It's a Mexican underground rock-punk band growing in the Mexican scene. I use references mostly from important Mexican Newspapers and official sites from a music fest and some Awards, one known blog from Red Bull and a photo page from a known photographer from Mexico. Of course they're all in spanish. The importance of this band also relies on being directly linked with three other bands artists known all over the world and might be interesting to lots of people. Thanks!

CarlosOm (talk) 03:38, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

• Consider adding a "Musical style" section from information in the current "History" section. Joy Division and Tool (band) are FA class articles and have variances of such a section. For additional FA articles related to bands check out Tool (band). See the best of the best at Category:FA-Class Rock music articles for ideas on how to improve your layout. Nice work following a decent layout, already, though.
• It could be argued that the general notability guideline or (if necessary) the band specific notability guideline are not met. Sources need improvement. More are needed to both assert notability and expand the article. I also recommend finding some English sources if you can since it will make verification easier and editors will be less likely to call for deletion.

• Blogs are typically not OK. They can be OK if writers are professionals and the blog is subject to appropriate vetting from an editorial staff. See Wikipedia:Reliable sources#Self-published and questionable sources and double-check to see if this is really a proper source
• The same La Jornada is used twice. Add "ref name" in the citation template. Speaking of citation templates, use them. See: Wikipedia:Referencing for beginners
• Does indieomusicawards.com.mx say they are the most prestigious award? Wording like that needs an independent source or a wikilink to a sourced article about the award.
• tono.tv looks like pretty pictures but is not a good source
• I assume El Universal (Mexico City) and La Jornada are OK but I don't speak Spanish and a few more should be provided to ensure that there is significant coverage.

• It could use some grammar and spell check work. I changed "recluted" to "recruited" (I assumed let me know if that is wrong) and noticed that it doesn't read as clean as it could. For example: "A difference on the band's direction led Auryn Jolene to abruptly leave the band claiming the end of it leading to media confusion." is a little jumbled.
• Per WP:ELNO, links to social networking sites are to be avoided. Cptnono (talk) 11:40, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Moved discussion to Talk:Le ButcherettesCptnono (talk) 12:42, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Request for review of highly time-sensitive content for LGBT community tradition

 Done

I am a new user and after taking the time to do a lot of research I finally created a page for the bridge of light, the gay new year.

But your system said I couldn't upload it because it was an autobiography!

What's up?

I moved it to a user page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bridgeoflight/Bridge_of_light

Thanks for taking a look & letting me know if this is ready for publishing. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bridgeoflight (talk • contribs) 09:52, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Please find sources independent of the subject to assert notability. For something like this, I would recommend doing some google news archive searches to see if significant coverage is available from newspapers, magazines, or other reputable sources. It also comes across like a fan page with the list of principles. There are also concerns with general formatting, especially the citations. Take a look at Wikipedia:Your first article. You mentioned it in your edit summary so keep in mind that there is not a legitimate reason for this to be time sensitive. Best of luck and please let me know if you need a hand with reviewing sources.

Sign your posts with 4 of these:~~~~. Cptnono (talk) 10:18, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Fastflow (Computer Science)

Please take a look at Fastflow (Computer Science) article. It needs reveiewing by someone other than myself. Fastflow is a C++ template library implementing lock-free communications and synchronisations. Fastflow-based applications are particularly fast on multi-core machine. We tested it against may programming environment for multi-core, including OpenMP, Intel TBB, Posix threads, Cilk. In our experiments, Fastflow always demonstrated to be faster than all of them. Any question or comment is welcome.

Aldinuc (talk) 16:27, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Shield349/Greensulate

 Done

Greensulate : User:Shield349/Greensulate Hey I would like to get some helpful feedback on that page, My previous post had quite a tragic fate, so i'm trying to make sure i get everything right this time around.

Shield349 (talk) 19:06, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

I put a reply on your talk page Richard-of-Earth (talk) 18:54, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Lets_Play_Live

 Done

Axikal (talk) 23:37, 28 November 2009 (UTC) The following is my first attempt at posting a Wikipedia article. It's about a webshow series that I've been hosting, and gives a brief (and soon to be elabourated) account on the creation of the series, where the series can be seen, and any other details about said series. I'd like to know what could be refined on this page, if possible. Thanks.

• You need to establish notability of the subject. See also WP:ORG and WP:FAQO.
• For people who know little about the internet, your article would be confusing. Internal links would help, so they could read about things mentioned like Web series, live-streaming, Perhaps you need to create an article about "Let's Play" genre of gaming internet movies as I can't figure out what it is. Richard-of-Earth (talk) 19:20, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

If it is moved to the mainspace in its current form it would almost certainly be speedily deleted as not showing the importance or significance of the subject matter. – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

DJ Frank E

 Done

DJ Frank E User:Chrismarez/DJ Frank E Looking for feedback on this article before I request it to be moved. Any help is appreciated.

Chrismarez (talk) 01:24, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

I cleaned it up a little, but you will need some better sources - blogs are not generally regarded as reliable sources per WP:RS. If notability can be supported by better sources, I will move it for you. – ukexpat (talk) 17:36, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

And there is still a potential copyvio issue - the text is very close to http://artistpublishinggroup.com/djfranke/  – ukexpat (talk) 17:40, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Peter Grubb, Jr.

Peter Grubb, Jr.

This article is IMO ready to go live. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

LynnSGrubb (talk) 04:17, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

User:LynnSGrubb/Peter Grubb, Jr. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Jehu Grubb

Jehu Grubb is ready to go live. Any comments to improve it would be appreciated.

LynnSGrubb (talk) 04:18, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Looking forward to get help for improvment of this article. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 195.229.235.40 (talk) 06:57, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

User:LynnSGrubb/Jehu Grubb – ukexpat (talk) 17:16, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Society for Mormon Philosophy and Theology

 Done

Society for Mormon Philosophy and Theology is ready to go live. Any comments are welcome; I was a DMOZ editor over ten years ago, and am rusty.

Of note: I do not like the way I linked internal pages of the same website for such a small article, so if there is a Best Practice to avoid this, please advise.

Thanks!

Wr!ter (talk) 07:07, 29 November 2009 (UTC)wr!ter

At the moment the draft says nothing about the notability of the subject. Please take a look at WP:ORG and WP:FAQO. You will need some reliable, third party, sources per WP:RS to establish notability. – ukexpat (talk) 17:12, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Zebra_Mix!

 Done

Hello,

Clearly, this is my first attempt here, and I don't think I've even entered the article title correctly, but I don't understand the directions. I apologize in advance for any confusion.

Any and all constructive criticism is very welcome.

I plan on adding a picture and a chart with the basic company overview: founders names, contact info, logo, industry, etc... but have not figured out how to do that yet.

Thank You!!

Ndaley (talk) 08:38, 29 November 2009 (UTC)NDaley 11/29/09

At the moment the draft is way too promotional in tone and does not state how or why the subject is notable - please see WP:CORP and WP:FAQO. You will need to cite reliable sources to support claims of notability. – ukexpat (talk) 16:51, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

User:KevinBTheobald/CFEOM

 Done

This is my first crack at Wikipedia writing (it's not live yet), so apologies if I missed something. I just wrote a brief summary because there are good definitive sources on the web; I summarized and gave links and references to those sources. That would probably be better than my trying to rewrite their papers. What do you think? KevinBTheobald (talk) 10:31, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

• Please, rewrite their papers! I'm thinking articles should be complete on Wikipedia. But you can create this as a stub for others to contribute to. (See WP:Stub) Put the template {{genetic-disorder-stub}} at or close to the end. Also, the title should be the full name, not the abbreviation. See MOS:ABBR to see how to make a redirect page from the abbreviation to the main page. Richard-of-Earth (talk) 19:56, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

wiki: Izzat Traboulsi

 Done

Hello, thanks in advance for your help. My questions are: How do i include a table of contents? How do i add my page in a portal: Category:Politicians? and for some reason when i search for the wiki without caps eg. "Izzat traboulsi" it does not find the article. As for the content, i know there is not much references, so i need a little time to gather sources. I would appreciate any other feedback and help with formatting. Thanks

Izzat_Traboulsi —Preceding unsigned comment added by Kartra (talk • contribs) 14:48, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

You need to break up the article into sections. The TOC will be automatically generated when the article has at least 3 sections. I have added some relevant categories for you. – ukexpat (talk) 16:48, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Hbfree/Russell W Freeburg

I would appreciate feedback on my posting on User:Hbfree/Russell W Freeburg

Thank you.

--Hbfree (talk) 00:48, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Your links section is empty (except for the placeholder). I'm sure the author has a website. Or perhaps you could post a link to his book. Xcviii (talk) 00:47, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

BTW...I just noticed you are posting about yourself. That is against the posting rules. Xcviii (talk) 00:48, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Micskeiz/SecureChange

I created a wikipage for our research projects, I would appreciate some feedback on it: User:Micskeiz/SecureChange

Thanks, Micskeiz (talk) 10:18, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

You say "our projects"; what is your connection to SecureChange? --Orange Mike | Talk 02:29, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

I'm a researcher working on that project. For this reason I tried to add external references to scientific papers to support every claim in the article. Let me know if you think there is a notability problem, or something is not properly backed up by external references. Micskeiz (talk) 09:02, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

Laura Hamilton

Created a page on Nickelodeon Presenter Laura Hamilton wanted a simple subject for my first article. User:Rgjjunior/Laura Hamilton. Thanks, Rgjjunior (talk) 12:00, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Lisaanimal/NEADS/Dogs for Deaf and Disabled Americans

User:Lisaanimal/NEADS/Dogs for Deaf and Disabled Americans

This is a request to review the draft page for NEADS/Dogs for Deaf and Disabled Americans. Your feedback on whether this article meets Wikipedia's requirements is appreciated.

Thanks, Lisa

--Lisaanimal (talk) 15:44, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

It reads like an advertisement for the charity. I would like to see more about the historical significance of the company. Was it part of an international movement? Are there any famous events/people associated with it? Did it spark something other than itself? I think that as-is it violates the terms, but you could turn it into a valid page. Xcviii (talk) 00:46, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

American Songwriter (magazine)

Request feedback for http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Remyrb/American_Songwriter_%28magazine%29

User:Remyrb/American_Songwriter_(magazine)

Remyrb (talk) 21:01, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Why is it important? Are there any historical events involving it? Xcviii (talk) 00:43, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

BodyFit Wellness

I would appreciate feedback on this article. Thanks in advance for your time and effort.

User:Rumorad/BodyFit-Wellness by Coni Judge

Rumorad (talk) 22:57, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

So not appropriate. Buy yourself a webpage. Xcviii (talk) 00:42, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Tongal

I would appreciate some feedback regarding the following article Tongal.

Thank you for your time and effort.

Fightonfortroy (talk) 00:38, 1 December 2009 (UTC) 11/30/09 fightonfortroy

This article does not appear to meet the general notability guideline or the company specific guideline. You need significant coverage in secondary sources. Such sources must be reliable, and independent of the subject. The sources that at first look to have promise due to who they are (such as Wired or BusinessWeek ) are about crowdsourcing and not Tongal. It also appears to be more promotional than encyclopedic. Please provide that or the article may be deleted. Customers such as Lending Tree are not appropriate sources to establish notability. PC Mag looks to be a step in the right direction. Formatting wise, bold is misused, citations are duplicated, there is no lead, etc. This should all be addressed after notability is established.Cptnono (talk) 02:36, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Philliton/Draft_of_Refugees_in_Nepal

This article is about refugees living in Nepal, a subject that gets a considerable amount of media attention, but is barely mentioned by any Wikipedia article.

Its my first article and will undoubtedly contain errors, but I've done my best to read the guidelines and make this concise, well-referenced, objective, and notable.

Thanks in advance for your time!

Philliton (talk) 05:55, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Pdxgroup/LED Tattoo - New Article for a Class Project

Hi everyone,

We are (username: pdxgroup) a 4 person group from Portland State University and an requirement of the class we are currently taking is to create a new article or add substantial content to an existing article on Wikipedia. Our group has chosen the topic of LED Tattoo; which is a new and upcoming technology. It is a interesting article and our group needs some feedback on the new article we created.

Here's a link to a page named LED Tattoo

We would greatly appreciate your assistance. Thank you!

pdxgroup 10:24, 1 December 2009 (UTC) pdxgroup —Preceding unsigned comment added by Pdxgroup (talk • contribs)

Since group accounts are not permitted here, I've had to block this account. I've tagged the article itself for some of its problems. --Orange Mike | Talk 16:11, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

It will be helpful for you to read Wikipedia:School and university projectsSPhilbrickT 22:53, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

That is a really cool topic. I am glad you guys posted it (even if a group account is not permitted). I guess one of you can just repost it under your own name. This article is screaming for a photo. Xcviii (talk) 00:41, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

webceo

Webceo User:Pellacia/webceo

Hello everyone, I need some feedback on the article about a developer of the software Web CEO. Any help will be appreciated

Pellacia (talk) 12:27, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Neveln/Anthony Morse

 Done

I can't find the draft of a submission that I was working on. I used the save button while in the Article Wizard but I had not confirmed my registration at that time(although I have since confirmed it). —Preceding unsigned comment added by Neveln (talk • contribs) 14:23, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

Unfortunately it was never saved and is lost unless the web browser screen you are using or still have open still has it in its memory and you can click back enough times to retrieve it. Your entire edit history is here and you have no deleted contributions. This can happen for a number of reasons, most commonly in my experience because a person has the edit screen open for a long time and when they click "save page" it says something like "there has been a loss of data session". My advice to you is to always highlight text you've been working on and save it to your computer's clipboard (ctrl+v) (or an offline document if a large amount of text) before submitting. Wish I had better news.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 14:31, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

There is a draft in your user space at User:Neveln/Anthony Morse. I have taken a look at it and I think that it is ready to move to the mainspace, so I have done that for you - Anthony Morse. – ukexpat (talk) 15:20, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

Michelle Valentine (TV Host)

Michelle Valentine (TV Host) User:Michelle Valentine/Michelle Valentine (TV Host)

I'm looking for feedback regarding the article I have edited for Michelle Valentine the TV Host. She is not the same Michelle Valentine (author) that already has an article.

Michelle Valentine (talk) 20:07, 1 December 2009 (UTC)Hannah Farber

The draft does not indicate how or why Ms Valentine is notable per WP:BIO. Without reliable sources to evidence claims of notability, the draft is destined to be deleted if moved to the mainspace. If you are in some way connected to Ms Valentine, please also read WP:COI. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:25, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

The alleged "television show" seems to be a YouTube channel and possibly public access program, best I can decipher from the seemingly deliberate vagueness. --Orange Mike | Talk 20:47, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

Soundwave Festival SF

Hello I appreciate any feedback on Soundwave Festival SF Soundwave Festival SF. It's super short and just a start. Many thanks Sweetsurly (talk) 00:16, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

Hi Sweetsurly.

• It looks like someone moved it to Soundwave Festival (San Francisco) per the naming conventions.
• It is short but should be easy enough to expand upon with he amount of sources that appear (haven't gone through them yet) to be available. Keep in mind that the lead is supposed to be a summary of the article and then the article should be broken into subsections. I poked around for some highly assessed music festival articles but didn't come up with much. For inspiration and ideas on what layout works, take a look at other articles found at the List of music festivals (double check their status on each article's talk page before relying on it too much).
• We do not follow branding when it is ALLCAPS. These should be reduced to sentence/title case in the references and auricle body. See MOS:ALLCAPS and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (trademarks)
• Format the references. I prefer templates but you can do it by hand. Check out Wikipedia:Citing sources/example style.

Looks like there is a good base to expand upon so nice work.Cptnono (talk) 23:18, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

CosmoGirl Toronto/Josie Dye

User: CosmoGirl Toronto/Josie Dye[[2]] I have written a new article for Josie Dye. She is already listed as one of CFNY's on-air personalities and shows up as a redirect for searches made on her name. The information currently listed is limited. I have created a main article for Josie Dye as was done for radio personality Alan Cross. I would appreciate any help in moving this page. CosmoGirl Toronto 22:08, 2 December 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by CosmoGirl Toronto (talk • contribs)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sarasepidzadeh/ShabnamRezaei

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sarasepidzadeh/ShabnamRezaei

[[3]] user:sarasepidzadeh Sarasepidzadeh (talk) 01:22, 3 December 2009 (UTC) --Sarasepidzadeh (talk) 01:22, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

mustardyellow/space2

user:Mustardyellow/space2

Hi

I've written an article about a company called space2 and I would like a review to see if it is likely to be deleted or if I need to add anything else, I've tried searching for online reliable sources for referencing, however I can only find 1. What else would I need to add to make it qualify or is it ok.

As I think have added more than dwell or Harveys_Furniture, although it is not as beefy as Ikea.

Thank you for your review

--Mustardyellow 09:39, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

I think you still have problems with notability. Please take a look at the guidance at WP:CORP and the kind of sources that we need to support notability per WP:RS. The single reference that you have (that I converted into an external link for now) is only a passing mention, we need significant coverage. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 15:09, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

Devisavit vel non

It is tough to write about legal issues without using direct quotes.

1. I am having a touch time finding information about the historical aspect of the cause of action. Do you think I should just publish it so that others can add to it?

2. What other information do you think is needed?

THANKS!!!

P.S. My username is XCVIII, but Wikipedia always makes it lowercase...which looks stupid. I disclaim any responsibility for the bad formatting.

Xcviii (talk) 00:26, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

I'm not a law person, so it's difficult for me to understand this article. If you want a lot of discussion on and help with it, you might be able to find a place to do so at WP:LAW. However, this also means that you might want to try to make the article a little bit more accessible to people who aren't familiar with law. (See WP:JARGON.) Sometimes, explaining all of the jargon in an article makes it too long and cluttered, but it seems like this article is going to be fairly short, so you shouldn't have too many problems doing that. Also, you made a tiny typo - Latin, in the first sentence, is supposed to be capitalized.

P.S. If you go to "my preferences," then to "signature," and type in your signature as you want people to see it, you should be able to get it capitalized.

I hope this was helpful! Annalise (talk) 00:58, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the info about the signature. I am going to add some links to other WP pages to clarify. XCVIII 01:38, 4 December 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Xcviii (talk • contribs)

 Done

Kids4Trees

Kids4Trees Sredner598 (talk) 14:53, 29 November 2009 (UTC) November 29, 2009

I am afraid that I have tagged the article for speedy deletion as the article does not indicate why the subject is important or significant. It's also rather promotional in tone. – ukexpat (talk) 16:29, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

 Done

jstroudr/San Jacinto Valley

I created this article, however it is hard to find information on the geography, and climate. This valley is located in southern california, and contains around 50 sq. miles. I have done my best to find sources, so please give me feed back. San Jacinto Valley —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jstroudr (talk • contribs) 02:42, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

First of all, nice work. You've got a good start here - I especially like your use of photos. A few suggestions

• Run the entire article through a spell-checker or, better yet, get someone else to look over it. I corrected a few spelling mistakes that stuck out at me, but I'm sure there are a few more that I missed and you just aren't seeing because you've looked over the article so many times.
• Make sure to look for run-on sentences. You have quite a few in the article. For example, "The San Jacinto Valley as seen from the San Jacinto Mountains, the bright street in the middle is Florida Avenue in Hemet" is a run-on sentence. It needs to be made into two sentences.
• Try to avoid statements about the future unless they can be sourced properly. For example, your sentence "The city will also be home to part of the Mid County Parkway, a new major transportation corridore in Riverside County." might be true, but you can't say it is unless it's sourced. See WP:CRYSTAL for more details about this.
• If you want more to do, go to the Manual of Style, read down the list and make sure everything is compliant.

Hopefully this is helpful, and if you want more suggestions, feel free to ask either here or on my talk page. Annalise (talk) 15:30, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

 Done

Rampart-FIPs (Falsely Imprisoned Persons)

seeking feedbackInproperinLA (talk) 15:18, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

International Forum on Disability Management

International Forum on Disability Management

International Forum on Disability Management

Serifz (talk) 00:07, 20 November 2009 (UTC)Serifz, November 19, 2009

Draft is at User:Serifz/International Forum on Disability Management. – ukexpat (talk) 00:34, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Generally looks OK, except I see no evidence of discussion of this event in reliable sources. Seems likely it is Notable, but we need to include evidence.

Some of your external source links were mangled, I fixed them. Also made a minor copy edit change. Is there an external link for the second meeting in Maastricht?--SPhilbrickT 17:46, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices

User:Ks0stm/Mesovortices is a draft of an article that I am writing about mesovortices, and I am looking for feedback on how it can be improved (I'm guessing by adding more sources, but what else?). Right now the article incorporates text from mesocyclone and Eye (cyclone)#Eyewall mesovortices, and will hopefully eventually be a main article for those two topics, rather than vice versa. Any and all input appreciated, Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 00:25, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I'm not finding it. --SPhilbrickT 17:56, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Mautner Project

Any feedback is greatly appreciated: [[4]] (Actsoccer (talk) 17:45, 24 November 2009 (UTC))

I see two issues. The first is Notability . Most of your references are to the project itself or other sites not qualifying as reliable sources. You do have some references which I think qualify, but they barely mention the organization. I fear that this article might not survive if it does not have better references.

The second point is easier to address. The footnoting style is not standard within WP. You can look at footnotes for help. Also, I personally find it very helpful to use the optional citation gadget. To install, go to "My preferences", select the rightmost tab "Gadgets", the check the box next to refTools (in the Editing gadgets section). Once installed, it will add a new button "Cite" to your editing toolbar. Click on it to add a citation. Makes it much easier.--SPhilbrickT 18:25, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Combustion Chemical Vapor Deposition

 Done

User:Aartich/ Combustion Chemical Vapor Deposition Aartich (talk) 22:44, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Someone else has already added a notice that it reads like an advertisement. I concur. I see no evidence Notability referenced to reliable sources.--SPhilbrickT 19:50, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Progress Party (Norway)

Hi, I think I have improved the article about the Progress Party (Norway) from being quite a mess, to something better. I just wondered if I could get some suggestions to how it eventually could be improved, in for instance style, and perhaps see if the article is worthy of more than a C-rating. -GabaG (talk) 19:21, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

Nicolas Peyrac

{{Done}}

Hi all. I have just written my first new article, about the French musician Nicolas Peyrac. See talk page for remarks and questions I have. Thanks in advance for reviewing. Jalwikip (talk) 08:26, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

Hi! I left feedback at the article's talk page. Annalise (talk) 03:27, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

article name: American Feud: A History of Conservatives and Liberals

{{Done}}

Helpful, constructive feedback of the article: American Feud: A History of Conservatives and Liberals appreciated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Guptaft/American_feud:_a_history_of_conservatives_and_liberals

thanks! Guptaft (talk) 21:16, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

First of all, you need to prove Notability. You can find the guidelines for films at WP:NF. Your other concern is layout and formatting. You have a reasonable amount of information, but it isn't very clearly-organized. Adding the film infobox would be a good start. You can find it at Template: Infobox Film. If you want a guide to the format the article should be in, you can find that at MOS:FILM. Annalise (talk) 16:33, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

Xer014_/Jewel_Kid

{{Done}}

Feedback on this article is much appreciated please :)) Thanks

11:01, 29 November 2009 (UTC)Xer014 (talk)

Same issues as last time: it's too promotional in tone; it has layout and formatting issues (see WP:MOS and WP:LAYOUT); it has too may images (and they have problems themselves, see the tags added to the image information pages on Commons). – ukexpat (talk) 16:35, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

whats the best way to add images? should I remove them from Commons and upload them another way?

I will take some off from the article and re-arange the wording again. Thanks Xer014 (talk) 10:01, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

The requirements for using copyright images on Wikipedia are set out here: WP:NFCC - if the images do not meet those criteria (and copyright images of living people rarely do) they should not be uploaded and used on Wikipedia. So if you cannot show permissions to use the images that you have uploaded to Commons, the article will have to be "imageless". – ukexpat (talk) 20:47, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

I've been seeing some similar pages and their images refer to Flikr. Can I use the images from a myspace page, and get the owner of the page to confirm them? Xer014 (talk) 08:20, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

RBF Morph

{{Done}}

Hi all. I have prepared a draft about a new software RBF Morph. As the author of the software I'm not sure to have the right point of view for describing it; I have used the description of similar software as guideline. Thanks. MEB71 (talk) 17:12, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Hi. You're right that you don't have the right point of view to be writing this article; you have a serious conflict of interest, which means that it's almost impossible for you to write in a neutral tone. Since the draft isn't in the main space, I think that the best thing for you to do would be to leave it alone for a while. If the software is notable, someone else will probably create an article for it eventually, at which point you can suggest changes on the article's talk page in compliance with the COI guidelines. Annalise (talk) 04:24, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

NEF (Notice of Electronic Filing) seeking feedback

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 02:48, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

I just created the page. Will take me a day or two to add more material. I am seeking feedback particularly from people with background in law, computers, or their intersection.InproperinLA (talk) 15:14, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

I moved the article to Notice of Electronic Filing and did a litte clean up. – ukexpat (talk) 18:04, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Hi, please see my current reply on the talk page. In a while I'll probably edit the article again, but I want to give you the opportunity to do so before I have to delete or rework a bunch of stuff. --Glenfarclas (talk) 20:40, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Formula One (1985 video game)

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Hi

I'm new to wikipedia, and I started an article on a videogame of the 1980's that wasn't present in the encyclopedia yet.

Right now it's a draft in my user space. Please give me some feedback on it, especially if it would be good enough to start as a real article or if it needs more info: User:NeoGenPT/Formula_One_(1985_video_game)

Thanks! NeoGenPT (talk) 02:19, 5 December 2009 (UTC)

1)You need to demonstrate in the article why this game is notable. 2)This article would benefit from an image. Please see if there are any free use images that fall under the Wikipedia:Image use policy and fit under one of the Wikipedia:Image copyright tags that can be uploaded. To upload images on Wikipedia, go to Special:Upload; to upload non-fair use images on the Wikimedia Commons, go to commons:special:upload. Sole Soul (talk) 08:47, 5 December 2009 (UTC)

Please check out Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games. You can post on the project talk page, or go to the list of members and post on one of their talk pages. You are likely to find someone with more knowledge and interest in your proposed article, and they will be better equipped to give you pertinent advice.--SPhilbrickT 16:54, 6 December 2009 (UTC)

I've done a major overhaul to the article and added images and stuff. I think its looking really good now, but this is the first real article I'm creating, and I really liked that video game back in the day, so I don't know if I have a neutral point of view about it. Please advise. :) —Preceding unsigned comment added by NeoGenPT (talk • contribs) 02:07, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Ah, much better. I tweaked the formatting a little and I think it's ready to move to the mainspace. Let me know if you need help doing that. – ukexpat (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

By the way, I think the title should be Formula One (video game), the "1985" is not necessary IMHO. – ukexpat (talk) 17:40, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

article name Sandeep Das

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:27, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Sandeep Das (HUM2009 (talk) 09:39, 5 December 2009 (UTC))

There is no article with that title (hence it is a redlink) - it was deleted on December 23, 2007 because it "provided little or no context" per this speedy deletion criterion. – ukexpat (talk) 21:03, 5 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Scome-squ/SCOME-Oman

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:25, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Hello I have finished creating my draft and willing to seek advise to level it up to the wiki standards, http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Scome-squ/SCOME-Oman

Thx —Preceding unsigned comment added by Scome-squ (talk • contribs) 20:49, 5 December 2009 (UTC) ]

In its current form it is way too promotional in tone and would be speedily deleted if moved to the main space. Please take a look at the pages that I have linked to on your talk page, in particular WP:SPAM, WP:ORG, WP:RS and WP:NPOV. – ukexpat (talk) 20:55, 5 December 2009 (UTC)

Air Dubai (band)

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:20, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Article "Air Dubai (band)" link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:LCLproject/new_article_name_here. LCLproject (talk) 05:42, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

The big problem is notability - the band does not appear to meet the guidelines set out at WP:BAND. – ukexpat (talk) 18:23, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

European Youth Portal

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:20, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Dear community,

I have created an article about the European Youth Portal.

It would be nice to get your feedback. For some reason I could not edit the lead again. Therefore there are no internal links in the lead section and I could not create multiple references. The article is not published in the main section yet. Thank you for your feedback Regina —Preceding unsigned comment added by Edesk (talk • contribs) 11:50, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

You will need to find some reliable, third party, sources to show why the subject matter is notable per WP:N. At the the moment the draft does not address notability and all the references appear to be self references to EU websites. – ukexpat (talk) 18:04, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Rasikar/Shilpa Architects (2)

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:20, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Hi again,

I am looking for some help in making the article I authored more appropriate for wikipedia. I got some broad feedback and have tried to modify the article accordingly User:Rasikar/Shilpa Architects. It would be very helpful if you could help me edit/modify my article. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. Rasikar (talk) 12:39, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

See my additional reply to you earlier message above. – ukexpat (talk) 18:06, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

Steve Kauffman

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:20, 8 December 2009 (UTC) Am looking for feedback and/or formatting corrections for the Steve Kauffman article at User:Tolnick/Steve Kauffman, especially as related to live linking the footnotes in the text with the footnotes actually found below.

Tolnick (talk) 16:52, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

I cleaned up the reference formatting for you, moving the references to the body of the text and adding <ref></ref> tags and adding the {{Reflist}} template to the references section so that the refs are displayed there. I also removed the external links as they are already used as references. I think it's probably OK to be moved to the mainspace, though it may be tagged with a {{tone}} tag by someone. Let me know if you need help moving the draft. – ukexpat (talk) 18:20, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

The Tin Syndrome (band)

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:20, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

The Tin Syndrome (band) 1981- 1985 Wellington, New Zealand.

Can someone please provide feedback on this article I have written about this influential New Zealand band - Parks White (Auckland NZ)

ParksIII (talk) 23:58, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

Interesting article, Numerous references to reviews contemporanious with the band that are clearly expressing opinions of the authors and this is made clear in the main text. --Patrick.stjohn (talk) 01:11, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

I cleaned up the formatting and moved the article to The Tin Syndrome as the disambiguating parentheses are not necessary. Also, I have had to tag the images on Commons for deletion as they are clearly scans from a magazine and newspaper. Even of you scanned them, the copyright remains with the original publication. – ukexpat (talk) 02:39, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Morrissey Fox

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 14:48, 8 December 2009 (UTC) Morrissey Fox article.

Morrissey Fox - —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jg1984 (talk • contribs)

Looks fine as a stub - I have added a stub template and a category and removed the tag. I also added an appropriate Wikiproject template to the talk page. – ukexpat (talk) 14:48, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Glaiza de Castro

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:20, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Hello. From November 15 of this year I have been editing the article on Filipina actress Glaiza de Castro extensively. Earlier today I checked its discussion tab purely out of curiosity and was surprised to find that despite the extensive editions I have made over the past 2-3 weeks, the article is still apparently "Stub level". I personally believe that in its present state the article is far from a stub and as such I would like to bring it up in this section for peer review. Above is the link to the article in its state as of December 08, 2009, 11:57 P.M.

In your assessment, please compare the current revision with the last revision of the article (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Glaiza_de_Castro&oldid=324729858) before my own revisions beginning November 15th. If possible, please rate the current revision. Thank you in advance.

Inviktos (talk) Inviktos (talk) 16:23, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

I have changed the Class to C for both projects as the article is clearly that level. You will have to ask at the talk pages of the relevant Wikipedia project pages for further review. – ukexpat (talk) 16:37, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

European Youth Portal revised

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:17, 8 December 2009 (UTC) Hi there,

thank you for your feedback. I now added some in my opinion reliable, third party, sources.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_feedback

I still cannot edit the lead section - therefore I could not delete reference 2. Will this only be possible when the article goes live?

Please let me know which of the other (EU) sources you recommend not to use. I also would not mind to delete the last three sentences and the last reference if you think it makes the article more reliable.

Thank you very much!

Regina

Edesk (talk) 16:57, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

You can edit the whole article, including the lead paragraph, by clicking the "edit" tab at the top of the page. I have reformatted the references for you and I think it's ready to be moved to the mainspace. Let me know if you need help with that. – ukexpat (talk) 17:15, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

Lydia Forson

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 19:09, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

Ghanablogger (talk) 06:27, 9 December 2009 (UTC)Lydia Forson

Hi there,

I am the PR of the Ghanaian Actress, Lydia Forson. I just finished with her Wiki Page so it could return in searches online. Kindly have a look at this article. I would appreciate your feedback and correction on it!

Many thanks for your help and input!

Kind regards, Ghanablogger —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ghanablogger (talk • contribs)

I have spent some time cleaning the draft up for you so that it complies with the Manual of Style and I took out some fluffy, unencyclopedic material. I also removed a number of external links in the body of the article. Ms Forson is almost certainly notable enough for an article per our guidelines but the article needs more references from reliable sources to support that notability. Let me know if you need help moving the article to the mainspace. Also, please take a look at the conflict of interest message that I left on your talk page. – ukexpat (talk) 19:09, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

Durban Industry Climate Change Partnership Project (DICCPP)

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 19:09, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

Durban Industry Climate Change Partnership Project (DICCPP)

Jlramayia (talk) 17:30, 9 December 2009 (UTC) 09 December 2009

I moved the article to Durban Industry Climate Change Partnership Project in accordance with our naming conventions and created a redirect at DICCPP. Also cleaned up some of the formatting and added a few maintenance tags. You really need to find some third party reliable sources to support the notability of the subject matter. – ukexpat (talk) 18:38, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

Slavery's Impact on African English

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:27, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

Slavery's Impact on African English

Hancocka (talk) 07:54, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

At the moment, the article reads like a term paper or essay, especially with the "Conclusions" section, rather than an encyclopedia article. Please take a look at articles on similar subjects and see how they are structured and the tone in which they are written. As a tertiary source, Wikipedia is not the place for original research. – ukexpat (talk) 17:19, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

The article has now been nominated for deletion - the discussion is at: Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Slavery's Impact on African English. – ukexpat (talk) 17:32, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

Pictures on page

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:26, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

I'm currently working on my page xer014_/Jewel_Kid and having some trouble with the pictures which were erased. Similar pages to this have pics with reference to Flickr ... Can I upload pics from a MYSPACE page, and get the owner of the page to confirm them? Is that valid? Xer014 (talk) 08:14, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

Pictures from Flickr can be uploaded to Commons provided that they are licensed appropriately. In your case, the best thing to do is to ask the copyright owner to release the images per the process described at WP:IOWN. – ukexpat (talk) 17:13, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

Vincent Brooks, Day & Son

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 17:25, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

Vincent Brooks, Day & Son I'd appreciate some feedback on this page relating to a 19th century firm of lithographers. I realise the reference list is quite lengthy but hopefully reflects the depth of research made. Thanks in advance. --SVB 19:34, 10 December 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Simonvincentbrooks (talk • contribs)

Blimey, at first glance it looks very impressive. I will take a detailed look and assuming all checks out, I think this one would be a candidate for a Main Page "Did you know...?" spot... – ukexpat (talk) 19:52, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

OK I have done an initial review, removed the tag, cleaned up the external links and added some categories. Again, you have done a splendid job with the article. I have a couple of points that relate to some of the sources. Please don't take this as in any way detracting from the work you have done - I have no doubt that the company is notable per the guidelines at WP:CORP and therefore meets our inclusion criteria but I am concerned that some may not view some of the sources as reliable as that term is used on Wikidpedia. I am guessing from your user name that you are a family member with access to the family and other unpublished sources and therein lies a problem - Wikipedia's guidelines on reliable sources require that sources be verifiable. I see that the autobiography and other papers are available online in a blog. For Wikipedia's purposes that may not be a reliable source as it is basically "self-published". I am going to ask for further input on this over at the reliable sources noticeboard. My second point on sources was that it may help to use named references where appropriate to reduce the number of repeated references in the Refs section. Finally (for now anyway) I am going to nominate the article for a DYK over at the appropriate talk page. – ukexpat (talk) 20:24, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for you work and nomination Ukexpat. If our self or unpublished sources are not deemed reliable enough I'm sure we can find alternatives. Thanks also for the tip on compacting the references, job now done. SVB 22:41, 10 December 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Simonvincentbrooks (talk • contribs)

Split Works

{{done}} User name blocked as a spam name and draft article speedily deleted as blatant advertising.  – ukexpat (talk) 17:25, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

(Splitchina (talk) 02:56, 11 December 2009 (UTC))

The whole thing looks to me like one big advertisement for the company and would almost certainly be speedily deleted if moved to the main space. – ukexpat (talk) 03:13, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

HappyFeet Soccer

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 18:16, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

User:Upper90/HappyFeet Soccer Upper90 (talk) 17:37, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

Unless you have references to reliable sources to show that this program is notable per Wikipedia policy set out at WP:N, the draft will never survive if moved to the mainspace. I am afraid that some things are just not notable enough for an article on Wikipedia. – ukexpat (talk) 18:16, 11 December 2009 (UTC)